The New Novak Boy
by nerdygaycas
Summary: After losing his parents, Castiel Novak goes to live with his uncle Zachariah and his eight strange cousins. His new life at Lawrence doesn't seem very appealing, that is, of course, until he meets Dean Winchester. Will his life get a little bit better with Dean by his side?
1. Chapter 1

**The characters are not mine, who would even think about that?**

**Okay, this is Castiel's background in this AU, so there's really no interaction with Dean :O**

**Do not fear, they will appear both in the following chapters.**

**Leave comments, or don't. Idk. :)**

* * *

The Novak family has always been that kind of family everybody talks about. Sometimes it's because they are very interesting and uncommon, but most of the time it'll be because they are not a bit annoying and embarrassing. But how can they not be so, when there are eleven of them? You see, this dysfunctional family is quiet large and it's composed mostly by a group of exasperating, tempestuous, confusing young people that have hit puberty and are in that hateful process of finding themselves, whether it is adolescence or early adulthood. Neighbours and teachers are always disapproving of the Novak kids, they're really not that bad, not a single one of them, but they're so complex and are made of layers and layers of specific traits that they can rankle your patience in many diverse ways.

Anyway, a couple of months ago, the Novak family added its eleventh member, Castiel, when both his parents resulted dead, product of a drunk and asleep man behind the wheel of a 2004 black Buick Regal. The drunk man was left paraplegic, but the couple that drove the blue Honda died immediately. A man and a woman in their forties, both very good looking, and successful in their own professions. They were married for more than twenty years, and they were blessed with a son. Now, Castiel had lost his parents, most probable he'd be sent with a social worker, and he'd be thrown from place to place until he could become of age, just so that afterwards he could quit all those university dreams he had always dreamt about, and join the world of shattered hopes.

However, his uncle Zachariah was right there by his side just a couple of hours after the tragic accident. Zachariah Novak was brother to Castiel's father. They weren't as close as they would like because while Zachariah lived in Lawrence, Kansas; his brother would be nearly eight hours apart in Pontiac, Illinois. But at least five times per year a family reunion was celebrated. Those two brothers were the only left branches of the Novak family, but the family gatherings were sated.

* * *

Zachariah had married his wife, Camille, when they both were very young. The two of them wanted to start a family as soon as possible, so when Camille got pregnant and had two boys –Michael and Lucifer (yes, as the devil) - the couple was truly joyful. The thing is, Zack and Camille wanted a big family, but they didn't have that much luck having children after that, so they decided to adopt a pair of brothers, Raphael and Uriel. By the time the adoption process with all its bureaucracy was finished, they already had another little baby, Gabriel. After five children they decided to stop, Camille was about to get a surgery and that would be it. Well, Camille's period was non-existent the month of the operation, and nine months after a positive pregnancy test Balthazar, the sixth children of the Novak family, was born.

It was non-stop children here and children there. Playing, running, shouting, crying, sobbing, and eating, the kids were never bored, and neither were their parents. Truth to be told, being father of six small kids was a goddamn hard job, sometimes you could just look at them and feel extremely joyous of the luck you had when God blessed you with such a family, but then again, things are never perfect, that's how we know they are real, that's how we are righteously able to love them. We learn to appreciate not just virtues and excellence, with time, flaws are also evident, and things would never be what they are without the blemishes.

Two years of no big round bellies or sudden painful contractions. Two years in which this side of the Novak family, settled itself and let each member of it be able to gain knowledge in how to treat the others so there would be no fights over spilled milk or the location of the remote control. Two years of pure bliss and economic satisfaction. Then of course, Camille would get pregnant one last and final time, delivering two babies, a boy and finally, finally a girl; their names: Samandiriel and Anna. The last two of the Novak lineage. That was, of course, before the accident, before the ninth child was added.

* * *

That warm Sunday afternoon, at the Social Services office, Castiel had been waiting with tears in his eyes and clenched heart to hear the social worker talk about the slender opportunities of finding a permanent home, and all that shit he just couldn't deal with at the moment. Instead, after waiting in a discomfited plastic chair, the door opened and all he could see was the concerned expression branded on his uncle's face, and the sorrow beneath the layer of empathy. He was informed of the new route his life would take. His uncle, being named his legal guardian little after Castiel's first birthday, would be now in official possession of his custody.

Castiel should have known that, of course he should've. How could he not think of that instead of sulking like a little kid? He was already sixteen, for God's sake. He was known to be very smart, very clever indeed, and now with this sudden tremble in his life, his wits were about to abandon him? His parents leave him completely alone! You should be ashamed, Castiel. How ignorant! At least this was the train of thoughts that accompanied Castiel Novak when he first saw that familiar face in the sea of desperation he was going through. And although, he wasn't close neither too much familiar with his uncle Zachariah, he was beyond grateful to be able to grieve his misfortune with somebody he knew, really felt the loss, too.

After a stop by his house, which was joined with stifled sobs and whimpers after catching a look to his parents' bedroom, Castiel packed two suitcases with all his clothes, and three boxes filled with books of every genre imaginable, for he treasured them as family; they were there when his lack of friends, siblings and sometimes even his parents had struck him hard, obviously he would never leave them behind. Shortly after, they were staying at a hotel, and getting ready for the funeral, which would be held two days following. The decision of staying at a hotel was taken by the young man, he was entirely sure not being able to stay in the same place his parents could have been if their lives weren't snatched from them as they were. The pain of those ifs, what could've been, what could be if… No, he was most definitely not staying at his house ever again.

* * *

The next day, Camille and three of her sons –Michael, Lucifer and Raphael—arrived to present their respects to the young orphan, and to support him not as cousins anymore, but as brothers. Without doubt Castiel felt thankful but a little part inside of him craved for some time alone. He was completely aware that that was something unattainable. There was no way in the world he could find some privacy in that big nosy family he was about to enter. But he knew better, and decided to back off his mourning, leave it in the most remote corner of his mind and heart, only to be brought when he wanted, he was going to be able to control his emotions, he would surpass this test the Lord had given him, and he would make a good damn job of it.

The ceremony was very simple and not many people went. Castiel liked it better that way, no sense in going to the funeral of people you didn't give a crap about when they were alive. After the service they went to eat something, although in the case of Castiel and Zachariah food was no more than played with. After a seven and a half hour drive along the US-36 E, they were finally in Lawrence.

The image of a well kept large Victorian-styled house dawned upon him. He cannot remember being here, despite the fact he has; he's visited the house at least twice, but right now he is unable to remember the place he's in, his mind drifting into a pool of memories.

The house seems very nice. Its upper walls are navy while the lowers remain brick tone, squared windows popped out in every direction, and the pointed roofs gave the house an air of class and dignity. The lawn surrounding it was a patch of the greenest green Castiel had ever seen, and on top all this meticulous appearance, a white picket fence completed the charming effect of the residence.

All magic that was perceived on the outside was switched by another type of aura once you were in the inside. It wasn't that the house lost its appeal or its beauty; it was just so different from what one could imagine. Glancing from the sidewalk you may guess this house was a lovely home with chandeliers, vases, fancy rugs, and not a single speck dust. Reality was quite the opposite. Certainly it didn't qualify as worse, the thing is that you felt cozier and at home the moment you trespassed the threshold.

Everything feels like home, and yet it is not in the very least like it. The interior has been nicely decorated, and it seems like a massive thorough cleaning has taken place to leave every surface shining to impress. Yet with the time, Castiel will learn that objects are often misplaced, and dishes aren't washed right after being used, that surfaces do collect dust and the fragrant scent of vanilla isn't permanent.

At that very moment reality hits him like a bitch. He is never going to see his parents again. His mother's laugh forever lost, and his father's satisfied smile after a good meal will never be drawn. His life in Pontiac is over; he never had that many friends due to the fact that people assumed he was weird from the moment he spoke so they decided to toss him apart never to be picked up again. His old room with moth-eaten curtains and the old desk with many secret compartments are to remain forgotten in that house of ghosts. The unplanned trips to Carlyle Lake, Mermet Springs or any other place are gone forever, for his father will never retrieve him early from school saving him from the dull history teacher who just grieves over her dead husband.

The chain of memories is cut by a pair of strong hands placed on his shoulder blades pushing him forwards slowly, reminding him to go on. When he makes his way to the parlour five sets of eyes whip him despite showing nothing but mercy and understanding. Quickly he spins just to face the affable face of Zachariah, there is some comprehension there, the man knows Castiel needs time to be alone; he himself is thirsty for it. Leaning enough to murmur at his nephew's ear but not enough the kid feels invaded, Zachariah says in rather a soothing voice:

"Castiel…" he sighs as if trying to relieve the weight invested on his shoulder but failing at it "your room is upstairs, you'll be sharing with Samandiriel. He won't… he won't disturb you, boy. I'll make sure of it" Zachariah steps back to scrutinize Castiel's face, he isn't very pleased of what he sees, he knows how the kid must be feeling, he knows it too damn well "Make yourself at home, and If there is…"

"Thanks" His voice is more like a hiss, and after a failed attempt to say something more he smiles a miserable smile. Zachariah nods, he received the message.

"Leave your belongings here, we can get them up after dinner" He squeezes Castiel's shoulder and begins the way upstairs to guide the boy to his new bedroom. Behind him, Castiel's steps are heavy and disorientated.

Samandriel's room is medium-sized, with gray walls displaying some very artistic pictures, there are already two beds there, one of them smaller than the other. The smaller one has got to be his, but it really doesn't matter the size of the bed, it looks commodious enough just as it is, with a soft snuggable bedspread and pillows that appear to be beckoning him.

Zachariah has remained next to the door, inspecting his reaction and waiting for him to speak, but he continues "Feel free to come down whenever you're ready, Castiel" Still, he gains no answer, and breathes hard "Hey!" his tone is more sever now, but he isn't being rude, he just needs an answer to know he's doing the right thing here "Castiel, I know, I know how difficult this is, but you gotta trust me. If you feel like drowning or no… if you don't feel right, there are plenty of people here willing to listen and help you. Do not, listen to me…" his eyes are fixed intensely on the boy's blue ones "Never let these feeling eat you up. Let it out and talk to us. We are here for you, Castiel." The sternness of his stare is diminished and all that's left is pure compassion. After he leaves the bedroom, Castiel throws himself on his bed, and through silenced whines, he gets to sleep some hours.

* * *

When he wakes up, the sun has already gone down. He makes his way downstairs just to fulfill the politeness box. At the bottom of the staircase he founds the girl (Anna, right?) sitting with her knees pressed hardly against her chest, her eyes shut and a soft rocking back and forth. He can tell she's listening music from her iPod. When she notices him, she lifts her head and raises up.

"Hello, Castiel, how are you?" she's afraid of saying the wrong thing, unfortunately she already did.

"I'm fine, fine" Castiel coughs to clear his throat and while doing so Camille, Zachariah's wife and mother to the children, rounds the corner and looks at him in a motherly affection, very much practiced in her everyday life.

"Sweety, I was about to wake you up. Dinner's ready." In spite of her tone being so genteel and kind, there is no way you could refuse or deny a demanding of hers. She isn't expecting an answer and just continues her way upstairs to inform the rest of the progeny. Anna shrugs her shoulders in what creates the impression to be an apologetic way. He follows her.

Dinner was not so bad. Awkward silences were never off the table, but they were filled with the news that came from Michael, Lucifer and Raphael, informing of their jobs, and their current lives outside the family nest. Castiel was pretty sure everybody occupying a seat at the table knew of the things that were being discussed, but if that gave him some freedom to think, he was fine with it.

Castiel returned to his new room without more ado, brushed his teeth and continue to sleep deeply and hard. His next morning didn't seem so different from yesterday. He followed the plan he'd proposed himself, not to show or actually _feel_ his emotions, unless he permitted it.

That's how all days of summer passed by. Castiel staying at home, barely speaking about anything that mattered, buried in his books, and sleeping eleven hours at the very least.

The weeks of vacation are over, and in just one day school had to start once more. Castiel used to love school, excluding of course all douchebags who made classes nearly impossible to pay attention to, he liked learning more and more, and if school was just about the learning, things would be very good for him, but he is not ready yet to face his senior year. Senior year, at a new school, in a new town, in a new house, living with another family, because the one he had, is now long gone.

He is ready for his first day at Lawrence High, or at least, he's as ready as he'll ever be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer shit: the characters aren't mine. Am I supposed to do this every time? ugh**

**Well, I hope you like this one, I had some trouble writing it :o**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

First days at school are never easy. There's something about them that makes your insides jolt, it's not necessary for it to be a bad thing, but most certainly you'll feel a little anxious before the commotion and excitement wears off.

Now, being the new kid in your last year, and having very rusty social skills only makes matters worse, and Castiel knew that very well beforehand. The day previous to the entering of Hell, as he secretly called it, he was conversing Anna and Samandiriel, as they were the only ones that still hadn't graduated. They were nice company. Anna could be rebellious and childish sometimes but she compensated with her sweetness and supportive attitude whenever Castiel was around. As for Samandiriel, he invested some serious amount of time on his art. He could spend hours drawing, or painting, or just lost in thought while images of different picturesque scenes ran across his head simply to be storage until he could trespass them to something more tangible, like paper or canvas. He could be sheepish most of the time, but with Castiel he found someone he could really talk to, someone willing to listen, and not just pretend to in behalf of keeping an agreeable atmosphere.

The youngest Novak, Samandiriel, was usually the target of several pranks and jokes orchestrated by Gabriel. It was nothing personal, but him being the youngest, it was prone to happen. Gabriel was always teasing the others in a buffoonery way. He even called himself the _'Trickster'. _When Castiel first moved in, the practical jokes and witticism were if not suspended, never directed at him, but as days went by, his room sharing with Samandiriel began to be constantly interrupted in the most unexpected manners by the short guy with blond hair and mischievous look in his gape. To be honest, Castiel was appreciative of these daily interventions. He could think other thoughts and feel like he was doing some progress. He was, indeed.

During the summer he had had enough time to get to know his cousins properly. The three eldest popped at the house various times a week and seemed very happy in doing so, the most reluctant and distant one was Lucifer. He had airs of greatness and a feeling of superiority that no one really gave a crap about. He could pretend to be better than his brothers and treat them as with condescension, like making them a favor, but his siblings treated him with painful equality, so he never stayed much when visiting, he just needed updates to know if everything was alright, he was a dick, but family after all.

Uriel was next in line, mainly because he could be rude and have a rude sense of humor. He was much immersed in his studies most of the time, he was studying Politic Sciences, and his major goal in life was to become a Senator. If you stayed out of his way when he was feeling tetchy –unfortunately, this occurred too many times—you're cool with him. Finding him at the place and at the right moment was very pleasant, but if one of these requires wasn't filled then you may as well walk through a dynamite field, waiting for the explosion to happen any second.

"You ready for tomorrow?" Balthazar swaggers coming out of the front door and lowering the few steps of the porch, a glass of lemonade laced precariously between his slim fingers.

Castiel looks up, not a second ago he was staring at his shoes absent-mindedly. Balthazar is taking an elegant gulp of his drink, and Castiel waits for him to finish in order to answer the question. " I guess" Ever since the death of his parents, and for the last two months, his responses are calmed, simple, and straight to the grain.

"Cassie…" he's given Castiel that nickname even though at the beginning Castiel would complain, now he doesn't care, he's come to know that Balthazar isn't trying to make fun of him, it's just a moniker to show both affection and a tiny pinch of irksomeness. "Let me offer you my humble services, my dear cousin, or may I correct myself? Let's see, little brother, I know of a few girls at that God-awful school that could make your first day a little more comfortable, or, you know, boys if you're into that" Balthazar is now grinning and directs a conspirer wink towards Castiel, taking another sip of his lemonade. Samandiriel scuffs and looks at his brother with a tiresome countenance.

"Balthazar, you got out of school two years ago, two!" Now his voice is annoyed, he was never too good to tolerate Balthazar's sarcasm or amusing retorts.

"Easy, easy little squirrel. Don't you see I'm doing a special favor to our new brother here? I always knew you felt resentful towards me because of the great benevolence I've shown through the course of my existence, but to meddle with the romantic affairs of our Castiel? How despicable!" His accent is showing more than ever, and it's always been a mystery to the rest of his family members how he got it, as he is the only one with an English accent in a very American community. Truth is he got it when he entered his acting lessons. All affiliates were British and he was young, so no wonder it glued to him. No surprise he never told his family either.

"Thanks, but uhh… I think I'll stay to the basics" Castiel's voice sounds as uneasy as he feels. His cousin has been trying to get him to date girls and as Castiel rejects the offer every single time without a moment of hesitation, now he's having a try with male atonements. Castiel says _no_ all the same.

Anna decides to take off her ever present earphones, eyeing her older brother from head to toe distrustfully "Where are you going, Bal? You look very well groomed." She has always liked Balthazar the best; only second to Michael, but as the oldest Novak brother isn't living in their house anymore, Balthazar has filled out her expectations satisfactorily.

"That's none of your concern, graceful sister, but as I am so indulgent I'll spit it out for you. I'm going to have a threesome with the lovely Lawley sisters, and no, Samandiriel, you are most certainly not invited" This open answer gains him different feedbacks. Samandiriel looks genuinely irritated, most likely because of the sole mention of his name, Anna has a poker face, but Castiel, not being accustomed to these manners seems torn between aghast and aversion.

"Okay! We are not expecting details, Bal, so why don't you show yourself the way out?" There are many reasons why Anna likes Balthazar so much. One very important is his frank way to respond to everything's he's asked about, giving the answer a sense of mockery and cynicism.

"Alright, alright, young rascals! Don't choke on your milk or you know… get killed by a psycho" Before leaving he gives Samandiriel the glass and ruffles the boy's ash brown hair.

Balthazar is indeed looking very well groomed. He's wearing a new pair of jeans, a plain white shirt, and a dark navy blazer which makes him look contemporary and rockets his swank through the roof at alarming speed, combined with his strut. His black shoes have been polished and his blonde hair sticking up in every direction. It is a delightful view.

"He's such a peacock" Anna states, with an amused pitch in her voice.

"Yeah" both boys reply in unison.

* * *

Castiel was stirring anxiously on his bed, rolling from one side to the other, rearranging the pillow, pulling up or down his covers, and sighing in discomfort. He was unquestionably not ready for the next day, or this day, today, as it was already Monday, half past one in the early morning.

Samandiriel's soft snores sounded like thunders in the deadly silence of the night, and with each tick-tock of the clock Castiel's patience dropped by degrees. His cousin slept like a log, each morning Camille had to go wake him up because otherwise, the kid wouldn't get out of bed, even if the sky was falling down.

The timepiece informs Castiel that it is already 2 a.m. He will have to go to school with dark circles under his eyes, and a tired expression printed all over his face. Great. Every possible scenario plays inside his head like a fluent torrent of never-ending catastrophes. He is Castiel Novak, what could possibly go right? He's pretty bad when situations involve people, he isn't a people person. Sometimes he wishes he could just be like everybody else is, he wants to be able to talk to people without saying any improper comments that'll drift people apart. It'd be so much better if he wasn't such a nerd, if he could stop swallowing books or just be a little more socially adequate.

Tomorrow he could break his leg on the way downstairs, he could be hit by a car and drop dead on the middle of the street, his schedule may be the wrong one, he could get lost never being able to find his class room, the school's bully might wanna try to use him as a punch bag and succeed, a gum could stick to his shoe, people may make fun of his attire, teachers could treat him badly and humiliate him for not being good enough, or else praise his aptitude causing him to gain the hatred of the rest of his classmates; what if he slips and his tray falls pouring its contents all over him, what if he gets suspended for x reason, is it possible to die of embarrassment? Right now, he'll say yes. But in the midst of these vicious delusions, sleep knocks him hard, and he doesn't wake up until aunt Camille shakes him a bit to notify him that the bathroom is now free.

"Castiel, up…now!" she says as she exits the room, leaving a sleep drunk teenager heaving himself clumsily as he strolls his way to the shower.

* * *

Castiel was sitting in the back of the Uriel's car, a black Toyota Camry. Next to him, Samandiriel was writing something in a piece of paper, that's what it looked like until Casiel leaned to take a closer glance and found it was a sketch of a woman's face, she had to be famous because Castiel remembers her from somewhere but he cannot walk down memory lane right now. He's nervous. Sitting next to the driver, is Anna. She's mumbling out of Castiel's earshot while she changes the station on the radio. However, not a single song appeals to Anna, and after a ten minute drive, the car stops in front of a building that could be qualified as no other than High School.

Just as they get out of the sedan car, Anna runs into a group of girls, they all hug and kiss, and talk rather loud and excitedly. Samandiriel glances at him, proceeding to shrug his shoulders in what gives the impression to be an apologetic form. They start walking towards the main entrance of the building. The place is full packed, teenagers everywhere with the maximum of energy greet each other and a strident clamor can be heard from every directions. Parents dropping their kids in cars that cause the traffic to slow down and honks blare in representation of the drivers' besetment. Some other cars go straight to the ample parking lot while school buses start to arrive bringing within them more young individuals prompt to disrupt what's left of the unshaken atmosphere that was held there some minutes ago.

"Hey, man!" a short boy with bristly brown hair and square glasses approaches them extending his hand to Samandiriel buoyantly. The second takes the other's hands turning the shake into a man hug. "How've you been? Didn't hear from you all summer!"

Samandiriel twirls facing Castiel once again, remembering suddenly the presence of his cousin "He's my cousin, Castiel" He says to the other boys introducing them "And this, Castiel, is Ed" The two of them nod awkwardly at each other recognizing that they got each other's name.

Ed turns once more to Samandiriel without being impolite "Guess what? My mom bought me a new screen. Jesus! It's huge, with that monster my graphics are gonna be even more awesome!" said the boy, revealing a satisfied goofy grin.

"So, are we gonna keep inpainting those God-forgotten pictures from last year?"

"Yeah, yeah. You still in the art class? I was about to go to Mr. Sawtell's office to ask about the upcoming projects, you coming? "

"Uhhmm I don't… Castiel, will you be okay? I mean, it's almost time for the bell to ring anyway, and we'll have classes" Samandiriel stops to examine the expression on his cousin's face, whatever he saw there left him at ease, so he continued more secure of himself and his words " I'll meet you with Anna at the main entrance. Have a good day, Castiel!"

As soon as the pair of sophomores went inside the building, a bunch of people, the whole mass started to go into the school as well. Inside it was chaos, people looking for their classrooms and people getting in the way of others.

* * *

Castiel's first class was Algebra II. He decided that it would be for the best to find the classroom by himself. After a couple of wrong turns and the following of a misguided route, Castiel finally found his designated classroom. There were about fifteen students who stared at him curiously the moment he opened the door. Not wanting to draw any attention to himself, Castiel crept to an available desk almost at the end of the room, and waited for the class to commence. His waiting wasn't very long. After the arrival of three more students, the teacher stood up and closed his book.

The man was in his forties; his loose-fitting white shirt seemed a bit untidy. His eyebrows were heavy as well as his moustache, but his head was bald, displaying more of his dark complexion.

"My name is Victor Hendricksen and this year I'll be teaching you Algebra II. Now, what about a little quiz to refresh what you already know?" Finally after fifty minutes of dull numbers, letters, and a bit of confusion, the class was finally over, and it was time to find the Chemistry classroom.

* * *

Castiel realize that his first day would be completely normal, no bumps on the road. His classes were interesting, but he hadn't talk to anyone so far. It was already lunch time and the cafeteria was crowded with students. Thankfully there was a fair amount of tables; at least four of them were free. Sitting at the table while eating cold pizza, Castiel found out that his next class was AP English Literature and Composition, and that meant great news. He really enjoyed English classes, and on the other hand, the day was almost over. Clutching his bag he exited the cafeteria, and much to his surprise, he found the indicated classroom pretty easily. There were no more than ten students, but it was still early. The teacher hadn't arrived yet, and there were many vacant seats.

As he was determined to make this class worth (he really, really liked literature and composition), he chose a good spot, a desk next to the window on the second row. Paying attention was important, but sitting at the front of the class wasn't really something he was looking forward to. In the meantime, he started rereading the summer lecture, Wuthering Heights by Emiy Brontë. He'd read that one for the first time some four years ago. Heathcliff was scolding Hareton when the teacher arrived.

His name was Fergus MacLeod, but everybody called him Crowley for unknown reasons, one would think he liked his sobriquet better. The Scottish accent and impetuosity he injected into his words, made the class most comfortable. It had been the most captivating thing he'd done in the whole day.

Crowley was talking about the importance of literature and its benefit to the human kind when he was interrupted by the opening of the door. A very attractive boy sauntered carrying just a note pad, and a devilish yet somehow disturbed look on his face.

"Ah, Mr. Winchester! I was hoping not to see you this year!" said Crowley with a wide smile trying fruitlessly to hide his clear annoyance at the blunt stoppage.

"No worries, Crowley. You see, sir, I'm not so easy to get rid of" Said the Winchester boy. Apparently one could treat Crowley just as another guy; there was no senseless courtesy, which was a great thing, especially when it was time to discuss the novels and poems. More confidence, better results.

"Mr. Winchester could you please sit down, and let me continue my class?" Now Crowley obviously wanted to proceed with his discourse of how passionate the life of Emily Brontë was. "Take that sit, Winchester" Said the teacher, practically shoving the attractive boy to a chair in the front row, it was the only one left available.

Before sitting down, the boy turned around and saw a face he didn't recognize. It was obviously a new student, he would've identify that face if he'd seen it before. Blue eyes flickered swiftly to meet his eyes, and he beamed at the contact of their gazes. An irritated cough returned him to AP English class. Throughout the development of the class, he found himself trying to get another glance at the boy sitting behind him. It was just curiosity, of course.

The effect Dean Winchester had on Castiel was pretty much the same. If he was forced to, he'd acknowledge that the other boy had with no doubt good looks and he wouldn't mind being his friend, but Castiel didn't get his high grades from being a distracted person. Sure, he wanted to know more about this Winchester, but Wuthering Heights was being discussed and he quickly learned to appreciate Crowley's opinion and points of view, so the class passed a bit too quickly for him. He could've done with another hour of criticizing or praising Mrs. Brontë's writing.

The bell rang and his schedule informed him he had to find his way to the biology classroom. As he didn't know the school and wasn't familiar with it, he departed really quickly, not noticing that the Winchester handsome guy was about to start a conversation with him.

With the words still in his mouth, Dean Winchester looked around the classroom. To his disbelief half of the students had found their way out, and only a few remained waiting for their friends. Luckily nobody seemed to notice what he was about to do when he tried to speak with the new guy. Well, if that's what you can get for attempting to be nice, fine.

* * *

The biology class wasn't so bad, the teacher, Mrs. Singer was actually really nice, but for some reason he wasn't able to concentrate. A brief smile and a bright pair of green eyes were fixed in his memory, and well, those weren't very good news. He had no chance with a boy like that. There was no way in the world Dean Winchester was gay. Every atom of him seemed to scream 'heterosexual', and Castiel wasn't even sure he wanted a relationship with anyone at the moment.

He was absorbed in his thoughts, waiting outside the school when he checked his watch. Samandiriel and Anna were nowhere to be seen, and they were already twenty minutes late. He waited ten more minutes and as no one showed up to meet him, he decided to go home on his own. Truth is he wasn't in the mood for a traipse. He hadn't yet cross the street when he heard a familiar voice following him.

"Hey!" the voice of Dean Winchester reverberated in the warm breeze, turning around Castiel found Dean standing with a wide smile showing nice white teeth.

"Oh… hello" Damn his awkward people interaction skills, Castiel thought.

"I'm Dean Winchester" said the boy extending his hand in hopes of a handshake, after some milliseconds of hesitation and not knowing what to do, Castiel stretched out his own hand and clasped the other carefully with an appeased feeling flourishing inside him. After less than a second he remembered he was supposed to present himself.

"I'm Castiel Novak" after releasing the warm of each other hands the world seemed quiet and noisy at the same time, at least that's how it felt for Castiel. He wasn't able to hear the cars passing by or the remaining groups of students talking out loud about their vacation activities, yet he could feel the rustle of leaves, and the beating of his heart.

Ever since the death of his parents, he had felt numb, but now? Now he was experiencing sensations through each of his senses. He could smell the fresh mowed green grass, taste the chocolate he had eaten fifteen minutes ago, hear the gears of his mind turning around, feel the humidity of the air in his pores, and see the greenest eyes he'd never catch sight of.

"Are you new?" _oh yeah, how original_. Dean was regretting his words, but hey! What else could he say?

"Yes, yes…ahh. I moved here this summer" Castiel thought the thing was going well, not too awkward or anything.

"Oh, that's awesome, man." Dean had no idea what else to say, he wanted to run away and never look back. He wasn't supposed to feel this way towards a new boy… a boy! On the other hand, he honestly wanted to have some time to talk with this Castiel, _huh, strange name. _Then again, this ill at ease moment had gone too far. "Maybe I should go" He didn't know what he was expecting, but having the other boy agree and nod so rapidly wasn't part of his plans.

"Nice meeting you, Dean" Castiel turned on his heels to hide the faint blush that was starting to settle on his cheeks.

"Want me to give you a ride?" Oh God, what a stupid choice of words. Dean cursed himself even before the words were out of his mouth. Why in the world was he inviting a strange new boy with a strange, yet cool, name and a strange but ridiculously breathtaking stare?

"Oh... I don't think…" Castiel was never good with words, especially not at rejecting favors "I… wouldn't like to cause you any… inconvenience" he hurtled out.

"Nahh… It's no problem. At all. Really" Dean gestured proudly to a car. A 1967 black Chevy Impala was parked in the direction the boy pointed "That's my baby" He surely looked like a toddler showing off his most recent toy.

Dean headed off to the car and opened the door. "You comin' or what?" His smirk was extremely contagious.

Castiel nodded and paced lumberingly towards the car. This was not supposed to happen to him on his first day of school at Lawrence High School. Where were all the embarrassing moments with people he couldn't care less for? Last night, this situation never crossed his mind, but to tell the truth, he couldn't complain… at all.


	3. Chapter 3

**characters not mine, although there are like three who, in fact, are. But they aren't relevant. Except Camille.**

**I hope you like this one, and let me know what you think :)**

* * *

If Castiel had been asked to describe the car in one word it would have been imposing or Dean's.

The car had a certain air of dignified nobility enhanced by the adoration his owner clearly had for it. The inside of the car was spacious and classy. As soon as Dean started the engine so did the music, a song of AC/DC Castiel was sure.

"Your car is very nice" He felt the need to compliment the vehicle simply because he was short of words and it seemed like the most appropriate thing to do. Dean smiled widely and looked at him with gleaming eyes full of pride.

"It is. My father gave her to me last year for my birthday, and I gotta tell you, it was love at first sight" This gained him a curious look from Castiel, a little amusement circling his eyes. "Baby's the best car a man could ask for."

Castiel eyed him intensely and even though he was staring at the road, he could feel the weight of the other boy's eyes on him like a ply of steel "You call your car baby?" For some reason talking to Dean Winchester felt natural for Castiel, as if he had known him for a long time.

"Yeah, sure. She _is _my baby" Castiel snickered faintly. "So, Castiel… or Cas? Do you mind if I call you that?" Despite the fact he loved Castiel's name, he would be far more comfortable calling him something shorter, something that didn't sound so strictly formal. Anybody could refer to him as Castiel, but only him, or the rest of the people who were close to him could diminish his name, to turn it into a nickname.

"Uhh.. sure. I've never been called that, but I… I like it" Cas grinned shyly and Dean was kind enough to turn his head to the other side to let Cas hide the dim traces of fluster positioned on his cheeks.

"Tell me about you, I've never seen you before, and that is saying something" Directing a quick glance towards Cas Dean was able to see how his new friend's attention was totally on him. A slight frown forming amid his brows. But he still didn't respond, so Dean continued. He wanted to talk, a lot. "You see, I've been living in Lawrence ever since I was born and I know a great part of people around my age, and you, well… let's say I wouldn't have forgotten… you" Dean felt pathetic, was he flirting without even noticing?

"I moved here this summer, with some relatives." After a momentary pause he added "It is nice here" there was a sentiment on his voice Dean couldn't put his finger on, but it sounded a bit miserable or perhaps nostalgic. Nah, he was just assuming things.

"Well, many people say I'm good company, glad to know you share the opinion" laughing at his own joke he started humming to the notes of Highway to Hell.

"I do share the opinion, but I was referring to the town actually." It was Dean's turn to blush ardently now, and it was far worse than Castiel's. In that moment he realized he had been driving without really paying attention to the route, for he was now down Kasol Drive. He'd forgotten to ask Cas' home address, and Castiel had been too distracted to become aware of where was Dean taking him. For all Dean knew, this kid could've been easily abducted. Not that he was thinking about doing that.

"Hey… I think we got a little deviated" for the love of God, Dean would try to be as subtle as possible to make the conversation the least gauche for both of them. Who circles around town with no proper destination just because they're too distracted talking to someone they've just met?

Castiel panicked a little but he remembered he couldn't really be far from school, so his house was pretty close, too. During his summer time, Castiel passed his days adding more knowledge to his smart mind and watching some crappy television programs. "I live in Tennessee Street."

"Oh, very near Downtown, right?" Cas just nodded apprehensively. "This just keeps getting better, dude. I live less than four minutes from your house" Dean didn't know why, but Castiel had grown fond somewhere inside of him. He really didn't wanna think about what that meant, so he stored every possible answer and replaced them with a _I'm being a good schoolmate._

"Oh, that is most… agreeable" None of them knew what to say after that but there wasn't much time for stony silences. Some minutes after, the familiar street was on view and Castiel became conscious of him not wanting to leave Dean so quickly.

The car stopped in front of the nice-looking Victorian blue-ish house with the perfect trimmed mown and respectable white picket fence. Inside the Impala neither of the boys knew how to break the stillness and say goodbye. Cas was the first one; he determined it was his obligation to thank Dean and walk away as soon as he could. No memories were needed just to remind him of someone else he couldn't have. No, he was better on his own.

"Dean, thank you for… for everything. I am most grateful, and I hope I didn't cause you any kind of inconvenience by bringing me home" Now he was just blathering, not a good last impression.

"No problem, man." He extended his right hand to present one last handshake, and when his hand met Castiel's it felt to him like electricity, something burning him and making him shiver, but contrary to an electric shock, this was pleasurable.

The contact between them lasted a little longer than necessary, but not too much to make it another awkward moment to be added on the list.

"Goodbye, Dean" said Cas, opening the door.

"Goodbye, Cas. See you tomorrow" The door closed and Dean waited until Cas was opening the door to enter his house. The Impala felt somehow empty without the presence of Cas.

_Cas_, he liked the name he'd given his friend. _I've never been called that… _Those simple words would accompany him all the way back home.

* * *

Castiel's house was strangely quiet. Usually there would be sounds, many diverse and quaint sounds. It made the Novak house unique and enlivening. Cas started to make his way upstairs to lie on his bed and rest for a bit, and maybe, just maybe think about green eyes and lots of freckles. The wooden steps squeaked under his light weight, and although this could be a little pesky it definitely added character to the old house.

"Guys, are you home from school?" Camille's voice came dancing from the back of the house. She clearly was busy doing something there because she didn't come to the entrance hall as she usually did whenever someone arrived, hence Castiel went to the kitchen, where he saw his aunt rubbing the tiles with a piece of cloth wrapped around her head covering most of her forehead in a comical way.

"Hello, aunt Camille" Cas wasn't yet used to call her aunt or Camille, it sounded so unnatural. Before his parents' death and during the Novak family gatherings, when he saw and interacted with his aunt he never directed a proper title to her, he addressed her in a general manner since they weren't close and had very little in common.

"Oh, Castiel! You have to tell me everything! How was your first day? Was it good? Did you make any friends? I know you're taking AP English classes and I happen to know Crowley personally, he's such a good teacher, all kids love him, just wait and see. You behaved well I suppose?" The woman liked to talk, especially when she was in high spirits, which made Castiel want to feel less overwhelmed by the flood or questions he was being victim of.

"It was good, I s'pose. Ehh… I… Yeah. Crowley, he's, he's great." Reporting his activities of the day was most certainly not expected.

"Did you spend time with Anna and Samandiriel?" Camille was smiling with all of herself.

"Yeah, some. They…"

"Where _are _those two? Did they manage to go upstairs so inaudibly?" suspicion was beginning to ignite in her. "They ditched you and left you all by yourself on your first day?" Alert! Angry aunt was rising at unbelievable speed. Zachariah entered through the back door in the same moment his wife set up in a rapid pace making Cas feel uneasy, like he was about to be scolded.

"Hey, Castiel, buddy! How was that first day?" the enthusiasm didn't seem genuine but the interest was there, no doubt.

Castiel was about to answer when he was interrupted by the boiling voice of an irate Camille. "Anna and Samandiriel, Zack. I swear I'm gonna slap them both as soon as they get home!"

"What?" Zachariah's face was a funny view. Confusion, indignation, anxiety, and dumbfoundment. "What is it this time?"

"Oh, I'll tell you what, Zachariah… Those two…" the front door opened with hesitancy and steps trying to be muffled were clearly heard from the kitchen. "Samandiriel? Anna?" Camille's voice was dangerously calm by now, or for now.

Somebody cursed from the entrance, and in short, both, the redhead and the skinny boy made their entrance uncomfortably shifting their bags from one shoulder to another, and darting their eyes from one corner of the room to the other missing their mother's furious stare.

"Can you explain what happened today at school?" crossing her arms over her chest, she'd look positively scary if it wasn't for the piece of cloth on her head.

"Mr. Gaines was being bitchy" retorted Anna with her usual indifferent stance.

"Anna" Zachariah's voice, although gentler, was sharper. "Do not try to mess with us, miss. What happened?"

Castiel felt so guilty, if he had just kept his mouth shut, or go home a little later, this wouldn't be a problem. There wouldn't be any problem at all. "Hey, it's nothing. Really"

"No, no, dear. Your cousins here left you on your own when they knew plain well they shouldn't have. I remarked this yesterday to them, they shouldn't have." Her pitch was soft now, she had calmed down and she directed a smile to Castiel, to consequently stab enraged eyes to her daughter and son.

"I'm sorry, Cas. I lost track of time, you see, there's so much new material at the art department and Mr. Sawtell asked me to help him. I was so engrossed with that stuff that I totally forgot about uhh…you?" Samandiriel was feeling repentant and it showed unmistakably behind his words.

"Yeah, Castiel. I'm sorry too" maybe he meant it as well as her brother, but she wasn't so easy to read.

"And what's your excuse, young lady?" Zack was kinda pissed by now by the unsympathetic look on his daughter's visage.

"I went with Lilith and Meg to get some ice creams and by the time we got back Castiel was nowhere to be seen" Camille and Zachariah appeared to be weighing the veracity of Anna's words. "Besides, wasn't Uriel supposed to pick us up?"

The door opened once more and an ostentatious Gabriel made his way in accompanied by Balthazar, Uriel was closing in the rear of the group.

"Oh, family reunion! Nice touch forgetting the family invitation part" Balthazar sauntered into the kitchen putting his right arm over his mother's shoulders and drawing her closer. Meanwhile Gabriel gave his father a hug, and Uriel stayed on his spot nodding at his parents and the three young Novaks solemnly.

"Were you supposed to pick us up today from school?" Samandiriel asked. From a corner Castiel wanted this whole stupid act to finish. He wasn't even mad at his cousins for 'ditching him', on the contrary, he was most grateful. They were all here and they were all safe and sound, so why make a big thing out of this little inconvenience?

"No."

"No?" Anna cocked her head to the left inspecting her brother

"No. I told mom I wouldn't be able to go for you because I was going out with these two morons" he pointed at Balthazar and Gabe.

"Hey, watch that filthy mouth, Uriel! Wouldn't want it to be eaten by the mice, would you?" Gabriel's jocular commentary passed unnoticed. The tension of the moment was almost touchable.

Camille looked guilty by now. "Oh, God. Zachariah Novak!" Yelling was always the best way to express emotions and opinions in the Novak family.

"What?" Zachariah's eyes were a little too wide and a frown made its appearance just to vanish again a couple of times.

"Did I tell you to pick up the kids at school?" Camille just wanted to crawl out of the kitchen and bury her head in the ground.

"…Mmay…be?" Zachariah scratched the back of his almost bald head. "But! I was mowing the lawn all morning and I cleaned the garage."

"Oh, guys, I'm so sorry, especially with you, Castiel" She walked to where the boy was standing and cupped his face; he was various inches taller than her. Then retreated her soft hand, grasping it with the other "And you had to come all the way home walking on your own, oh boy" she shook her head ashamed of herself.

"Oh, don't worry aunt. Somebody brought me, you have no need to preoccupy" Castiel wanted to reassure everyone on the room that he wasn't angry, he didn't have the right to be, and if he did, he wouldn't. If he needed to be honest with himself, he needed some time alone, or at least some time apart from his family. They were all great, but spending two whole months with no other company than them, well… it could be edgy.

All looks turned at him with rapid interest. Some were grinning, others wore concerned masks.

"So, who was it? Who brought you home?" Zachariah was suspicious. He didn't trust people outside his close circle, and he certainly didn't trust people who gave free rides to their homes to young naïve boys.

Castiel noticed the mistake too late. He didn't want his family to know about Dean, there was no necessity for that. He could lie and that would be the end of it, a fake end, but an end all the same; choosing this he'd avoid awkward posterior questions, but he knew how much his family was giving him and in doing so he'd be repaying them in a very poor contemptible way.

"He… a friend. From school" the less he revealed the better for Dean and him.

"And who's that _friend_, Cassie, that's so interested in you that he gave you a total ride back home after knowing you for just one day?" a mischievous smirk was stamped on Balthazar.

"Yeah, Castiel why don't you just tell us the name of this knight in shining armor who came for the damsel in distress?" Gabriel nudged Balthazar enthusiastically.

"Boys, would you knock it off?" Zack was stopping them from making Cas uncomfortable but it wasn't having any effect as it was evident that, if not being the paternal responsible figure, he'd join the team Tease Castiel, at once.

"Everybody out!" cried Camille "I've still got to finish cleaning this floor and you're not making my job any easier. Out, out!" the pressure on Castiel's chest was relieved and he thanked God for ending the super awkward moment.

Balthazar, Gabriel and Uriel were in a hurry, something about hookers and pranks was mentioned, followed by a reprimand from Uriel telling his brothers to be serious about the campaign he was directing and Bal and Gabe were participating in. Castiel wasn't interested in knowing any of the details, pranks or hookers involved.

He followed Samandiriel to their bedroom. The bed with its green bed sheets looked so comfy he threw himself immediately without even taking his shoes off. He was starting to feel sleepy, but every time he opened his eyes, green covers would receive him, and it was merely impossible not to relate them with Dean Winchester. Obviously Dean's eye color was much more beautiful and pure; they were too damn distracting, especially if he wanted to sleep deeply. Maybe he was already asleep, that was why he kept seeing Dean's ridiculously damn cute face, he was dreaming. Of course it was a dream, how other else could he explain the proximity between him and Dean? Yes, it was a dream, but he didn't woke up after realizing it, if anything he slept more, lost in a world of bright green eyes, soft lips and unaccountable freckles.

* * *

He woke up groggy and washed his face with cold water. The inside of the house was deserted but he could hear loud voices coming from the outside. His aunt and uncle weren't home; they'd informed him of that particularity some days after his arrival. They would be dining at a fancy restaurant on Mondays, something about dating even after marriage and get away from their irreverent offspring, and remembering the good times before the arrival of their kids. Not that they didn't believe this life with eight, now nine, children wasn't worth a penny, but having so many others to look after, the couple needed time to never forget what was that that brought them together.

Cas was hungry so he went to the kitchen to eat some leftovers, grabbing a bottle of ice tea and a napkin to go outside with the rest of his cousins. Without him noticing, he was feeling more and more familiar as each second passed in Lawrence. He still considered himself as an outcast, but now he could be surrounded by this people and feel comfortable being an outcast. He thought about his parents every day, sometimes too much, but he tried hard not to linger too much on these thoughts, for he knew they weren't of any use, plus they made him sorrowful against his will.

When he got to the porch a wave of bliss overtook him, making him stand on the doorway distractedly. The plate on his hand was warm and the bottle was cold and dripping its temperature change.

He sat on the floor next to an animated Gabriel, who to no one's surprise was making a joke. Nobody minded, he was funny, and he liked to entertain people, so they took him with no apprehension, as the older Novaks usually did. Truth is everybody enjoyed Gabriel's company, but sometimes his playfulness and his happy-go-lucky perspective, weren't received as well as the younger brothers did.

Castiel's denim was much worn but it was comfortable and it still looked nice. A red plaid shirt covered his torso and a pair of old sneakers protected his feet. When he sat down, the other four eyed him intensely and amused. He took a gulp of his tea to divert himself from the curious stares that made him nervous.

"So, who is he?" Anna had a teasing smile, and Castiel regretted walking right into the tiger's jaws.

"Who is who?" he might as well play dumb and hope for the best, but he knew, that with this particular congregation of people it would be impossible to dismiss the subject so easily.

"Come on, Castiel. It's just a tiny little name, man; do you really want us to be picking on you till you finally get to tell us his name? You want _me _after your tail, Castiel?" intervened the short blonde boy to his right.

"Dearest siblings, I think that our brother Castiel met someone special. That must be the reason for him being so secretive about all of this. If it wasn't like that then he wouldn't be doing what he's doing now."

"What? Eating like he hadn't in a couple of months?" asked Samandiriel with his long legs crossed and his hands on the back of his head, leaning against a pillar.

"Exactly, young squirrel! I see you're learning something" Balthazar punched Samandiriel lightly on his biceps. "He doesn't want to spit it out, isn't it right, Castiel?" the man was grinning in a devilish way, but he wasn't the only one. Everyone except Castiel shared his expression.

This wasn't the best idea maybe. It would've been easier to just spit out the name in the moment they'd asked him, and no one would have give a damn about it, but now, after hiding the identity of a schoolmate, yeah. Not the brightest plan. Castiel swallowed his mouthful of food before speaking.

"He's Dean" Okay. Right, that was easy, indeed! Nobody would know Dean and none of it would matter tomorrow morning or today afternoon?

Anna looked in utter disbelief and Samandiriel as if he had been hit by a small car.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Anna yelled in a high pitch voice "Dean what?"

"Winchester?..." why were they making such a big fuss about a guy they didn't even know named Dean.

Anna's excitement was unbearable, and Cas began to worry he had caused a temporal damage on his cousin's brain.

"He brought you home?" Now it was Samandiriel, he also sounded incredulous but thankfully he was lacking the cheerfulness of Anna.

"Wait… you mean Dean pretty-boy Winchester? Good move, Castiel!" Balthazar winked cockily, and Castiel was now blushing. To cover his flustered cheeks, he continued his task of eating the leftovers with avid decision.

Gabriel was about to say something, and Castiel could bet it was far worse than any innocent commentary his sibling had said, when Zachariah's car entered the garage. Castiel was saved by the arrival of Camille, and he took advantage to sneak out.

Once in his room he felt the pallor coming back to him. So Dean Winchester was famous, what for? Whatever the answer was, Castiel knew immediately he needed to distance himself from Dean. The boy was way out of his league, and if his cousins' reactions were anything to go by, he didn't want a relationship with Dean. Nonetheless that night, he dreamt of handsome face sprinkled with freckles and a soft humming of Highway to Hell.

* * *

Some streets away, a seventeen year old boy was lying on his bed with his eyes staring fixedly at the ceiling. The room was warm and the bed was perfect for sleeping, but he couldn't bring himself to the wonderful world of unconsciousness.

Since Dean had left Cas in his house, he wasn't able to think of any other thing than Castiel. He liked this new boy, he was weird somehow, he couldn't explain exactly why Cas was weird, or why he considered Cas weird, but he preferred it this way to an ordinary Cas, thank heavens he was like this, just like this.

Rolling for the eightieth time over the squashy duvet Dean came aware of the danger of his current state of _crushing_. He didn't do crushes. Sure, he _liked _people, no, take that back. He liked _girls._

Dean tried really hard to find something he disliked about Castiel, but every time he tried to think of some negative aspect of him he would remember the opposite. There were those eyes, blue eyes, so intense and ravenous of something he couldn't yet detect; eyes that look right into his soul judging him. Or maybe he would remember Castiel's scent, so subtle yet so glorious. He smelt of oat soap, and vanilla? His touch was warm and his skin tender. His hair, God, his hair. A brown so dark it almost was black, but no, it wasn't, it was almost. But most of all, Dean was unable to find imperfection when he remembered those chapped lips, so pink and inviting to be wetted by a kiss, a hard kiss that would leave those lips puffed and swollen.

Dean finally fell asleep with the promise of watching Castiel the next day.


	4. Chapter 4

**I didn't intend this chapter to be this long. I swear they're getting longer. They are.**

**Disclaimer: you know, not mine.**

**ahh okay, enjoy (: And review to let me know what you think**

* * *

Uriel was never one to make favors, but there he was, getting ready to go out when he could be tucked up on his bed making his free morning worth something, but no. He had promised his parents to get his siblings to school, every day, for the rest of the year. He should've never accepted that choice. First of all things, he liked his new car and he hated stains on the seats, by accepting to act like a damn chaperone, he also accepted Samandiriel's art projects with lots of fresh paint. Not only Samandiriel, but also annoying precocious little Anna ranting about everything, but being too darn cute to kick her out of the car. And then there was Castiel. The boy didn't talk much, he didn't expect him to be a ray of sunshine after what had happened to him, but he surely was a bit weird. Anyhow, Uriel would have chosen Castiel in less time it takes to blink an eye to his younger sister and brother if a ride in the car, his newly bought car was needed.

He left them at school on good time and returned home to be welcomed by a vexatious and very loud Gabriel complaining about the absence of chocolate syrup for his beloved pancakes. Seriously, the guy had moved out as soon as he had turned eighteen but every morning he'd go back to his parents' house to get his breakfast. Zachariah often said Camille had spoilt the kid, but the both of them loved having him around.

Uriel almost preferred a five hour drive with the three young Novaks than a ruined morning with Gabe. Sleep be damned to hell.

* * *

Dean never worried about his image as he did about his acts. You could safely affirm that Dean Winchester didn't give a crap about the clothes he wore, or how other people thought of him. He knew conspicuously well he was attractive. Attractive enough to look good in every outfit he decided to sport, attractive enough to make girls nervous in his presence, attractive enough to appear confident even when he wasn't. His visage was useful, he had to admit.

But this second morning, when he's looking at his wardrobe, and a knock on his door announces the breakfast is ready meaning he's a bit late, he finds himself dubious on what to wear. He opts for simple blue jeans, not too tight not too baggy; a simple black tee below a nice marine blue shirt. The ubiquitous amulet pendant hanging from his neck.

Dean took a look at the image reflected on the mirror and went to grab something to put in his mouth before departing to school. He was already late.

* * *

It was on the third period that Castiel and Dean shared a class together, U.S. History. Neither of them had any idea they'd be in this class together, but they weren't complaining.

Dean searched for a vacant seat next to Cas, but there weren't any on hand, so he had to sit two rows ahead on the right side. He'd glance back to catch a glimpse of dark tussled hair and blue eyes fixed on the teacher, just going down to take notes. Dean was, in fact, disappointed at the fact that Castiel wouldn't look at him, not even in a friendly-very-brief-thank-you-for-the-ride kind of way. What he wasn't aware of, was that each time he turned his attention back to whatever the teacher was explaining on the board, Cas would be fragmenting him little by little, studying unconsciously every visible part of him, from the color of his shirt and the dirt on his footwear to the effect the artificial lights had on his hear and the movement of his hand tapping lazily waiting for the class to end.

Soon enough that wish was granted. Castiel noticed Dean didn't fly out of the room as the rest of the students; he rather vacillated pretending to be arranging the laces of his shoes. However, when Cas trespassed the threshold exiting the classroom to join the rest of the scholars in the hallway, he felt a soft, solicitous hand pressed lightly on his left shoulder. He was hoping it no to be Dean's but, _yeah right, _it had to be Dean's.

"Hey, Cas!" he sounded animated, if not a tiny bit nervous.

Castiel stopped in his tracks and moved closer to the wall to avoid being dragged by the sea of people bumping into each other and shoving harder as a response to the faintest touch. Dean looked good, hell, he looked aesthetic, the exact definition of allurement. That's when Castiel understood he was wrecked, because he was strongly attracted to Dean _pretty boy _Winchester.

"Oh. Hi, Dean" his voice was husky from the lack of use, he cleared his throat bringing a fist closer to his mouth and looking around trying to get away from the eyes he knew would haunt him all night.

"Were you in Mrs. Lopez class? History class? I think I saw you" said Dean narrowing his eyes. Oh, if he knew Cas was well conscious of all those unrequited glances he directed at him, and how badly Cas wanted to stare back just to lose himself in that sweet yet sinful face of his. _If he knew. _It would be tons better if he didn't though.

"Yeah, yeah, I was. Were… were you in there, too? I didn't see you or anything" Dean replied nodding somewhat too stiffly "Guess I was too immersed in…" Oh goddammit! He had paid some attention to the class, but now he couldn't remember the topic they were talking about, his mind was foggy and all he could see was the amused expression of the taller boy at his loss of words "you know… the class and Mrs. … what was her name?" If Dean didn't notice the effect his mere presence was having on Cas it'd be a miracle, unfortunately for Cas' self-respect, miracles didn't happen on a daily basis, not to him.

Dean let a diverted snicker escape through his teeth. "Mrs. Lopez" he said after squaring his shoulders and leaning mechanically to the wall. After some seconds he remembered that was a pose he used with chicks when he wanted to entice them, and all good-looking girls at school knew that fairly well. The least he needed right now were people speculating about his sexuality or his new romantic conquest, as people may think of it.

Dean was about to say something witty about Cas' source of distraction when a voice started to motion students to their respective classes. Castiel repositioned the strap of his backpack and looked down playing with his feet.

"I think I should… go" the last word came out kind of weird, hopefully Dean wouldn't notice.

He didn't. As a matter of fact, he didn't catch a single word Cas said, but he knew what he had said by the mix of gestures and the obvious hesitancy in his stance. He too needed to go to class. "What class d'you have next?" _Please let it be Biology, please let it…_

"Uhh… I think I've got AP Psychology, or something?" Cas was fumbling with a piece of paper, his schedule. "I better get going" smiling briefly he left Dean alone with his thoughts. Biology would be beyond wearisome, he was sure of it.

* * *

Crowley's AP English IV lessons for seniors were held every day after lunch. The first thing Castiel spotted upon entering the room was the reclined figure of Dean Winchester reading a book next to his seat. He went dumbstruck in a couple of seconds, but it took him less than that to detect the presence of a pretty brunette with tanned skin, which to be honest, seemed a little overdone. Dean chatted with her animatedly and they were right away joined by another girl. This one was taller, just a few centimeters shorter than Dean; her blonde hair was shining impeccably and her posture suggested she was trying to get inside Dean's pants. The two girls were visibly not fond of each other in the least. Dean made his way to his seat passing between them both, and they returned to their seats, the brunette in the back, and the blond in the third row of seats in the middle of the class.

Crowley collided with him when entering the classroom. Castiel hadn't noticed he had been standing like an imbecile by the door and motioned himself to his seat, the same one he occupied on his first class, behind Dean. It wasn't his fault the boy chose the one in front of his, no… wait. Right, Crowley had practically shoved the Winchester into that seat so maybe he wasn't there by free will.

"Cas! You're late." _No, he isn't. He arrived barely a few seconds later than Crowley, god!_

"Uh… yeah, I guess" _Don't look him in the eye, just look at what's behind him and be polite yet brief._

"I didn't see you at lunch" he hadn't. Not that he was looking for Cas to spend more time with him or anything, maybe Cas, being the new student and all that, didn't have anyone to spend his lunch time with. He needed to be a good example of friendliness for the sake of… Well, for the sake of sake.

"Oh, I was at the cafeteria" said Cas taking a notebook out of his bag.

"Were you alone?" _Fuck, Dean! Could you sound any more like a douche?!_

Castiel was taken a little aback by the bluntness of the question, but he was neither offended nor browned off "No. No, I was with my co… friends. I was with a couple of friends" No need to let Dean know the only people he ever hanged out with was blood related, no outsiders, no social life.

"Right. Hey, would you mind if I join you at lunch tomorrow?" he didn't know what words were coming out of his mouth until he had already said them, and as he understood their meaning he felt himself turning to stone with the expectation. Blue steely eyes and tilted head weren't helping either.

"Oh…" Cas was truly disconcerted by now "Sure, if you want to. But you don't seem the type of person who…" _Shut your big fat mouth, Castiel. You're being obnoxious and abrasive._

Dean disguised the insecurity which now tainted him with a soft laugh "The type of person who… What?"

"Never mind. It's nothing"

"Come on, Cas! You wouldn't let me here to die out of curiosity, would you? Come on, you can tell me" his voice was resonant and had an interesting touch of intensity melded with it.

"I mean, you don't seem the type of person who needs to ask to get any kind of company. You seem to be very social and outgoing, popular I'd dare say" a basic analysis based on everything Dean was drew Castiel to this conclusion which was, indeed, very accurate.

"You could say so, but people can become a pain in the ass" that was an honest answer, a good one, until he grasped the idea Cas could misunderstand him, so he corrected himself "What I meant to say is that _some_ people" he jerked his head to where the blonde girl was talking fervently about shoes and purses "You can get easily frustrated when all the people who want to hang out with you are as shallow as a shower"

From that point of view things were different in every respect. Castiel never dealt with people as shallow as a shower, mainly because he didn't deal with people that much. He was an introvert, although not an anti-social one. If you went to him to talk he'd be very polite and never dismiss you, even if you were displeasing him; if that was the case he'd throw comments that'd probably never hint you on what he was trying to do because of the subtlety of their nature.

Crowley introduced his class by discussing Wuthering Heights. He talked and talked about Heathcliff's personality, it fascinated him, and then he started asking questions, more like throwing them at people who seemed distracted. The hour passed much faster than one would've thought.

Dean and Cas said goodbye to each other amid awkward silences followed by brief words and hesitancy with body language. At the end Dean patted Cas' shoulder, and Castiel nodded quickly with a wary smile plastered on his face. Dean considered it a victory.

* * *

The first time Dean joined Cas at lunch the whole thing was a new level of uneasiness for everyone sat at the table. The group was formed by four boys: Castiel, he was perhaps in the most uncomfortable position, he was the link between the others so he needed to keep up with different conversations while trying to integrate the group; Samandiriel, who was talking animatedly about his new project, a huge blank canvas waiting to be painted with some abstract theme that would be hung in the family room; Dean, who was solely interested in Cas and would ignore Samandiriel's comments; and lastly, Ed Zeddmore, Samandiriel's friend, who hadn't spoke a single word due to the fact he was so engrossed in his Invention and Technology magazine.

"Then you're related to the Novaks? The…Novak family?" Dean suspected it from the beginning, Novak wasn't really a common surname in Lawrence or in any other place he knew, and based on the bits of information Castiel had slipped, he made the connection quickly. He wanted, however, to know more about his new friend.

"Yes, we're eleven with Castiel here" Samandiriel interceded patting Cas' shoulder affectionately

"Wow, that's a big number" said Dean after whistling softly. He thought there were seven or eight, but eleven surpassed his expectations.

"We're just six at the house though" pointed out Castiel dispatching a mouthful of pancakes.

Dean spent the rest of lunch time watching the rhythmical movement of Castiel's jaw when he was chewing his food, the way his lips opened to sip at his drink, and the distracting adam's apple which went up and down when Cas swallowed. None of this should be so captivating, it shouldn't make Dean's insides flutter with blitheness, and above all, he _should not _be thinking of what other actions that mouth was capable of. Dean would say something to camouflage his suspicious manners, at least that's how he thought of his behavior. Cas needn't to know what was going on through Dean's mind, and Dean was certain that if the guy looked at him straight in the eye he would discover all that was concealed within his head. _It's the eyes._

As days passed by the relationship between Dean and Cas went from tongue-tied and discomfited to something much more natural. Both of them felt as if they knew the other from a very long time. If there was such thing as soul mates, they would be the half of the other. Surely in a non-romantic way, pfff! Never in a romantic way, they were good friends, that was it. No intense stare contests, no cheap innuendos, no special warm smiles, and no slight touches of comfort. No. They were as good friends as a pair of young unattached no-seeking-for-any-kind-of-relationship boys could be.

The quartet evolved into a quintet when Dean's younger brother, Sammy, or Sam as he preferred to be called, joined the group. He was a fourteen year old freshman with a brown mop of hair and brown eyes. He was very smart and kind, a likeable boy, but something about him shouted insecure to those who surrounded him and were able to see past the layers.

Dean teased Sammy –Dean always, always called him that despite the fact Sam didn't like it. Sam said he wasn't a baby anymore and he deserved to be called Sam. Dean called him Sammy anyway. Cas noticed it wasn't about provoking his brother, it was more of a display of affection towards Sam.—about the majority of things, but he never pushed too far.

If Dean nagged Sam about being a nerd, Cas would see the older Winchester was proud his brother's intelligence. If Dean scolded Sam for something he'd done, Cas would comprehend Dean didn't want his brother to turn into something he wasn't just to fit in. If Dean harassed his brother to ask a girl out, Cas would understand his friend wanted to pull Sam out of his coyness. Cas always saw the good inside of Dean, and even though sometimes Dean acted like an ass, because he did, Cas knew his friend was perhaps going through something he wasn't comfortable to talk about. Not even with him, now that they both recognized they were best friends, not like the kind of friends who hang around each other's house every couple of days, or the kind that know the whole life story of the other, but as the kind of friends who trust each other and need no words to explain how they feel.

* * *

Cas was moving all his things to the vacant room on a cool Saturday afternoon. After months of being unoccupied by a person, but packed with useless scrap, the smallest room was finally cleaned thoroughly enough to be inhabited. Castiel didn't care about the size of it, all he cared about was the restoration of his privacy, or some of it. Since he had moved in, he never found enough time to be with himself, he treasured the times Samandiriel was outside and the house was quiet, that way he could have the room to himself and his thoughts. Not that he did much alone. He just liked being able to take pleasure in the solitude of an empty room when the world out there went too loud.

"Do you want me to help you with the boxes?" Michael was home that day. He had come with Lucifer to spend the weekend with them from Kansas City. Every member of the Novak family was there by reason of Zachariah's birthday. The house had only five bedrooms and four bathrooms so the situation wasn't very easy, but they were all pleased with the arrangement, it was worthy. Zachariah could be difficult to handle at times, the guy did have some kind of superiority complex applied to anyone who didn't possessed his last name and he was short-tempered as well, but all in all, he was good with everyone he considered worthy of his liking, and every Novak was, so Zack was appreciated by his angels, as he called his cluster of children, Castiel included.

"Oh, no, no, I'm fine" said Cas. He didn't have much belongings and he was almost done with moving the books from Samandiriel's bedroom. Michael exited the small bedroom after directing a polite smile and a concise nod to him. The eldest of the Novak siblings was pale, blond and his eyes were light blue, his features were delicate and his voice smooth and compelling.

Fifteen minutes of book ordering, Castiel was going downstairs to join the rest of the family. The house was empty but the backyard was full. The warm breeze brought the barbecue scent to Cas' nostrils, they were grilling burgers, a weakness of his. Cheerful laughs and strident voices could be heard from the interior, and Castiel wished his parents were alive more than anything. He knew he was part of the family, there was no denying that, but still, _his _family wasn't this. His family was buried six feet under the ground miles away. Here he was a guest, a participant visitor, but he didn't belong, not properly.

"Wanna play?" Gabriel came trotting to meet him carrying a football and exuding heavy sweat drops through his flustered skin.

"Uhh…" Castiel was never good for sports, he sucked at them. They simply weren't his thing and he was fine with it.

"You scared _Cassie_?" so he had adopted Balthazar's pet name for Castiel, too? "Do you want your precious little Winchester _friend_ to help you with this one?" His tone was jocular and mocking, offering a challenge, and Cas was in a good mood.

"Shut up and count me in, Gabe" How bad could football be anyway?

* * *

Some bruises and cuts after the decision was taken Castiel determined it was worthwhile.

"I'm gonna take extra art classes" Samandiriel informed the others when they were eating with great zest.

"Meekers, you always so dedicated to your cause, don't you?" Meekers was the new appellation Balthazar had for Samandiriel. That guy loved assigning names to people.

"Don't call me that, you presumptuous annoying fu…" Samandiriel was done with Balthazar's mockery by now, but he was interrupted by Camille.

"When are these classes, sweetie?"

Huffing Samandiriel answered "every day after normal classes. They are very exclusive according to Mr. Sawtell, and not only for students. Other people come, too. It's like a… like an elite assembly for rising artists or something" This gained him several guffaws and giggles shushed by his mother.

"So Uriel won't have to pick you up anymore?"

"I guess not" as he said this, Uriel moved his closed fist in a victory signal.

"Oh, oh. Me neither, mom" reported Anna excitable

"And why is that, huh?" Zack never trusted Anna very much although he loved her exceedingly.

"Oh, dad! Don't be like that! It isn't anything bad. You see, I'm going to be a cheerleader and as I'm the new one in the team I have to practice much more than the others to catch up with them."

"Oh, really?" Zachariah's expression wasn't far from horrified, but if it made his daughter happy he was all in it for her, after all, she was the only girl in his life apart from Camille. "Congratulations, sweetheart" Anna grinned cheerily.

From the place at the table Lucifer, Raphael and Gabriel shared, muffled words like whore and slutty were spoken, only to be heard by Michael who silenced them with a stony stare.

"Am I to drive Castiel from school still, right?"asked Uriel with a disgruntled voice.

"Yes, Uriel. You will drive the three of them to school, but only pick up Castiel" said Zachariah heavily. Uriel could be such a trenchant bellyacher.

"Oh, you don't have to come all the way to school just to collect one person. I can walk" Castiel offered. He didn't want to be more of a burden than he already was, and he knew Uriel was disappointed to still have to drive to school especially if it was just for him.

"Don't be absurd, boy!" retorted uncle Zachariah throwing one of his hands in the air "That's a thirty minutes' walk at least"

"But…"

"No, no, Castiel. We won't hear a word of it. You're going with Uriel" said Camille sternly to cut off the issue, proceeding to swank about Michael's new job and Raphael's secret girlfriend.

* * *

They were at their usual cafeteria table, minus two of the common members of the group. Samandiriel and Ed were with Mr. Sawtell trying to convince him to organize a school trip to the new art Museum which was inaugurated a few weeks prior in Topeka.

"And then Mrs. Silberman started singing and dancing to a crappy song of Lady Gaga. You should've seen her, Cas." Castiel started to laugh genuinely, he didn't laugh like that very often, but Dean had to admit that imagining fat old grumpy Mrs. Silberman dancing and singing was something one could hardly escape without roaring with laughter. He started laughing too, not because of the anecdote, but because of Cas. The simple sight of him laughing was endearing; his eyes crinkled at the corners and his face lighted up like a beacon, it was a charming sound. Obviously none of what Cas did should be legal.

"Uriel must be mad at me" blurted out Castiel a little uneasy

"What?... Why?" _Who in their right mind could be mad at Cas? Just look at him!_

"Samandiriel and Anna aren't gonna be collected by Uriel anymore on the way out." He sighed heavily "Samandiriel joined the art group and Anna is going to be a cheer leader." Said Cas staring at Dean with those eyes that could kill if he wanted them to.

"That's great, isn't it? No dealing with those two on the way back home?" Dean couldn't fully comprehend Cas' attitude on the new agreement. Honestly, he saw no faults.

"No it isn't great, Dean. I feel as if I'm troubling Uriel because I, certainly, am. I told my aunt and uncle I could walk the way back, but they didn't even think about it" Cas looked afflicted unquestionably.

"Well… what if… I mean, it can be the answer to your prayers and I… I am totally fine with it. In fact, I like the idea." In that moment Dean was sure a God existed, and whoever he was, he was making Dean a perfect favor, a gift.

"What idea?" Cas looked a little panicked shifting his gaze from Dean to Sam in hopes of getting an answer. Dean was smirking "What idea, Dean?"

"I could drive you home" Castiel started to shake his head almost immediately but Dean wasn't about to give up on this one. "Your house is really close to mine, and there is enough space. Sam's going on the back, I promise. Aaand that way we could spend more time together" oops! "I mean, we barely have time to speak while shoving food down our throats and in classes it's almost impossible" that had to convince Cas, it had to!

"But Dean…" Cas was dubious, weighing the idea.

"Come on, man! Please.." Dean used his best puppy eyes, he didn't even care Sam was looking at him with a devilish expression. His little brother wasn't going to let this one pass unnoticed.

"Uhh... alright. Thank you, Dean" Cas wasn't expecting that offer, but it was the best one that could've been bidded.

* * *

The bell rang announcing the end of classes. Dean ran to where he knew Cas would be waiting for Uriel to appear in his black Camry. He wanted more time with Cas, he always did. But this friendship existing only inside the boundaries of school was ridiculous, they didn't even call each other because Cas didn't have a cell phone, and calling at his house was purely not an option.

He recognized Cas standing with his leather satchel clinging precariously on his shoulder, his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie and his feet shifting impatiently.

"Cas, hey!" he was _not _jogging on his way to Cas.

"Dean" through a single word, a name, Castiel was able to imprint his mood very acutely.

"I was thinking… we don't do stuff outside school… Maybe we could watch a movie or something, I don't know" Dean was positively sure Cas would reject his offer, he always denied stuff like this or any of the sort.

"You're right. We do not share as much as most friends do." Said Cas chuckling a little "I might take you up on that offer, Dean" Dean let out a breath "When?"

Was Cas expecting an immediate answer? Oh, sure he was! Dean hadn't even thought about when or where, he was forced to improvise.

"Uhh… what about next Friday after school? My place? We could rent a movie and grab some burgers on the way back… and I'll get you back home, so your aunt won't freak out" that offer was merely undeniable.

"Okay, that's uhh… perfect" Cas seemed a little nervous with… what was that? Excitement? "I have to go. Uriel." Said he, and left Dean with a goofy smile on his face, to make his way to the black Camry and inform Uriel of his luck not having to collect him from school anymore.

_Who says life isn't fair?_ Thought Uriel.


	5. Chapter 5

**author's note: there's some Dean background in here**

**i like reviews and i respond questions :)**

* * *

The following week passed by at an alarming speed, at least that's what Dean thought. Now he wasn't sure if inviting Castiel was a good idea. There was no doubt Dean wanted to spend much more time with his _friend_, what seemed to trouble him was the impression Cas would have of him based on the rest of his family or his house, or how he acted in his house with his family. Another preoccupation for Dean was the way his family would react to Cas. Even though Dean was pretty popular at school and had a lot of friends, fake friends of course, none of them were truly there for him when he needed them; he never invited them home. His mother, Mary, had encouraged him to do so because she thought her eldest son was a loner, but when Sam had entered High School he had practically made it his duty to tell Mary how awesome Dean was at school, always surrounded by cool people, flirting with cute girls, talking to him –Sam—in the corridors regardless of him being a nerdy freshman and letting him hang out with his friends during lunch time; being Dean.

That Friday morning, sitting on a stiff chair, listening to the Math teacher's voice, and tapping the ball of his right foot nonchalantly on the polished concrete floor, Dean Winchester's mind wanders. The thoughts inside his mind have been piled up in a corner while new ones appear all of a sudden. Last Friday afternoon, Dean requested his best friend, Castiel Novak, to go to his house and watch a movie together, just after getting some burgers on the way home.

Back to that moment, Dean never thought of anything else other than him and Castiel eating junk food and watching a crappy movie sitting on the couch, and him –Dean- liking to get far more closer to Cas than normal friends did, until the sides of their bodies were pressed together allowing them to experience the warmth of the other's body emanating and becoming one with the other's to wrap them in an aura of pure harmony.

Now Dean's brain is sated with worries. He's worried of Cas' reaction in case he ever found out what Dean's dreamland contains, he's worried about Sam discovering his true feelings for Castiel, he's worried his mother will reject him if she ever knew he's feeling this way towards another guy, and he's worried about his father's demeanor tonight.

Dean is aware now that probably it wasn't such a terrific idea to ask Cas to come over, the reason? It's a Friday. Most Friday nights are peaceful at the Winchester residency, that is by all means, until John Winchester makes his big entrance usually past midnight, always drunk and as useless as a rag doll. He's a heavy drinker, most of the time he just gets drunk and stays conscious in order to be able to drive home and pass out dropping wherever the floor will catch him. There are, however, other times, less times, when he gets aggressive. On these days John Winchester will enter his home seeing nothing but dim shadows, feeling his body lighter than ever, and a flow of power running through his veins. His energy is way too much to contain inside of him that he starts wearing it off by throwing punches to the nothingness, until that gap needs to be filled. So John starts swearing like a manic, he screams for his wife to give him relief. Anyway, she never comes to meet him; she never comes out of wherever she is. John Winchester starts kicking the walls and smashing each object within his reach against the wall. He yells until there is no left air in his lungs, he curses the whore he's got for a wife, he damns his sons, Dean and Sam, for being nothing aside from a pair of worthless little cowards. He blames everyone and anyone for his misery until his consciousness leaves him not to be regained at least for the next six hours.

The students are dismissed indicating the lesson has got to its end. Dean begs for the time to stop and never continue, how could he live after Cas knowing about the shame his father is? There are zero doubts he'll leave Dean's side, he won't be his friend no more. And Dean knows they'll never, in a million years, be anymore than that; that is of course if he can avoid their friendship to be over.

Dean's life has never been paradise. As far back as his memories go, there is always the hateful figure of his father, always with a glass, bottle, can or whatever container's able to hold liquids gripped tightly between his fingers. Dean can remember the days without Sam, very little he was then. Those days were worse than the days now. His father was more violent, he's sure of it, but there's no evidence other than the rage pouring through his voice. His mother Mary locked him inside his room, asking him to make no noise at all, and keep still. _Everything is gonna be okay, honey. Mommy loves you. _She'd leave him then, shutting the door behind her. Her voice trying to calm down her husband's, imploring him to quit his habit, would seal into his son's mind never to be forgotten.

As years went by, Mary's fragileness stopped being so fragile. Dean noticed because he wasn't capable of spotting any bruises or hits as he used to. Back then he'd examine his mother to run across evidence kids his age weren't supposed to find out. His mother would tell him everything was fine, that there was nothing to worry about, that it wasn't anyone's fault. Dean never believed her words, he knew they were all lies, but he also knew the truth was too painful to be admitted, so he let her mother believe everything was fine.

Sam's birth was a blessing to the whole family. John had been convinced by his parents to give rehab a try, and after some weeks of recovery he returned home to meet his second son. They were, in fact, a happy family. Dean had already started school, John never missed a day of work, and Mary would stay home taking care of the baby and baking pies. But nothing is perfect, nothing lasts forever, and nothing is pure happiness; rain has to fall, and clouds have to darken the sky, people have to suffer, and wounds have to be made.

After a year of temporary contentment and delight, John Winchester returned to his old habits. There was no drop of alcohol in the house, Mary made sure of it. Instead, John Winchester drank copious quantities of alcohol whenever he could. Right after work, while he was supposed to be sleeping, when he said he needed to leave giving a lame excuse.

With time, Dean, Sam, and Mary were used to John's shit. The man wouldn't disturb them with his practices, and when he was with his family, he acted normal, just a twenty percent of a drunk. Everybody was happy at home, especially Dean. His mother had endured all that pain and suffering because of her own decision, she accepted and she coped with it. Sam never saw the really ugly days, for him his father was an irresponsible father who took no care of his family and didn't give a crap about the world, until John redeemed himself in Sammy's eyes; he was still a drunk, but one who cared enough not to drag them along with him.

Dean, on the other hand, felt guilty and remorse would gnaw his guts. He was witness of what his father was capable of doing in his worst days, he was sure John used to beat his mother those nights when his fury was almost palpable, he knew all this _I'm okay now_ shit was just an act from John, and he knew he would never be warmhearted enough to forgive his father.

Nowadays, John kept his drinking to a minimum, fulfilling his duties as father and husband poorly, but well enough. It was just Fridays when he arrived later, drunk as a drunk could be, remaining out cold on the floor until he could recover himself. Nobody cared anymore to handle the situation, they let him be.

The bell rang announcing him classes were over, the weekend had started, and his insides never settled still. He walked to his car, his baby was so beautiful. Inserting the key into ignition the passenger door opened admitting a cheerful Cas in the car. His cheeks were a little flustered and an open smile lighted his face.

"Hello, Dean" yeah, he was particularly happy today. Dean not so much and he hated himself for it.

"Hey, Cas." His tone lacked the energy it always had every time Cas was around.

"Have you already planned what we're going to watch tonight?" God, Dean hated himself for the idea he was about to propose. Nobody could regret it more than he did.

"Yeah. Cas. About that" he didn't even dare to look at his friend, those blue eyes would make fun of him for his cowardice and weakness, mocking him and he didn't want to see the look on his Cas' face. No, Castiel wasn't by any means his, he'd never be.

Castiel felt panic spreading to every part of his body, the look on Dean's face wasn't of his liking, and Dean's green eyes wouldn't look at him. "What's wrong, Dean?"

_Everything! _Dean wanted to shout from the rooftops. Everything was getting far more complicated than it was before. Everything was wrong. "Nothing"

Cas didn't know if pushing Dean to get more information was wise, perhaps not, so he waited until Dean could find the words to tell him what he wanted, no… what he needed to hear. Dean never acted this mysterious with him; he never tried to disguise the truth from him.

"It's just…" he began, but trailed off sighing.

"Dean, you can tell me" said Cas, turning his torso sideways to face Dean better, who was fidgeting with his fingers in a nervous way.

"Are you sure you want to come at my place, Cas?" Dean looked up to meet an intense scrutinizing stare coming from a pair of deep blue eyes, they were impassive, unexpressive, showing no emotion whatsoever. He had to convince Cas not to go. "I don't think it's a good idea. It's not that you… I mean, you shouldn't… you shouldn't go… Cas"

Cas startled, he wasn't expecting this. All week the single thing he had been looking forward to was this evening, with Dean. Just Dean, and movies and food. It was going to be perfect. It was. At the loss of words the only thing he could do was stare into those eyes, and try to read behind the façade Dean had created on his face.

A door in the back opened and the trance in which Dean and Cas had been submerged broke. Neither of them comprehended a sole word which came out of Sammy's mouth. Cas shifted uncomfortably on his seat, not sure of what to do.

"… or the Lord of the Rings trilogy, or Back to the Future. If we choose any of those, we have to watch all of them, there is no way of watching just one. Ohh! What about Batman, guys? Or perhaps we should watch some comedy, that'd be good too. Or something scaaary! A classmate told me this movie Silent Night, Bloody Night from the seventies is beyond terrifying. He said he couldn't sleep for two whole days… or nights. Ahh, I don't know maybe he's just a coward. What do you say, guys? Guys?" Sam's enthusiasm was so evident to Dean that it battered him to detect a note of worry in his voice. "Is everything alright?"

"It's nothing, Sam" Cas' voice was scratchy "I just don't think I'm going to be able to go to your house. That's all." There was something wrong with Cas, Sam was sure of it. The older boy didn't even move, not an inch, when he spoke those words. His voice was like ice, crushed ice. He sounded distant, yet upset.

"WHAT? Why?" he looked from his brother to Cas in search of an explanation he didn't receive. "Dean, what did you do?" his brother had got something to do with this. Cas wasn't the type to ditch commitments and Sam knew the blue eyed boy was pretty excited about this day too, so it was all Dean's doing. His brother's silence confirmed Sam's theory. Sam knew the only one who could upset Cas in any way was his brother, he didn't know why, though. All he recognized was the strong bond that united his brother with his best friend. That was it. "Dean?"

"It's got nothing to do with your brother, Sam" this time Cas looked at Sam, not quite the way he looked at Dean, but it was bordering on it, and Sam had no idea how those two could stare into each other's eyes without breaking the contact after a couple of seconds. It was so… uncomfortable. "I have other… commitments I have to…"

He was cut by Sam's voice, he sounded pissed "But Cas! You told us you were coming over. I was looking forward to watch movies with the both of you tonight. Even Dean who is so clammed up told me he was eager about this… well, not directly, but anyone who knows Dean would've notice immediately." Cas' eyes darted in Dean's direction, the latter's face reddened as Cas had never seen before, it was something curious to observe.

"Sam, I'm sorry, but I don't think I can make it. My family… they want to…" said Cas, his voice a bit tired. Dean knew it was his entire fault; he was the one to blame here.

"But you promised, Cas!" Sam knew he was being childish, he didn't care. He just wanted to enjoy an evening with his two best friends.

"Sam, you'll have to excuse me. I forgot I had… to attend…" The moment Dean understood Cas was about to lie to cover his own unacceptable behavior, he had to interrupt. There was no way in the world he would push Cas into lying because of him. There was no way he would allow that to happen. Cas didn't lie and he wasn't going to start because of Dean Winchester. He wouldn't.

"Sam, just drop it, okay?" his tone was harsher than he originally wished-for. Cas was more befuddled by now, sometimes Dean's actions puzzled him as nothing else could, and that was saying something. "What Cas meant to say was that uhh… before going home with us…" Dean kept his eyes locked with Castiel's who had no idea of the direction Dean's speech was taking them "before that, he needs to uhh… go to _his_ house to pick up some things. And… his family, I mean, his aunt wants him to give her mom's phone number and address, because she… his aunt, you know, she's overprotective." His stare was still fixed strongly on Cas.

"Oh" Sam voice gave the impression of embarrassment, he was indeed, embarrassed.

"Just 'Oh', huh? Yes, Sammy, next time think before blaming people, especially Cas" Dean was starting to regret his decision, not this one though, but the first. Yes, his father was still a drunk, but Cas was only going to be in his house for some hours. There was no need to freak out as he had done. No need to worry Cas, to make Cas feel unwanted because the only thing Dean was certain about right now was that he wanted Cas, every single tiny part of him.

"Dean, I don't think it's a good idea" said Cas, his voice a whisper, his eyes a whirlpool of demurral. Dean could feel the guilt eating him away.

"Cas.. I" he couldn't do this. Not in front of Sammy. "Sam, would you go out for a minute?" he looked Sam straight in the eye from the rear view mirror. Sam was about to protest but Dean hardened his stare. The back door closed with a loud crash. "You bitch!" Dean jerked his head out of the window to defend his precious baby from the claws of his petulant little brother.

"Jerk" Sam was smirking mischievously. He went to the nearest vending machine setting more distance between them, Dean was grateful for it.

"Cas… listen" Those eyes distracted him way too damn much, but it was impossible for him not to look back. The sight ahead of him did nothing else than make him speak only the truth. No sins should be committed upon an angel like Cas. "I'm sorry, I'm so… so sorry, Cas"

"There is no need to apologize, Dean" how could Cas be so perfect with his forgiving compassion and his ridiculously awesome dark hair? "However, I don't believe it wise for you to lie to your brother. We know I'm not to be welcomed in your house, and I don't know why…" he was hurt, his friend, angel, crush, or whatever; he was hurt because of Dean.

"Whoa, whoa whoa! Stop it right there, cowboy" at least he didn't blurt out _angel_ "Who said _anything_ about you not being welcomed in my house?"

"I… I assumed that's what it was all about." Cas lowered his gaze to his lap and clasped his hands together "Either that, or you regret inviting me. Which is… it's fine if you don't want me to, I'm not gonna force you to spend the evening with someone so dull and inconvenient like me"

_Fuck you, Dean. How do you manage to be so wrong all the time?!_ Were Dean's thoughts.

"Cas, no… Hey" Dean extended his arm and placed a reassuring hand above Cas'. The contact made him want to kill himself for causing any disturbance on Cas. "I was being an idiot and I'm really, really sorry, man." Cas was still looking at Dean's hand, and Dean retreated it without delay feeling he had crossed a boundary he wasn't permitted to. "The thing is I don't… my family, they aren't what one could expect" Dean needed Cas to understand, he needed it so badly.

"I already know half of your family, Dean" Cas was joking, but he knew there must have been a reason for Dean's insecurities so he added "There is nothing wrong with your family because no family can be perfect. I know it very well, Dean. And don't believe for a second I'll think less of you for whatever you're not telling me. You're my friend, Dean, and nothing will ever change that" Dean didn't know if to feel reassured of shout in anger for being forever friend-zoned.

"Thanks, Cas" his voice was a little broken, he coughed. The back door opened again, and Dean started the engine.

* * *

On their way to the Winchesters' home they made two stops. The first one was to Blockbuster to rent some movies. Dean decided the best was to let Sam choose the movies they were gonna watch, that way if it was crappy he could blame it on his brother, he also wanted to compensate Sammy for making him upset without reason. The second stop was better than the first one, they went to a diner to get some mouth-watering burgers; Dean also ordered pie. No meal is complete without pie.

Dean and Sam's house was a two story green building; there were bushes below the lower windows and a set of stairs conducted to the front door, and the mown was a green as green should be. Dean parked the Impala and helped Cas with the bags of junk food ready to be eaten.

"Mom, we're home!" shouted Dean once in the kitchen waiting for his mother to reply. He gave Cas his two respective burgers, with a disposable glass full of soda, gesturing him to follow Sam into the watching room. He joined them soon afterwards. They were about to start whatever movie, or movies, Sam had rented and to eat their delicious meal, when a pretty blonde woman of about forty years entered the room.

"Hi, boys!" she was cheerful, Cas noticed, especially when her smile revealed pearly white teeth.

"Hi, mom" replied Sam, inserting the movie inside the DVD.

"And you, young gentleman, must be Cas" she extended her hand to Castiel, who shook it with delight, a smile creeping upon his face "Dean is always talking about you" Cas shoot Dean a hasty glare, it didn't pass unnoticed to Mary, she was very observant apparently "Oh, there's no need to worry. They're good things, wonderful things, in fact."

Dean felt his cheeks heating and he knew the blush on his face was betraying him. His mother should not be telling Cas any of this, he didn't even speak about Cas that much, _did he?_

"Okay, mom. No need to rise his ego, haha" his fake laugh didn't do the trick with Cas, but at least his mother had taken a hint and waved them goodbye.

"We're watching Back to the Future" Sam informed after pushing the play button.

At the beginning of the third part, Sam left saying he needed to sleep and there was nothing in the whole world that'd keep him away from his bed. Dean and Cas decided to end it because they were so engrossed with the movie, it had nothing to do with the fact they were placidly sat on the couch, and if sometime a part of their bodies met, well, that was just coincidence.

The heaviness of their eyelids betrayed them, and they drifted into blissful sleep.

* * *

The first thing Dean noticed when he woke up was that he wasn't on his bed. The second thing Dean noticed was that he wasn't alone. Castiel's lean body was on top of him, his head under Dean's chin nuzzled in the crook of his neck. Dean could feel the warmth emanating from Cas, and he was still trying to discern which part belonged to who. Dean's arms wrapped tenderly Cas' back, uniting them in a fierce sleepy embrace, their legs were entwined in an almost obscene way. Dean could feel Cas' hands pressed on his chest, and his heart began to beat faster and faster. The lights of early morning made their way to the room casting creepy shadows. Dean was uncertain on how to proceed, had they agreed on this last night, or was it all involuntary? He couldn't quite remember. The scent of faint oat and skin warmth returned him to the present.

He was on the couch. Cuddling. With Cas. His Cas. They had fell asleep and somehow by decision of cruel destiny, or merciful destiny, he didn't know how to call the bitch anymore, they ended up here, like this.

Cas stirred on top of him waking up, too. _WHAT SHOULD I DO? OH FUCK, WHAT DO I DO? OH, NO, NO HE'S WAKING UP, CAS NO! YOU SON OF A BITCH, DON'T WAKE UP!_

Cas _did_ wake up, his eyes were puffy with sleep and his hair even more disheveled if that was yet possible. His reaction wasn't the one Dean had expected, he smiled a shy smile, his eyes gleaming more than the usual. "Hello, Dean"

"Uhh… hi, Cas" Dean shifted his position to have a better look at Cas. Nope, this wasn't supposed to happen. Apparently, moving his body was not a good idea. He was so embarrassed his face went from pink to crimson when he became aware of his groin pressed against Cas, and even more mortified when he felt the stiffness of his morning wood. Come on, did he really deserved to get humiliated in front of the only person he had ever felt that way, regardless of what _that way_ meant?

Cas was comfortable right where he was, his body fit so well with Dean's, they were like jigsaw pieces finally assembled together, they were where they belong. But then Dean moved a little and Cas knew not every part of him was where it needed to be. Judging by the look on Dean's face, he was dealing with the same issue. They shared one of those staring contests reserved only for the other, and the ridiculousness of the situation made them crack up laughing muffled laughs.

"So…" Dean started, not quite sure how to proceed.

"So…?" a taunting devilish grin spreading over his perfect features, the light made a halo around him when he lifted himself a bit to talk face to face with Dean. Yep, definitely an angel.

"This… are you… are you comfortable with this?"

"Oh, I don't know. You're pretty warm, could use you as a blanket" Cas snuggled up himself once more to Dean, adjusting their previous position.

"Didn't know you were such a tease, Cas" his voice was husky and sleepy, but he determined no dream could beat this reality, he was not going back to sleep.

Wrapping his arms tighter around Cas, he inhaled the other's scent, it was so… Castiel. Their bodies seemed to have been made for each other, their hands found themselves and their fingers interlaced with a tenderness he didn't know before, this kind of things only happened in movies, not in real life. Yet it was happening to him.

"You're beautiful when you wake up, Dean" Cas wasn't looking at him, his head rested on Dean's chest, but by his tone Dean knew the boy believed it was true.

"So do you, angel" cursing himself Dean bit his lower lip, Cas would now think Dean was a girl for sure.

"Angel?" a close-mouthed chuckle escaped from Cas.

"Don't make fun of me, Cas" said Dean stroking Cas' hair and pressing their legs firmer. "I think angel is an appropriate description for you"

"Is that so, Mr. Winchester?" Cas cupped Dean's face with his hand and lost himself in the eyes of his… Dean. His Dean.

"Oh, shut up" He pressed a gentle kiss on Cas' temple. He could get use to this and he would have stayed eternally there doing nothing more than just being there with Cas, if he hadn't heard noises coming from the kitchen. "We should probably…"

"Move?" asked Cas, he'd heard the noises too. Dean nodded.

They were separated from each other in very little time, standing upright in the living room, and how much did they miss the warmness and courtesy of each other.

Mary came to the room where they were now wide awake. "You guys want some breakfast?"

"Oh, yes mom. You surely know the way to my heart"

"That'd be most delightful, Mrs. Winchester. Thank you"

"It's okay, dear. Now, both of you wash your teeth and hands. Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes. And Dean, please wake up Sam" she made her way back to the kitchen leaving them alone once more.

"You go first, I'll go wake up Sammy" Dean patted Cas' back after showing him the way to the bathroom and giving him a spare toothbrush.

After breakfast Dean and Cas got ready to head out. They needed to come up with a good explanation as for why Castiel never returned home last night, and why he didn't had the decency to call.

Outside Dean's house there was another car, a dark haired man was sleeping in it with his head pressed against the wheel. Castiel eyed him curiously, and looked at Dean with his head tilted to one side.

"He's… my father. He's a drunk" It was a very straight answer, and Cas perceived Dean's uneasiness. He just nodded in understanding and got inside the car.

* * *

"Sure you can handle it on your own, Cas?" asked Dean, he felt responsible, after all it was his fault.

"Sure, don't worry about me" the ultramarine of his eyes piercing through Dean like a hot blade.

Dean thought now would be good timing for a kiss, but this thing between them, it felt almost surreal, too new to be spoiled. Cas was conscious about it, too. Let the perfection of the moment last a little longer.

"I'll see on Monday, Dean" said Cas lowering himself to look at Dean through the passenger's window

"See you on Monday, angel" Dean winked at Cas and grinned like looney.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for taking this long, guys.**

**I really hope you like this one because it was kind of hard, but all the same entertaining. **

Castiel dropped his satchel at the bottom of the staircase when he came into his house. The corners of his lips quirked upwards into a sincere smile because, frankly? He didn't even know which part was best: falling asleep next to Dean, cuddling with Dean, or waking up to be received by a sleepy beautiful Dean. The only thing, the only person that mattered right now for Cas, was Dean.

If Camille wanted to scold him, fine. If his cousins started teasing him and he never could hear the end of it, perfect. That was a warranty that everything had been real, no hallucinations or delusions.

He glanced at the grandfather clock. It was nearly 9am. Water falling, knives chopping, and cereals been poured were heard; the characteristic sounds of a tranquil Saturday morning. If he wasn't mistaken, at least three people were at the kitchen. Castiel imagined different tortures from each member of the family.

Camille would be the yelling one, how _dare you, Castiel! We were worried to death! _Zachariah and Samandiriel would step back judging him from afar according to their different criteria. Anna, Castiel was sure, would bitch about his whereabouts and the proximity he'd taken with the eldest Winchester, she'd be jealous. Uriel was gonna be neutral, maybe he wouldn't catch on with the news of Castiel, the insurgent child.

The atmosphere he felt when he entered the spacious kitchen was nothing but pleasure and satisfaction. People were chatting animatedly and there were no worries or anxieties. It was safe ground.

The Novak kitchen was conveniently large, and how could it not be when Zack and Camille raised up eight kids. Just to think they were troublesome little kids once made Cas question the sanity of his uncle and aunt.

Natural light was coming through the white paneled windows clearing every corner of the room. There was also a large quantity of cabinets, all stuffed with china, utilities and appliances, not to mention secret reservoirs of wine, champagne and candies.

The cooker hood was on, Cas could tell by the constant hum it made. Cutlery rattling against the dishes and glasses colliding in opposition to the wooden counter. The smell of breakfast filling his nostrils was inevitable, but he wasn't hungry, although a nice cup of tea or coffee could tempt him.

The sight of a joyous Camille serving waffles to a garrulous Gabriel wasn't a surprise. Each morning mother and son would take their breakfast together; they were indeed very close as far as Cas could tell.

"Oh, Castiel, you're earlier than I thought. Want me to make you some breakfast?" her hand revolving a pan which contained the delicious flavor of scrambled eggs with ham and bacon.

_Earlier than I thought?... What in the world, aunt? Did she… but how? I wasn't… I wasn't supposed to be there like… all night! Why did she think that? Did I tell her I wasn't returning back to sleep? No, no, no. Well, it could've been worse. She could be yelling. Uhh… right, so she believed… okay, I'm not in trouble, right? Great! Thanks, God, I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!_

"Uhh… no, thanks, aunt. I already had some" Cas' body language was all relief and somehow, confusion too.

From the corner of his eye, Cas could see the festive expression on Gabe's face spilling abundant cinnamon syrup all over his waffles making them practically float on it.

"Did you have fun?" beaming she went to grab a plate from a cabinet.

"Yeah, yeah. It was… fun" making his way to occupy a stool next to his cousin Cas saw Samandiriel scribbling down on a napkin on the breakfast nook at the corner of a big pair of windows. It was a really good spot to have breakfast, it was never crowded due to the fact it only accommodated three. The counter stools were much more used.

"What was your friend's name again, sweetie?" Camille was so pleased Cas had a friend, for some time she thought the boy would get stuck, living hell by secluding himself from the outside world.

"Dean. His name's Dean" Cas was glad Dean's name didn't feel like taboo on his lips anymore. A warm feeling galloping through his veins.

Gabriel stopped sprinkling M&M'S to his over-accessorized waffles. "You slept with Dean?!" his mouth was a big o. He was shocked, his hand opened as a natural gesture and all the colorful chocolate beads fell to land on the syrupy mix.

"GABRIEL!" shrieked his mother hitting the counter with her hands.

"No, Gabriel. I slept at Dean's house" there was some serious need to clarify this, Cas knew that perfectly well. He couldn't let people start assuming things that weren't true for his sake, and for Dean's. But there was some truth in Gabe's inquiry, and the recognition of this made Cas' cheeks begin to blush vehemently. He could feel the heat on his face betraying him.

"YOU DID! OH MY GOD! REALLY, CASTIEL? OH GOD! YOU DID!" Gabriel was on his feet, more like, jumping up and down like a little boy the first time he visits Disney World, or the first time someone tries chocolate or cotton candy.

"No, I—" _shut your mouth, Gabriel! Ahh, why?! _

"GABRIEL NOVAK, SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SON!" with the combination of Camille and Gabriel's loud shouting noises it would have been too much to ask nobody came to join the show.

"Hey, hey! What's all of this?" Zachariah arrived, Balthazar and Raphael tailing him.

"Make your son calm down, Zack." Camille's composure and typical demeanor was gone too. Gabriel had that effect on people.

"What is it, Gabriel? What in the world can make you scream like that?" Zachariah didn't lift his tone of voice, he was amused certainly.

"Castiel slept with Dean" informed Gabriel, a solemn look disguising a smirk the size of Jupiter.

"I DIDN'T!" Castiel cried out, not the best way to proceed if Balthazar's snob pace to him meant something.

Throwing an arm around Cas' shoulders Balthazar and looking him straight in the eye "Congratulations, Cassy. I think it was about time you had a little fun. There is no bad time for sex, you know"

"I just went to his house to watch some movies, okay? I didn't have _sex_ with anyone." _Keep it calm. You didn't. You didn't. Not even a kiss. It's okay, don't blush._

"Did I hear something about Dean and sex?" asked the redhead entering the kitchen, her face was pure malice and mischievousness.

"Yeah, Cas had—" started Gabriel with a mouthful of soaked waffles.

"Nothing" Camille was back on motherly mode. "Your brothers are just joking, and they're finished."

"But this whole—" Balthazar intervened, but he was interrupted just like his older brother.

"No, no. I said stop it." The sternness was bone-shaking.

"Oh, come on! I always miss the good things!" complained the girl taking a seat on one of the various stools and leaning her head on Gabriel's shoulder.

"Maybe, if you woke up earlier you'd be able to notice much more. Want some toasts and eggs?" Anna nodded with her eyes closed.

Castiel was enormously grateful the whole thing was over. He could still see diverted glances from Gabriel and Balthazar. He could deal with them later, better if it was never. The subject had change and everybody was submerged in their own world, eating and laughing.

"Did you really, Castiel?" a diverted voice came from the corner where the coffee maker rested. Raphael was grinning with a steaming cup of black coffee grasped tightly in his hand.

Castiel rolled his eyes and went to his room.

* * *

Dean didn't want to wait until Monday to see his friend. He wanted to spend the rest of his weekend with Cas, and there was something inside him telling him Cas wanted the same thing.

They were friends, there was nothing wrong about wanting to spend some more time together, right? Hell no! They were more than merely _friends. _He had a thing for Cas, and apparently Castiel had a thing for Dean, too. How more awesome life could get? Oh, yes. Spending all his free time with Castiel Novak was a good way of improving life.

He parked Baby and guided his steps towards the entrance of his home, remembering his drunken father when he passed next to his car. Dean tapped the window twice startling the man who jumped on his sit. Dean shook his head in disappointment, and he promised himself never to be like the man who had given him the life. He was not going to be a drunk. He wouldn't make people ashamed of whom he was.

Sam was taking his breakfast when Dean entered the kitchen. The younger boy was adopting some strange habits the way he took his food. There was no good food on that plate, Dean was sure. Too many colors, too much green, and no juicy, greasy flavor of ham, or bacon, or cheese, or anything good for that matter.

"Did you, guys finished watching the movie?" said Sam, introducing fresh carrots in his mouth.

"Why you eating rabbit food, Sammy?" asked Dean gesturing disdainfully towards the plate full of veggies and fruits.

"It isn't rabbit food. It's healthy and delicious. You should try some." Sam offered the contents of his dish to his older brother. Dean scoffed and turned to the refrigerator to get a can of coke.

"Dude. No. Gross." Stated Dean. There was no way in hell he would give healthy and _delicious _a chance.

"Whatever, jerk." Replied Sammy sipping fresh strawberry smoothie.

"Do you have Samandiriel's number?" _Damn you, Cas. I'm gonna get you a cell phone myself._

"Yes…" the monosyllable was spoken with suspicion, the latter confirmed by the eye-narrowing he obtained from Sam. "Why?"

"It's just… uhh" Dean wanted to admit to admit he wanted to hear Cas' voice but that was too girly. Only girls get so clingy, annoying jealous crazy bitching _girlfriends. _He wasn't even the male equivalent to that to Cas, right? Nope.

"Oh, please, Dean, don't tell me you're cheating on Cas with his cousin! That Samandiriel? You've got to be kidding me!" indignation radiating from Sam was something reserved for special occasions. His eyes were squinting and he had that bitch face on.

"Who… who said anything about… Cheating on Cas? What the hell, Sammy?!" Dean was at loss of words. Could his brother tell he and Cas felt more than friendship for each other? He blink a few times more than necessary after his eyes went dry for keeping them open in surprise for God knows how long.

"Well, you cannot cheat on your boyfriend with his own family. That's a low blow, even for you." He took his fork and continued eating his food. Rabbit food.

"Cas is not… he's my friend, Sam! He's not my… my _boyfriend _as you say_" _Wow, it hurt a little. He wanted to say the opposite; he wanted Cas to be officially more than friend so badly.

"Really?" said Sam dropping his fork, originating a loud clank with his actions, but he didn't seem to listen. "I thought you guys were—"

"Were what, Sam?" now this was interesting, and a little bit frightening too, but interesting all the same.

"You and Cas. Dating? I mean, come on! You obviously have the hots for Cas! I mean, you're like undressing each other with your eyes every time you look at each other. An no, I don't wanna know the details." He stared at his brother trying to decipher Dean, but he wasn't getting much. "Why do you want Samandiriel's number anyway?"

"I need to talk to Cas" Dean wasn't out of his shock yet. His feet wouldn't hold him still, so he sat on the counter.

"I have it. Here." Sam handed his cell phone to his brother with Samandiriel's number on screen. "Cas hasn't got a mobile?"

"Nope" Dean started pressing numbers on his phone to call Samandiriel as soon as possible, he needed to clear things with his _friend?_

"You should tell mom about it"

Sam had to be crazy, why involve Mary in any of this? "What? Why would I do that, Sam?"

"She works with phones? She can get discounts on stuff like that? Her company allows her to change phones like every month? Seriously, Dean?" his brother could be so dumb Sam thought.

"Uhh… right. I'll tell her. No, no. Why don't you tell her? She likes _you_ better" Dean felt like a coward, but asking his mother to get a cell phone for someone who was supposed to be his friend, just a friend? It felt a little too personal for a favor to anybody.

"No, Dean. I'm not gonna do it. And she doesn't like _me_ better!" was Sam's reply.

Mary surprised them both when she entered carrying a basket of laundry with her. Just washed and ready to dry.

"I hope you're talking about me and not some other girl" Mary was incredibly beautiful, the years with John away, or with John's drinking out of the house, had made her good. She was Mary again, and not an unhappy wife anymore.

"Dean wants you to get a cell phone for his b—" Sam stopped abruptly, recomposing his sentence. He wasn't rude enough to make Dean so uncomfortable with something his brother wasn't talking about, that probably meant he wasn't sure of any of this. "Cas' phone broke and Dean told him you could get him a new one for a good price, you know with the employer discount or something"

Mary eyed both her sons in suspicion. They were hiding something, but by the looks of it, the issue wasn't of great relevance, nothing dangerous for sure. "I'll do what I can. I like your friend…?" she left the question incomplete, because he didn't remember the boy's name. What a shame!

"Cas. Castiel" said Dean a little too quickly. Sam smirked. _Insufferable little bitch._

"Right. Castiel. That's a pretty name, and tell him I'll get it for free. No charges for my boy's friend" she winked at Dean on her way out making him uneasy about everything. Was their bizarre relationship evident for everyone?

"Hello?" Samandiriel's voice surprised Dean, he didn't remember hitting the call button.

"Oh hello, Samandiriel. It's Dean. Can I speak to Cas?" Dean went upstairs to his room. There was no need for Sammy to witness his brother blushing at hearing Cas' voice. No need at all.

"Err… sure. He's in his room. I'll go. Wait" Dean could hear footsteps, obviously from Samandiriel. Then there was a knocking and some murmurs he wasn't able to comprehend. Someone's hard breathing on the other side. Dean was holding his breath and when he realized he was doing it he felt like the stupidest person in the world. It was just a phone call after all. God.

"Dean?" Castiel dismissed his cousin and closed the door leaning on it merrily. Dean had called him!

"Uhh.. hello, Cas." _Not a good idea, not a good idea! _Then again, he'd thought inviting Cas to his house was a horrible one but it had turned out really, really good. Maybe this one would too. "I was calling you because… You see, Cas, I wanted to… Are you busy today?" direct approach, almost.

"No, no, I'm… I'm free. Why?" Cas knew were this was heading, and he also knew Dean was having trouble saying all of this but he wanted Dean to be clear, he wanted to hear it from Dean.

"I thought we could, you know… go out? Just us?" Dean's pacing was frantic, from one side of his room to the other and back again. This nervousness wasn't part of his flirting behavior; he never acted like this when he was around girls. Then again Castiel wasn't a girl, and he wasn't just another instrument to satisfy a horny Dean. Cas was for real, he was more important than any of those gals.

"What are you implying, Dean?" Cas was holding back a chuckle. His energy was overflowing within him.

"I'm saying, you and me, Cas." Was Castiel so oblivious and naïve or was he just teasing him?

"Are you asking me on a date, Dean Winchester?" Cas smiled til his face hurt, his body felt warm and happiness embraced him. This was the happiest he'd been since the car accident.

"Are you trying to make me beg you?" his tone was jocular, he could feel Cas' excitement at his proposal of spending time together, and if the push Cas needed to accept what he was giving him so willingly was to ask the boy on a date, in a ridiculously romantic was he'd do it. He did. "Castiel Novak, would you go out on a date with me today? Please?" there was no way Cas could say no to this.

Castiel sniggered and calmed himself down before giving his answer. "Yes, Dean. We'll have a date, just you and I."

* * *

The rumble of the Impala's engine was heard from inside the Novak residency at seven that Saturday evening. Castiel had started to get a little nervous and anxious, he though Dean repented his words, his invitation, his date bid. But he hadn't, and now Castiel was trying to calm down so when he'd go down Dean wouldn't see the exhilaration state he was in.

This first date, their first verily romantic approach, Cas felt, should be private. As much as he estimated his family, the thing, whatever it was, he had with Dean, was not to share, not yet.

He had told Camille, the only remaining person in the house on a Saturday night, he'd go out with some friends. Lucky him Camille never suspected there was any truth in what Gabriel had so openly proclaimed in the morning. She believed Cas, and his tiny white little lie.

"Come back before ten" said his aunt's voice coming from the sitting room, he can see she's got back to reading her book, _Sense and Sensibility_, not one of his favorites. Lately he hasn't been feeling too pleasant around Jane Austen or Charles Dickens' writing. For once, his real life, the real world, is more fascinating than the fiction he's used to.

"I will. Bye!" he grabbed his keys and stare at the reflex of the mirror just one more time. He wasn't vain, but in occasions like this, trying to look a little better has never harmed anyone before.

Castiel told him to wait in the car, that he'd go meet him there, and that there was no need for him to knock the door, or present himself to his family. It's just a friend hang out for other people, what a lame cover. But the only ones who import here, they know it's a date. Making it secret adds more emotion to it, not that more sentiments are needed.

The passenger door opened pulling Dean out of his trance, lately he could get lost in thought way too often. Fantasizing most of the time with Cas, what other reason could there be?

Castiel's aroma is fresh and clean and Cas. His hair is, as always a mess, a terrific mess, all untidy and tousled, the darkness of it making his eyes stand out. The pair of very blue irises is darker than usual, they look as they did in the morning, when they woke up way too close each other, yet in their comfort zone. The sleeves of his grey shirt are rolled up and his worn jeans make him an easy victim of Dean's desire, the outfit is glorious but the person wearing it is too much for Dean to handle so he goes speechless.

"Are you okay?" _the bastard doesn't even know what he's doing to me, _was Dean's train of thoughts.

"Yeah, sure…uh you look… good" his eyes never meeting the other boy's, of course that doesn't mean he doesn't mean his compliment, because sure he does, he just isn't sure if it's an appropriate thing to say if the date is another boy, he's never done this before.

"Thank… you?" Cas is crimson red by now and notices the lack of air a closed car provides. "So do you" Dean doesn't respond, the deficiency of oxygen cannot be part of his imagination "Where are we going?"

Dean turns his head to look at a bewitching Cas, and Dean curses himself for feeling these strong feelings just by looking at a person. A person shouldn't cause these reactions, this mix of fucked up emotions. He thinks Cas is adorable and cute, sexy and provoking and that the growing erection trapped in his underwear shouldn't be there cause they've done nothing remotely sexual or wanton. There's no sense to this.

"I thought we could go eat something?" he starts the car again and turns on the volume of the stereo, AC/DC has never been so opportune.

"Oh, sure. Great" Cas is very new to this dating stuff, and as Dean's reputation tilts him as very good with this kind of things, he shuts up and enjoys the ride to their destination.

The diner is not crowded, thanks God. There are some people, no big groups, just loners and one or two couples. The scent of fried food is delicious, and the workers with their beige uniforms look tired to the marrow. A bell tings and almost immediately a fat woman of about thirty five carries the order to the table next to the left window.

"Can I help you?" asks a young pale blonde girl battling her eyelashes at Dean. Her hair also has streaks of blue and pink and it's tied in bunches, there is an excess of eyeliner on her gaze and her lips are glossy.

"Yeah. I'd like two double cheeseburgers with fries and…" he turns to Cas, so far Dean thinks the order is pretty accurate. He knows his friend loves cheeseburgers and fries, but what for a drink? "What do you wanna drink?"

The girl seems to shrink where she is standing; any person under the concentrated scrutiny of Cas' blue eyes and tilted head reacts that way. The guy can make you feel pretty self-conscious.

"Cas?" he waves an open hand in front of Cas' sight line, and the blue-eyed boy goes back to normality, as normal as he can get that is.

"Drink? Uhh Milkshake. Vanilla"

"Seriously?" Dean prefers to eat his burgers and fries with something like soda or beer. Yes, he does drink beer, occasionally. Not like his father.

"Mhmm" that sound makes a shiver run down Dean's back, his voice comes out hoarse and shaken when he speaks next, turning his back on Cas to continue his order with the cashier.

"You heard him, uhh vanilla milkshake. I'll get a coke." The girl makes her way to the kitchens giving the cook the order.

"AND PIE! APPLE PIE!" yells Dean, casing commotion to the snob clients.

Cas is smiling, he believes Dean to be the most complex creature in the whole of the universe and at the same time, the most mesmerizing one he's ever laid his eyes on.

"Do you think we can make it a takeout order?" Cas is behind Dean, speaking too close to his ear, startling him, Cas is sneaky and he's able to muffle his steps turning their sound nonexistent.

"Cas! Jesus! Don't make that to me, man!"_ oh those lips_ "I'll… I'll tell her."

"I'll wait by the car" Dean tugs at the hem of Cas' coat.

"It's chilly out there, Cas." Why every damn time he opens his mouth he manages to sound either like a jealous chick or an overprotective mother? Damn.

"I'll be fine, Dean" the corners of his mouth turn his expression into a too adorable smile, and Dean loses himself in the abyss of perfection his friend is.

"Here you go!" cries out the blonde girl in a high-pitched voice.

There's some struggle when it comes to paying. Cas insists in at least pay his part of the meal, Dean argues he's the one who made the suggestion of going on a date so he is the one responsible for the costs of the evening. The discussion ends once Dean pays the bill and Cas offers a big fat tip almost as substantial as the bill itself.

They decide to eat on the hood of the car, in the vacated parking lot of a closed shop. The temperature has dropped and the cool night breezes of November make them feel every sensation there is.

For some time they eat in silence, sharing sporadic glances and unintentional touches.

"So… milkshake?" asks Dean, he's not sure of what topic to aboard on this date. If the date was with a girl he'd be sucking her mouth dry with every kiss, probably they'd already being having mindless sex. Hell, he wouldn't be doing this date shit, it would have been a one night stand to release his teenager high levels of testosterone and that'd be the end of it.

"Yeah. I find it the most adequate beverage to accompany burgers and fries. My mother—" Dean isn't sure if it was an optical illusion or it had truly been a glimpse of pain and ache escaping Cas' face.

"Your mother?" he isn't sure if he's being obtrusive, but now that he thinks about it Cas never talks about his parents. It's always either the cousins or the aunt and uncle. Apparently Dean's observational skills are no good when he's so envisioning Cas in ways that are rated M.

"It's… nothing" Cas sighs and takes another sip at his vanilla milkshake. It's cold and creamy, perfect.

"Cas, you know… you can tell me everything, man… I'm here for you" Dean puts his hand over Cas' thigh and gives it a comforting squeeze, to transmit reassurance.

"Dean, it's nothing" his voice is strained and a lot harsher than he meant it to be. Dean retreats his hand in a swift movement and stares down, he touched a nerve, and he fucked it up and in the very first date.

"I'm sorry" says Cas. His hand reaches tentatively and lies in midair waiting for Dean to take it with his own. And he does, after looking Cas' in the eye as to ask for permission. "It's just not something I want to discuss at the moment. Forgive me."

When Cas' lexicon becomes more solemn and empty, that's when he feels ashamed or guilty, and Dean wants none of those feelings to overcome his angel right now, never if it's possible.

"Cas… no. Just don't. If you don't feel like talking about I won't push you. I just wanted to let you know I'm here, okay?" a middle and index finger lift Cas' face and their eyes met. Dean's insides are melting with longing and they are so, so close. But now is not the moment, not when Cas is upset, that'd be taking advantage of him, and Dean is not willing to give Cas a reason to walk away from him. His gaze is locked with Cas', his appendage makes its way back and grabs the burger which is now seized with both of his hands.

"Dean?"

The only thing Dean sees before everything turns into confusion are two blue eyes, which are not so blue, the pupils are dilated to the point there is no blue left. Next thing he knows his lips are pressed against Cas' lips. At first there's no room for other feeling other than perplexity, but once his mind catches on he decides to make this kiss a good one.

He pushes his lips harder, forcing Cas to part his lips, and just a tiny space between them is needed for Dean to introduce his yearning tongue inside Cas. It feels sloppy and wet. His tongue explores every corner of Castiel's mouth and God, isn't that arousing? His jeans are beginning to feel too tight and he places a hand on Cas' shoulder to sustain himself. A soft moaning originates from the very inside of his, and that is enough to turn on Cas and make him return the kiss rather clumsy but passionate.

Cas starts by imitating Dean's actions, making his way inside Dean's mouth savoring the taste of cheeseburger and fries, but Dean's not letting him take control so easily, and he nips Cas' lower lip tenderly. The kiss is prolonged until the need for air is inescapable.

Their need for each other is pure and genuine. Not even waiting to catch their breaths again, Dean lowers Cas, laying him flat over the hood of the Impala. Cas' legs are trapped between Dean's and their chests are pushed together when he catches Dean's lip, cupping his face, aching to have more of him. Dean starts panting; his breathing has become frenzied with stimulation and he tugs the other boy's hair, pulling it to give his sexual energy some rest, to not let it go all the way, he's not sure he's ready for that, not even with Cas.

Castiel breaks the kiss and Dean buries his face in Cas, where neck and shoulder blend together. He can feel strong arms embracing him strongly, as if he was the only life jacket left in the middle of the ocean on a stormy night. He starts to calm down and thinks of waves, soft waves shaking him gently, until he understands it's not waves, it's the movement Cas is making.

His already hard cock gives another jerk; Cas is trembling under him, and the only truth there is to be known is that they're both hard. The Impala complains with a rattle when Cas rolls himself positioning his body over Dean, it happens fast and they're back to their ardent making-out session.

Dean grabs Cas' ass with his both hands, feeling the roundness of it and wanting to detach every layer of clothing from his own personal angel. Meanwhile Cas ravishes Dean's lips, and motioning his fully rigid erection in modest circles.

"Mphmm…Cas" Dean cries out when Cas releases his mouth. His hand goes all the way down to take possession of Cas' clothed penis.

"D-dean…" says Cas in midst of his labored respiration.

Dean's cock is aching yet, he needs release and soon. In that moment Cas kisses him so gently, placing a hand on his nape and moaning _Dean_ inside his own mouth. That pushed him to the edge and he starts spilling semen and making himself dirty with it. Cas can feel Dean when the latter reaches his climax and starts chanting Dean's name like it's a prayer. Then, he's coming in his pants, too, and the sensation is so raw and fierce he has to cling to Dean until his vision is no longer blurry.

Blue meets green, and they laugh softly sharing pecks just pausing to look into each other's eyes.

"Oh damn! I dropped my burger!" protests Dean, not really being serious.

"Oh, you should have paid more attention to it" says Cas letting go of Dean and jumping out of the hood to stand on the ground again.

"Oh, yeah. Because a common cheeseburger is much more interesting than a turned on sexy boyfriend" replies Dean sarcastically, and starts laughing at his own hilarity but stops deadpan when _boyfriend_ sinks in.

"Boyfriend?" Cas is wearing the smug expression.

"Uh… I mean, you and I… we're together, right? So I thought… think… that you… well boyfriend" Dean is unable to continue when Cas' lips start kissing his neck.

"I think I prefer _sexy _boyfriend, thank you very much" Cas roars into laughter when Dean starts nuzzling his nose against his neck.

Dean's phone starts playing some Metallica song. It's his mother announcing him to get home. His curfew is hateful!

"Come on, I better take you home before you make me do something else to you" he jokes, leaving the cheeseburger forgotten on the floor. The milkshake and the coke have been spilled as well and the only remaining provision is the pie. He'll have time for that later, when he gets home and isn't stealing kisses from Cas every three seconds.

* * *

_so guys, idk, i have no experience with kissing at all. Let me know what you think!_

_ahh, also i'm reading sense and sensibility and just finished great expectations._

_not so much into classical literature at the moment, i'm afraid they're feeling like a burden. too much gay smut i'm afraid. _


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm sorry this took that long. I was busy, but here it is :)**

* * *

School days had never been so pleasant for the boys. Dean had always been the trouble maker who flirted with every girl worth looking twice; Castiel was an introvert with little friends who saw no other reason to go to school other than studying, having fun wasn't part of his plans, and if he did, well, then the entertainment would be well received.

Every day Dean would wait outside Castiel' s house to take him to school, in the time it took to get there they would greet each other with hungry kisses and lazy good mornings. They were never late, but that doesn't mean they didn't remain a little more than necessary inside the Impala. The monstrous car parked in a secluded spot where no one could see them.

It wasn't a secret that Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak had something going on. Girls would gossip behind their backs, people wondered if it was really true or just a well spread rumor. People talked because who could've, honestly, thought Dean Winchester, popular senior womanizer Dean Winchester, was dating the new mysterious weird boy?

Dean was well aware of these blathers, and if true Dean didn't appreciate people talking about him, if they talked about him and Cas, things were different. He wanted people to know that he and Cas were something, that they were together, and that neither he nor Cas were available, that they were spoken for.

The days and weeks passed by like a blur. All leaves had fallen and the nuance of browns, yellows, and oranges which previously coveted the sated grounds was no longer in sight. Instead, the atmosphere had turned limpid and stark.

Naked trees and patches of white snow prevailed, displaying a marvelous panorama. The gusts of cold wind tousled and tangled their hairs; their cheeks would color reddish, and their bodies would reclaim the heat the other could offer.

Back on November Cas invited Dean to his house to celebrate Thanksgiving. Dean said no.

"Why not, Dean?" asked Cas, flailing his arms in desperation. Dean could be mystifying and therefore maddening.

"I told you, Cas. I can't" replied Dean closing his locker and avoiding to avert his boyfriend's gaze.

"You haven't told me _anything, _Dean. You just said you couldn't, but you're not telling me why." His eyes darted on Dean's direction more vehemently, his hands buried deep inside the pockets of his denims. "Are you sure this isn't about my cousins?"

"No, Cas… It's just…" Why? Why was it so hard for him to say something so simple?

Cas held his hand and invaded Dean's personal even more. "You can tell me everything" his voice wasn't serious by now, the bastard was playing his seductive voice, the one which could make Dean go crazy.

"Okay, okay. Just stop. I don't need no accidents in a hallway at school because of _you." _His smile was conspiratorial. "You see, I… For me, this time, this Thanksgiving shit is to be with uh… family?" Cas' face was inexpressive, a poker face that could win the galaxy. "It's not that you aren't family, Cas… 'cause you know, you're my boyfriend and you are family too, but I… you surely will—"

"Woah, Dean, stop! It's fine. I understand" open hands thrown in the air and a smile creeping across his face.

"You do?"

"Of course. Thanksgiving is for the family, and although we are very close to each other, we still need our private time to do stuff apart from the other. I understand. Family is very important to you, I've noticed."

The misunderstanding was resolved with a quick make-out session inside the janitor room. Afterwards Dean left Cas at his house and sang all the way back home because to be honest, Cas was the best boyfriend ever.

* * *

Winter that year wasn't so raw, it was cold for sure, but pleasant in a wintry way. It was the last day before Christmas break. The streets weren't all that inviting, but people always do what they want.

Sam had the flu so he had missed school that day. That left Dean and Cas alone, and hungry. After school they went to a coffee shop to get something steamy hot.

Most of the time they went to diners, but Cas had insisted he needed coffee… from a coffee shop. Dean teased Cas, arguing the latter was picky, crabby and hard to please.

"God only knows why I'm with you" replied Cas entering the establishment, the scent of hot beverages, caffeine, and sweet biscuits impregnating his senses.

Dean wasn't sure if the previous comment had been a compliment or an insult. After two seconds of brain debate, and the dumbstruck look on his face, he admitted himself inside the shop, following the dark haired boy's steps with alacrity.

Cas is surprised when a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around his waist. He can feel Dean glued to him, chest pressed securely to his back. Dean is warm and his grip is firm, caffeine melts and all that's left is the aroma of Dean, the one that's purely and merely Dean Winchester, the one Castiel has no words to describe and no forms to express, but the one he has become so acquainted with.

Dean's chin rested over Cas' shoulder nuzzling his neck playfully, making Cas giggle shyly as he tries to separate himself from Dean, but the Winchester doesn't like to let go, in its place he hugs Castiel more tight, making sure there's no escape route for Cas.

Dean kisses Cas' earlobe so lightly it could've never happened, but then he starts nibbling the lobe of said boy. Cas laughs harder and starts to blush, and Dean decides it's enough, they are in no need to put up a show for this people.

"My treat" he purrs teasingly, his lips brushing Castiel's helix, his hands united with Cas' hands. A shiver runs down Castiel's spine and he feels dizzy with arousal. Nope, not a good sign.

Dean lets go of Castiel and heads off to the counter to order whatever it was they were to buy in the first place. Castiel finds an empty table and waits for Dean to come back, in the meanwhile, he busies himself reading Jane Austen, damn her, he's getting tired of her style.

The place starts to get crowded; people are looking for a refuge after the light blizzard that's taking place outside. Nobody likes to get soaked with snow anymore. What some minutes ago was an enjoyable quiet place smelling like winter remedy is now nothing more than a room with people complaining about everything, there's a group of seven or eight, they seem to be no more than fourteen years old, very loud and very demanding.

By the time Dean comes back, a brunette girl with a yellow beanie and a serious addiction to her cell phone is occupying what should be his seat. Castiel is engrossed in whatever he's reading, apparently he hasn't noticed the presence of the text-addict. The girl glances at him every few seconds, Dean's perceived from the place he's waiting for the girl to make her exit.

Castiel's oblivious, the girl's being obnoxious and Dean has no time for gibberish. Striding to where the rickety table is located Dean places the cups of coffee on the table.

"I thought you were saving me a seat, _baby" _the look on the girl's face is priceless, and so is Castiel's. He's as flabbergasted as if a random stranger had just slapped him with a trout. The girl stops pressing buttons and looks from one boy to the other but does nothing else.

Dean clears his throat not sure of what his next move should be. Obviously the girl needs to vacate the space she's absorbing, there's no reason she should be there, none at all. On the other hand, Dean needs Cas to say something but the dummy is still in a comatose state, that's what Dean would say.

"Here" he hands Cas the cup of caffè misto standing awkwardly while he sips at his beverage and hopes for something, _anything_ to happen. And then it happens, Cas makes room for him so he can sit too. Good thing this place is casual, with not only wooden seats, but also old comfy chairs and puffs.

Cas and Dean sharing a comfy chair side by side isn't as cozy as it should be. One has to sit in the front not being able to recline, while the other is squeezed in the back struggling each time he approaches the coffee table in search of something to entertain his teeth with.

More people are making their way inside the surfeited shop. The girl with the yellow hat keeps herself busy with her goddamn phone, it's new and the screen's already got scratches. Her eyes never leave Castiel for more than two minutes; of course Cas ignores all of these vain attempts to catch his interest. When he's submerged in a story there's no way of getting him out, unless your name's Dean Winchester that is.

Dean's gaze lingers over the girl, possessive boyfriend mode activated. She stares back at him with her steely incredible dark eyes, a challenge. _Who the hell does she think she is?_

The girl looks at Castiel and takes off her scarf revealing a pale neck, elegant and feminine. Cocking her head in what has to be the most irritating way she surveys her view and waits until Castiel places his cup of caffè misto back on the table. Clumsily on purpose she gets up making the hot beverage spill itself on the woody surface.

Thank God Dean has good reflexes. He alerts Castiel and tugs him closer preventing the burning liquid to cover Castiel. Cas widens his eyes for less than half a second, then laughs softly and for the first time sights the girl with a silly smile playing on her lips.

"I'm sorry" she says, faking repentance and placing a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Oh, don't worry" his smile is broader than usual, and Dean starts to worry. That smile is reserved for special occasions, he knows it well. It's not typical of Cas to give them away, not to common people, and most certainly not to stupid brunettes with cell phone addictions.

Cas hand lands on Dean's knee to steady himself before going back to order another cup of coffee. Dean tries not to overthink, that's never done any good to him before, he succumbs to his jealousy and is about to warn the girl to back off when Cas' steps are echoing in his ears and soon the boy with blue eyes and permanent sex hair is back. He's changed his drink, it's no longer caffè misto, but Dean has no idea what it may be.

Castiel leans over one side of Dean's chair and studies the girl with curious scrutiny.

"What's your name, handsome?" asks the brunette shamelessly, inclining forwards to show what little cleavage she has.

"Castiel" his response is polite enough but it isn't very friendly. Cas is no good with strangers.

"My name's Meg. Meg Masters" Cas supposes the girl expects her name to ring a bell in him but he has no clue who she is, watching her is funny, she's funny. "And tell me, _Castiel" _the name rolls hatefully down her tongue, like she's savoring each letter "do your friends often call you baby, or is it just him?" her chin lifts and points at Dean, a mock in her eyes, a sneer in her smile.

"Oh" Cas looks down at Dean as if remembering his presence long ago forgotten. Dean looks up at Cas, a pleading? in his eyes, puppy eyes, searching for reassurance. Cas' fingers stroke Dean's hair, fumbling and playing with it. "This here is Dean, and no, my friends most certainly don't call me _baby_, only my boyfriend does"

Dean's smile of triumph could not be any more huge, he's about to laugh at the girl or something but he feels a weight on top of him.

As Dean had occupied the entirety of the chair by the time Cas got back, Castiel decided to sit on Dean's lap and throw an arm around his neck inhaling his favorite scent in the world, Dean.

Meg stares in disbelief as Dean leans up and locks his lips with the other boy's. She clears her throat various times trying to make them stop, but each time she does it, they suck each other more vigorously. Hair pulling, hard breathing, disclosed moans, and quieted whimpers are all Dean and Cas are.

Cas loses himself in the taste of chocolate Dean's tongue has, rubbing his own tongue against Dean's teeth and holding his face trying to pull him closer and closer.

Dean can feel the strength of the kiss; Cas is dragging him as if by gravitational force. Dean bites Cas' lower lip with pressure enough to extract a moan from the back of Cas' throat but not enough to hurt him in any way.

"GET A ROOM OR GET OUT!" yells a female voice, she must be the cashier.

Whoever she is, she makes her message clear. No blazing kisses with groping involved inside her shop. Fine.

Dean and Cas break up their smooch, and start laughing as soon as the meet each other's eyes. A tired sigh escapes the woman who formerly yelled at them.

"Not that I'm complaining, but… what was all that about, Cas?"

"Oh, someone needed to teach that Meg girl a lesson" a self-satisfied expression dawning on him.

_The son of a bitch knew, he knew! _"Is that so?" Dean hugs Cas pressing his face to Cas' shoulder. He feels the other nod affirmative "Is only your boyfriend allowed to call you baby?"

"Oh, yes. But I fear I'm not the only one, he's got this car. He called her baby first; I'm actually a bit jealous"

Dean laughs "Stupid, angel. You're both my babies, but you get more benefits than her" He glances quickly to where the cashier stands, she's busy with a new wave of cold clients; Cas is trapped once more by the moisturized lips of Dean.

* * *

It was Christmas's Eve and Castiel felt alone and not cheerful at all. Though the house was decorated as one from a magazine, with wreaths, stockings, candy canes, lights, and the traditional Christmas tree, towering over a pile of presents, Castiel wasn't feeling the magic of it. When his parents were alive, Castiel, as being the only son, was the one in charge of all the decorations, he helped his mother cooking and his father putting the lights outside the house.

They were very close, and when Cas realized this was truly Christmas and not just another unimportant holiday, he felt a sting in his eyes. He would have to spend his Christmas with a family he barely knew, in a place where he didn't belong, apart from his boyfriend, and as an orphan. Fucking great.

Dean had done a damn fine job hanging up the lights and adornments which were needed to make the house look wonderful and transmitting some Christmas spirit. His mind never leaving Castiel. He wondered if Cas was having a good time, and he wished he could be right now with him, but Cas was having an all-Novak-Christmas.

True, they lived less than five minutes to each other, yet being together on holidays would push their relationship another step forward. Even though Cas was well known by Mary and Sam –John had never met him properly, other than the time Cas helped Dean dragging John and leaving him on the couch semi-unconscious. Dean had gone from dead pale to bright scarlet, refusing to look at Cas and feeling the weight of John's idiocy like a stab in the heart, God hated him, if there was one. Dean's first thought that was Cas was gonna run away like a madman and get the hell outta there after ditching him, never to come back. Instead Cas was very understanding.

"_Is he going to be okay?" asked Castiel, his voice a whisper, as if John could wake up in his used up state._

"_Yeah, he… It's a bit of a habit for him… us." Looking up, hurt hidden in the green of his pupils, Dean ran his hand through his hair "Look, Cas… I'm sorry. My father, he's…"_

"_No." his voice came out harsher than he had plan, it was no longer a whisper._

"_What? Cas, you don't understand, man" Dean gazed rapidly to the place his father is laid on, snoring, oblivious to the world._

"_Dean, I understand everything there is to understand" Cas' blue eyes pierced Dean, a supportive hand placed upon his shoulder._

_Dean knew Cas really understood; Cas knew Dean's drunk father wasn't something ephemeral, or fleeting. And beyond that, there was really nothing else to understand._

The ambience in the Novak residence was oppressive, merry but oppressive. Cas went down at about 5pm, he had to be grateful for what was offered to him, but being there with all that people, it felt, well… comfortless.

All the eight members of the Novak family were gathered at the living room in what could be classified as a Family Game Night. For being a family of grown-ups the Novaks were still pretty close and still participants of such characteristic diversions families have.

"I'm out" said Lucifer, handing some cards to Anna. Apparently they had being playing in teams.

"Hey! Don't bail on me, Lucifer!" grumbled the redhead, aiming a cushion in his direction.

"Sorry. Too dexterous to waste my time with amateurs." Said he, getting up from the couch and heading for the kitchen, on his way there he more or less toppled over Castiel.

"Sorry" replied Cas sheepishly, he never knew how he felt when Lucifer was near him.

"Oh, don't worry, Castiel. I was a little too distracted I fear" although he was smiling and being amiable, there was something unsettling in his manners. One never knew what to expect with him.

Lucifer started striding towards the kitchen, and as Castiel had nothing else to do, and not wanting to interrupt the family game being obtrusive, he followed the young man.

Lucifer offered Castiel a glass after pouring the orange juice, the former hadn't taste it yet, his hands were gripping the counter behind him, and his head was angled to one side; his smile, evil smile that is, holding back the words he wanted to say so badly, but he couldn't refrain himself allowing his verbiage commence.

"How are you, Castiel?" his voice a dangerous purr.

"Uh… fine. I guess." Cas knew there were hidden intentions, Lucifer always had them, whether they were to punish, mock, or gain something for himself, there were always unclear aims.

"Oh, come on. There's no need for you to feign with me. I know, Castiel. I know how difficult it must be. Here we are, entertaining ourselves with some innocent board games on Christmas Eve, and we don't even stop to think about the pain we must be causing you, dear cousin." Finally he drank some of his juice, and grimaced as he gulped it down "This is crap"

Castiel eyed him suspiciously; he knew were his cousin was heading, and damn, he needn't be reminded of his misfortunes.

"When you came here to live in our house, my parents weren't sure you'd fit in, I think they still aren't sure. Not that I can blame them, no way. Maybe it's just because you're a bit of an outcast. Not that that's a bad thing" he grabbed Cas shoulders trying to demonstrate some kind of shitty compassion "Castiel, after all you have had to go through we cannot expect you to be on cloud nine. It's okay if you want time alone, to reconcile with yourself, make amends." Cas was feeling the blood boiling in his veins, his eyes furious, but he was immovable, didn't even blinking.

"Castiel" Lucifer continued "Christmas is a time for family, and you know you can count with us. We are your new family, we are a nice replacement I believe" said he chuckling, as if any shit that was coming out of his mouth was funny "Your parents being deceased, we were the best choice, we still are. You feel like you don't belong here, right? Well, then maybe it's because you don't, and please note here that I'm not kicking you out, I'd never do such a thing. But reality is you don't. Your place is in Illinois, with your dead parents. Maybe you should go back someday, return to your origins?"

Castiel brushed off the remaining hand of Lucifer from his shoulder, his stare blazing.

"Hey! I'm not trying to make you feel uninvited, you're most welcomed here. I was just pointing out the facts you're too scared to face, your _demons_."

"Fuck you" said Cas, voice grave and fists clenched. He rushed out of the kitchen, but there wasn't space to distance himself from Lucifer enough inside the house, so he grabbed his coat perched on the way out ignoring Camille's voice.

The wind was stinging, cold needles piercing his face, and dampening his hair. His nose wasn't feeling all too well, and the sky was already dark. The howls of the breeze were distracting, but staring at his shoes walking in unknown directions wasn't fun after minutes in which the wintry climate had make effect on him.

The only place he wanted to be was in Dean's arms, that would be the only place in which he could find comfort. The conversation he'd had with Lucifer still ringing in his ears. What upset him the most wasn't the scathing intention the words were spoken, what hurt was that they were true. Every single thing the odious Lucifer had said, it was all true. The veracity of it pained him.

After not being able to bare the crudity of Mother Nature anymore, Castiel found his way to Dean's house. It looked as a Christmas postcard, with the snow covering the roof and everything else, a snowman had been built, sporting a funny nose; the lights were dashing and the wreath hanging on the door was merry.

After a modest hesitation, Castiel knocked on the door half expecting it to never open, and the other half of him hoping for Dean to save him from his fears by casting some magic on him, whatever helped.

Neither happened. The door was opened after some seconds. John Winchester, apparently sober, was the one to greet him, a curt nod which meant Castiel was permitted to state the reason of his presence. Maybe visiting Dean and disrupting his precious family time wasn't a good idea.

"Is Dean home?" he was nervous, how could he not? It was the very first time he'd seen John sober, the first time talking to him, his father-in-law. Maybe the man didn't even know, better to keep it a surreptitious then.

The man surveyed the boy carefully, he was about to respond when the door opened wider, a handsome blonde woman with a perfect smile emerged.

"Castiel!" she cried out, stepping out of the house to enfold the boy in a bound clasp. She smelled of flowers and spring.

"Who is this?" asked John, not being rude but sounding just as that.

"Are you here to see Dean, sweetie?" said Mary, ignoring completely John's presence, let alone his remark.

"Yes, Mrs. Winchester" his voice little and nervous.

"Come on in! Don't want you to get frozen" said the lovely woman laughing warmly, taking hold of Cas' shoulder and directing him inside.

The inside was just as adorned as the outside; stockings, garlands crammed with festive ornaments, little Santas and Snowmen all over the place, and a tall Christmas tree with a little train circling it harmoniously.

"Wait here, I'll get him" said Mary, shoving Cas into the couch and speaking to John a few words before going upstairs.

The waiting time was awkward. John sat on his brown leather chair, never taking off his eyes of Castiel, he spoke no words, nothing, just looking at him like he was the ultimate mystery there was to discover.

"Cas!" his voice was like balm to Castiel. He sounded cheery, and surprised, and self-satisfied.

Their relationship wasn't known to their families so none of their usual hellos were acceptable. Dean got nervous when he noticed the presence of his father, studying Castiel as if the latter was a specimen in danger of extinction.

"Will you stay for dinner, Castiel?" asked Mary, dissolving the discomfort of the moment.

"Thank you Mrs. Winchester, but I can't. I just came to talk with Dean, I won't stay too long"

"Oh, take all the time you need. I'm gonna go finish preparing the dinner. John, I need your help" Her last words were spoken with authority. That was practically the kind of relationship those two had. When John was sober, Mary was the one in control, she'd make the decisions, and John would always agree. Even when he was drunk, Mary had taken the authority long ago.

They left –John, reluctantly—leaving the two boys alone in the Christmas themed room. The fireplace was hypnotizing; no wonder Cas lost himself watching it.

"Cas? You alright?" Dean was much closer now, he was worried.

"Can we talk? Outside?" Dean blinked a few times; outside was chilly, not pleasant at all. But Cas wouldn't have asked it if he didn't need it, so Dean nodded in agreement. He picked a coat on his way out.

Castiel had no idea how to approach the reason he was here, he didn't know if he wanted to talk about it. Perhaps he was being foolish and childish, he needn't to worry Dean about anything, and there was no reason to burden him with nonexistent problems, dead problems.

They sat on the stairs of the porch, their bodies pressed against each other's and their eyes staring straight ahead. Eventually Dean took a fleeting look at Cas, he was itching to cuddle with Castiel, just the two of them, the fireplace and a warm blanket covering their frames.

"What's up with the trench coat?" said Dean in an attempt to break the ice.

Cas looked down as if noticing for the first time he was wearing it. "It was the first I could grab"

"I like it" Dean answered. He did. The tan trench coat made Cas look smaller, but he looked cute.

Some minutes passed, Dean decided to let the silence settle heavy between them. If Cas had come here under the snow there was a reason, and there was no way on Earth Dean would force Cas into anything.

"Dean, I…" Cas started, but he couldn't continue. His voice was drowned by soft whimpers. Tears falling heavy on his colored cheeks.

Dean held him as best as he could, offering comfort by rocking back and forth in hopes the movement would tranquillize the boy. He could feel his own eyes sting, and a heavy weight settling inside his chest.

Castiel could feel the wet drops of salty liquid emanating from his eyes, but that was just a consequence, what he really felt was the emptiness in his breast, like something had been taken from him, a physical part of him. He knew it couldn't be like that, but all the same, the ache wouldn't let him go.

He sobbed as if he was a lost child in the middle of the ocean and clung to Dean as if he were the last bit of hope, his only chance to survive. He had been right, Dean's arms felt like home. Home in Christmas Eve? He was using Dean as a Kleenex on Christmas Eve? What kind of boyfriend he was?

"I'm sorry, Dean. I'm so…"

"Shh… It's okay, baby, it's okay" He patted Cas' head, and kissed him on the forehead. He wiped off Cas' tears with his thumb. Cas' eyes were puffy and bloodshot, his lashes were drenched and for Dean it was almost too painful to bare. He had to be the strong one, for Cas. He needed Cas to know he was there for him, a solid pillar, not a crumbling wall.

Cas looked at him as if he were the worthiest person on Earth, like he didn't deserve something so wonderful and ideal. The distress on Cas' face was evident, his gaze glossy once more, he tried to speak but each time he made the effort, the words would choke in his throat. Apologizing ogle asking Dean for forgiveness.

After what felt like eternity Dean had managed to calm down Cas to the point his sobbing and streaming tears turned into soft whimpers and sopping eyes.

"I needed someone.. _you_" said Cas, justifying his actions.

"Cas, you know I'm here for when you need me, right?" Dean lifted Cas' chin locking their gazes in that intense way of theirs. "Wanna tell me what upset you? Mhmm?" his voice was genteel, not asking or demanding.

"I… The reason I m-moved here. My parents… they died." His voice broke on that last word. Dean held him closer letting Cas know he was there and he wasn't going anywhere.

"Dean I'm… I'm not okay. I've been trying to ease the pain ever since it… it happened and I don't… I've been numb all this time and now I… my family they're not not mine. My parents are no longer with me… neither my friends, and here… I've got nothing, Dean!" Dean knew he could no nothing else other than try to soothe him so he didn't speak, he wouldn't judge or say a single thing about it unless Cas wanted him to.

"I feel so, so empty inside. I-I don't… there are days I can't—no… I don't want to, to get up. I'm numb… I just feel every-" he sighed trying to regain some breath to continue " Everything is just not what it should!" Dean had never lost someone; he couldn't understand what Cas was going through, but all the same the words Cas was saying, they made Dean feel useless and as if he were nothing to Cas. He hated himself for just thinking about their relationship when obviously Cas needed him to console him.

"I don't fit in this place or in Pontiac anymore. I'm lost and and living with my cousins it isn't… what I was… I cannot bare the idea that my parents are both gone, I… they were so good to me, and I never appreciated them as I should have. Dean, I… I don't know what to d-do"

Dean knew Cas had never told him the whole truth about him moving to Lawrence, he supposed it had something to do with his parents but he never dared ask.

"Cas, I'm sorry, baby. I'm so so sorry, about your parents" _How do you comfort someone who means so much to you? This sounds meaningless!_

Cas was now serene, his expression blank, but the remains of his grief were still pretty obvious.

"I know it's hard. For you. Uh… uh, I just… I'm here, okay? And don't say you don't belong here, Cas, don't say that to me. Please. You are very important to me, hell, you're the most important person in my _life_, Cas." Now it was his turn to feel the pain searing his heart.

"Dean" Cas understood how he must have sounded, and _did he really had to make everything worse?_

"No, listen to me, please" Dean took both of Cas' hands in his own, then looked up back again at the rueful expression drawn on Cas' face. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't want you to feel like this, Cas, and you don't think twice about it if you need me. I'm here for you, all yours. It's not… I'm your boyfriend Cas and…" he looked up at the dark winter sky, the blue eyes that acknowledged him were warm yet pained.

"I love you, Cas" Dean was surprised, not because of what he'd just said, but because the words rolled off his tongue so easily, so natural.

Cas, at first, wasn't sure if he'd listen right, but once his mind gears turned and he comprehended the meaning of those three words, and the sincerity of Dean's heart, a warm wave coated him. His eyes started leaking again, but this time the feeling of uneasiness was gone, all that what's left was the happiness and the lovingness he was experimenting.

"I love you too, Dean."

Cas didn't care they were outside Dean's house, he needed Dean like a thirsty man needs water. The moment his lips made contact with Dean's he knew things would be okay. He realized then that not everything he had said was true. Yes he felt numb and empty, most of the time. But when he was with Dean the grayness of his gloomy world would go all shades of glee and bliss. When he was with Dean he felt whole.

Mary was watching from the window, she didn't think it was a good idea for the boys to be outside when the temperature had dropped like that. She felt lighthearted when she saw Dean hugging Cas, and surprised when they kissed.

Truth to be told she was delighted. From the moment she met Castiel Novak she knew he wasn't just a friend, he was so much more than that to Dean. It hurt a little the lack of confidence her son had in her. He had keep it a secret all that time, but she knew how young kids feel, so she didn't blame him, how could she?

"You sure you're not joining us for dinner?" asked Mary when Dean and Cas got back inside. Cas had been crying, she could tell. Dean had cried too by the looks of it.

"I think I'd like to join you, Mrs. Winchester. If that's okay" she smiled gracefully and headed to the dining room, John and Sam were already there.

Dean shot a glance at Cas and smiled because he'd told Cas he loved him, and Cas loved him, too. Christmas was definitely a time for family.

* * *

**I know it looks like the story ended, but not yet, there's more story to be told! Review pleaseee**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the delay, guys. I spent my free days watching SPN xd**

**Enjoy and review!**

* * *

The pale winter sun shone through the old Victorian windows illuminating the small room and drawing away the shadows of the night. On the single bed a boy of seventeen slept with relish, the delicate movements of his eyelids revealing the mental existence of a dream about to die. The sunlight licking his young features and warming his face pleasantly.

The alarm clock started to ring in that harassing and irritating way they do, stirring the doze of the dark haired boy. He opened his eyes and blue irises greeted the new day, the first day of the New Year.

Castiel turned off the alarm and sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows on top of his knees and both his hands covering his face as he sighed heavily. He wasn't by any means a morning person.

Cas smiled as the memories of the past night came back to him. He had had dinner with Dean's family, except for John, who had been supposedly working until very late. Of course everybody knew that John Winchester wouldn't miss New Year's celebration for work, and nobody commented that.

The evening was consumed amid laughter and anecdotes. Thanks to those stories Castiel learned that when Dean was little he wanted to be a fireman, that the amulet he always carried around his neck was given by Sam and he never, _never_ took it off, that Dean's everlasting devotion for pie had started when he was about five when Mary decided to do something with the excess of apples her father had given her as a gift (the apple trees decided to be over productive), but most important of all was the fact that Dean had basically raised Sam by the time John's drinking got worse and Mary worked two jobs in order to keep the bills at rest.

The absence of Mr. Winchester had been a blessing for Castiel. It wasn't that he disliked the man, he barely even knew him from what Dean had indulged to speak, but he suspected an air of rivalry or defiance directed at him.

From the first time he'd seen John sober Cas knew the man wasn't an easy person, he was, from the looks of it, a person difficult to please, a person one had to compliment to get any sign of approval, and Castiel knew from the moment John Winchester opened the door that he needed to get this man to like him, or at least tolerate him. He required to be accepted for who he was before dropping the big bomb.

When the clock announced it was ten o'clock Castiel had to retire, he was expected in his house to celebrate the welcome of the New Year. He thanked Mary for everything and she kissed him lightly on the cheek asking him to return as soon as he could.

"_I got something for you" said Dean after breaking a long, open-mouthed kiss and reaching for a box inside the glove compartment. "It's uhh—" he wasn't looking Cas right in the eye and the box kept passing from one hand to the other "I thought it was time for you to get one so… here" _

_Cas was certainly intrigued, he never thought Dean would get him a present, not because he believed Dean to be inattentive but rather because Dean never showed any signs of being a person who cared for the material, he was much more emotional and maudlin than he'd ever admit._

"_There was no need, Dean" said Cas, a smile printed on his features, and his nose crinkled. He took the wrapped box and started to open it with serenity and contentment._

"_Come on, Cas! You're slower than a friggin' turtle, man" said Dean amused at the parsimonious method Cas was using, unsticking the straps of tape as if each one of them deserved some kind of divine worship._

"_I don't want to ruin the paper, Dean" answered Cas focused on his task._

"_Cas, the paper isn't important… could you, please, open the damn box already?" Dean was growing impatient and Cas was way too retailer._

"_Fine. If you're so impatient" the wrappings were torn out in a very short time. Castiel opened the plain white box discovering a cell phone, a black HTC One X to be more specific. "Wow!" was all he managed to say before starting the process of thorough examination of the device._

"_You like it?" asked Dean, his smile at seeing Cas so astonished could light up the freezing night. _

_Cas nodded vigorously rising his head and meeting Dean's sprightly eyes, to later attack the second in an unyielding enfold and say 'thank you, thank you, thank you' against Dean's leather jacket inhaling his scent and kissing without care his neck._

"_Calm your horses, cowboy!" choked Dean attempting to extricate himself from Cas' assault and failing epically as the blue eyes boy decided to tickle him causing his eyes to water tears of joy._

"_Thanks!" remarked Cas holding the cell phone in both his hands, and Dean would be lying if he said he'd seen anything cuter._

"_Now you've got no excuse to ignore me" _

"_You know I never disregard you" Cas had that tendency to be very literal when talking, even more when comprehending what people told him. Dean shook his head diverted._

"_I bought you something for Christmas but it's in my room. I forgot" Cas' look was somewhat solemn and remorseful._

"_It's fine. You can give it to me the next year" that comment earned Dean a low chuckle from Cas. The Impala's windshield began to collect snowflakes announcing that a new snowfall was coming._

_Dean started the engine once more, they had parked the car a street away from Cas' house._

"_I'll see you next year then" said Cas when they approached his residence. He really, really didn't want to leave Dean's side yet, but he knew he was expected in his house. Family gathering and all of that._

"_Hey, hey, hey, are you gonna leave without a proper goodbye?" Dean's smile was cocky and frisky._

"_Oh… right" replied Cas offering his hand, his smugness evident._

"_Oh c'mere, you idiot" Dean grabbed the neck of Cas' pale blue sweater to pull him into a kiss that rose the temperature several degrees._

"_I have to go, you know" Cas mumbled after catching his breath._

_Dean huffed in disagreement but releasing Cas' lips after giving him one last peck._

The buzz of his new cell phone distracted him from his train of thoughts. Castiel yawned and stretched his limbs; his eyes were rubbed to help him awake a little bit more.

**Good morning, angel.**It was a text message, from Dean obviously. Nobody else had his number yet. Those three words made Castiel firmly believe this was gonna be his best year yet.

**Hello, beautiful. **Cas felt a little silly. Calling Dean beautiful face to face was something that always made him feel self-conscious, but he needed Dean to know how wonderful he was, and every time that word came out of his mouth Dean rewarded him making him feel butterflies in his belly.

The HTC began ringing. Cas hadn't had time to change it into something less wearisome than the default tone it had come with.

Dean's voice sounded raspy and rough, there was no doubt he'd just woken up. It made Cas' heart flap to think that he was the first thing Dean thought about when he started a new day.

They talk and talk, both now whispering for it was yet early and the walls were thin. After some thirty minutes the call ended. Their chat was majorly about what had happened and what their plans would be for what very little remained of the Holiday vacations.

* * *

When Castiel entered the kitchen the familiar image of his cousins eating breakfast and his aunt, Camille cooking while talking animatedly and mainly with Gabriel received him. This was a sight he was always grateful for. The vista of his new family sharing something as simple as a breakfast was enough to lighten his spirits.

"Happy New Year, Castiel" said a sleepy Samandiriel. His eyes inflated with the traces of a heavy sleep. He had gone to bed at nine claiming the New Year could bite him in the ass if it wanted.

Castiel responded with the same greeting. He went to sit at a stool at the counter next to Anna, avoiding Gabe's side. The blonde guy was ingesting chocolate waffles with eagerness and munching rather rude.

"Are you up for some toasts and eggs?" asked the ever charming Camille. It wasn't much of a question as she had already placed a dish with such contents in front of Castiel.

"Where were you last night, young man? I had no chance to wish you a Happy New Year" Balthazar sat next to Cas, a glass of eggnog in his hand.

"At a friend's house" said Castiel, a mouthful of food threatening to choke him.

"Were you at Dean's?" asked Anna, and Castiel was sure she was the most inopportune and inappropriate girl.

Castiel kept eating just nodding enough to make his answer clear but avoiding to look too happy about it.

"When are you going to introduce us to that boyfriend of yours?" inquired Balthazar taking a big bite of his banana muffin freshly baked.

Castiel's throat constricted denying his food to pass and forcing him to cough more than a few times to clear his windpipe. His eyes were teary from the previous incident and his face had gone ruby red.

He could hear the loud laughing of various people. Sure, what a good way to start the New Year, being the laughing stock of his family. _Fantastic._

"He's not… he's not my _boyfriend"_ his heart clenched at stating that false decree. Denying Dean was never part of his plans but Dean had asked for time and discretion, and their relationship was very new too, so he had consented Dean's request without second thought.

"Who's the lucky guy?" Michael came to pat Cas' shoulder, his gaze directed entirely to Balthazar. He was curious, not in an I'll-kick-your-ass-if-he's-not-what-a-Novak's-boyfriend-is-expect-to-be way, he was merely intrigued.

"Dean Winchester" Samandiriel's voice came from the corner of where his booth was located. His voice serene and flat, there was no real emotion there, as if he were lifeless.

"SAMANDIRIEL!" it was Cas first instinct to yell at Samandiriel's unfavorable response but when all eyes turn to look at him wide open, and even some mouths made an o form, he knew he had proceeded in the most stupid way.

"And who is this Dean Winchester? Do I know him?" Zachariah's stare was cautious and dubious, surveying Cas as if that could get him a notion of Cas' supposed boyfriend.

"He's a classmate of Cas'" retorted Uriel, and_ when the hell had he joined the conversation_?

"I hope he's worthy of you, Castiel. It'd pain me to see you with someone who has no right to even call himself an acquaintance of yours" Castiel averted ferocity in those grayish blue eyes of his uncle.

"Oh, he _is_ worthy, dad, although I had no idea he was gay" commented Anna chewing her Cheerios.

"Being gay does not denigrate people, Anna" Michael stated in his disapproving tone. Lucifer and Samandiriel murmured their conformity with their older brother's opinion.

"I know, I know! God! But it surely becomes a problem if a guy is just willing to get cock instead of pussy"

"ANNA!" shouted some of the members of the family at the bluntness and explicit manners of the young girl.

Camille was by far the most affected by her daughter's words, she disliked the vulgar usage of language and being a witness of Anna's speaking habits made her mood go red. "You're grounded, lady! I didn't teach you those manners, Anna. And be completely sure you are NOT hanging out anymore with those friends of yours, that Meg and that Ruby. I forbid you of seeing them anymore, they're such a bad influence on you and you don't even notice what harms they're doing you." Anna rolled her eyes, the rest of the family remained on mute "I don't want them near you, do you hear me?" Camille's face was red and Anna's was paler than usual, her fingers grasping the spoon fiercely "DO YOU HEAR ME?"

"_Yes_, mother" replied the redhead. She abandoned the kitchen in a rage leaving her Cheerios almost untouched.

"She's such a mean child, Zack, and it is your fault!" Camille was pointing her finger at her husband.

"My… my fault?!" Zachariah was surprised and offended at Camille's accusation.

"It's you who always let her get away with what she wants, you stupid old man!"

"No, no, and no! And if we're talking about ages here then you should—"

"Shut your mouth, Zack. We aren't discussing my age!" her hand on her chest trying to settle down the velocity of her heartbeats.

"You're the one who spend all your time babysitting the kids!"

"Babysit? That's what I am to you, a babysitter?"

"Your activities encompass that basically, so yes. You're a babysitter, and by the looks of it, a bad one"

Lucifer and Samandiriel abandoned the scene by sneaking through the back door. The others weren't so close the exit but started making their way out by the main entrance. Castiel was the first one, deciding that was his best shot to escape the picture unnoticed.

Cas believed it a miracle. Anna's raw reply and the argument between Zachariah and Camille had drifted the attention away from him. Perhaps this year was going to be better after all.

* * *

After a week of dull classes, Castiel was wishing the free days could come back. He missed the carefree state in which he'd lived, and all the time he spent with Dean, whether talking on the phone or being physically with him. He missed waking up when he felt like it and he missed saying up late without other reason than he wanted to, and he could so he did.

"Do not disregard next week's essay, chaps! Keep your pecker up and _behave _during the weekend, please" said Crowley as the students began to dismiss the classroom.

"I swear that man gets more English each day" said Dean to Cas after they left Crowley's classroom. Cas snickered, he also believed Crowley to be turning more British with the pass of the days, but he had another theory for it.

"Maybe it's because of the books we've been reading. Too much English classic literature I'd say" he opened his locker depositing some books and extracting some others.

"Maybe. Hey, do you have an extra pencil? I have math test and I brought none" Cas shook his head censuring Dean's lack of school supplies. He never had pencils, or eraser. Never.

"I'm gonna have to buy you at least twelve pencils, Dean. I sincerely have no idea how you manage to lose them all." Cas handed him two #2 yellow pencils, a sharpener and a new eraser. Dean always thanked Cas' undying supply of school materials.

"I'm too good to deny someone my pencils, Cas." Said Dean jokingly.

"_My_ pencils, you mean. Not yours."

"Yeah, that" the hallway was vacated now, people had ran to their last classes leaving them alone. Dean leaned closer to Cas but the latter pushed him gently with a hand on his chest.

"I have class" Dean was insistent "And so do you"

"Right"

"Dean… your test" Dean was somehow mesmerized watching Castiel. Cas shook his hand in front of Dean trying to get him out of his trance but the taller boy was still lost in his daydream. "Dean… go. Test. Math… GO!"

At Cas' yell Dean emerged from the hallucination he was having. He waved Cas a goodbye and trotted down the corridor towards the Math classroom aware he was already late.

Lately he could get easily get distracted whenever he was talking to Cas. Ever since they were together Dean felt as if he belonged to Cas and vice versa. He wanted Castiel, every inch of him, but so far their physical contact had been limited to delicious kisses and clothed groping. He'd never felt that skin to skin bare contact he so desperately ached for. Every time he saw Cas he wanted to undress the boy and eat him in the most passionate and shameless ways, doing things he never expected to want before, but now he did. Cas' intense stare was an invitation, his lips the downfall of a chain of delectable sins of lust and greed.

Every night before sleeping, when his eyes were closed and his mind was thinking of the boy who had stolen his sanity and heart, Dean's whole body burn with wanton, his dick would claim some recognition he happily gave. His hand would go downwards and the touch would increase his half erection.

Cas eyes would, at first, disapprove of such behavior, but then a mischievous smile would play with him and Dean's hand was no longer his, it was Cas'. Cas lips also had a part to play in Dean's fantasies, but after jerking himself off Dean would acknowledge he still wasn't ready for that, as much as he wanted it. Sex with girls was easy, maybe with guys it was too, but Cas? Cas was a whole new level of everything for Dean. He wasn't just a one night stand, or a boy he could use to satisfy himself whenever he wanted. Cas was Cas, and he needed to be completely sure he was all in it for him. And that Cas was in it for him, too. It had to be mutual and perfect, no mistakes were allowed.

The bell rang and the weekend began.

Sam was waiting for Dean at the entrance, Cas joined them soon after. The air was cold and the snow had just fallen. The students all wore coats, and some wore gloves and hats. It was a chaos to pick up the students and the school buses made their stops even longer causing disconformities amongst the other drivers.

The Impala was covered by some snow, though it was not abundant. Dean warmed up the car a little and started the heater so the temperature would rise up some degrees.

The roads possessed that tranquility of a winter's day, the naked trees greeting them from each side of the streets and the low hum of rock reverberating in the inside of the car.

"We should go ice skating" said Cas when they were four blocks away from his house.

Sam shifted in the back of the car, his excitement was evident, and the two boys in the front could actually fill it blowing out of his pores.

"That's be awesome, Cas. I haven't gone ice skating in a long time, isn't that right, Sammy?" Dean was enthusiastic as well but he was much more successful at hiding his eagerness than his younger brother.

"Yeah! It's a shame there isn't a proper ice rink here in Lawrence"

"Oh, I think a lake will do just fine" said Cas, he liked lakes better than rinks, there was something more private and charming about them. "They are less communal and offer more confidentiality"

"Oh… oh" Sam's voice was stiff and weary "So I'm _not_ invited, guys?"

"What? Why?" asked Dean, how could Sam get to that conclusion, honestly?

"Well, I guess that's a date or something of that sort, I don't know. I f I went I'd be the third wheel and it'd be awkward"

Dean could feel his face heating up, and he noticed Cas' cheeks were blushed, his nose was also reddish though that could be ascribed to the cold weather. He wasn't sure of how to proceed next, was Cas really asking him out on a date, or was it just to hang out, Sam included?

Whether it was or wasn't a date he'd accept, but how to respond to Sam? The kid knew they were more than friends, he even knew before Dean so it'd be stupid to deny that they were indeed going out, but Dean hadn't officially outed himself to any member of his family, or any of his other friends at school, it was just he and Cas. That complicated things.

Castiel perceived Dean's dilemma and went to his rescue as best as he could. "It's not a date, Sam. It's just ice skating" he smiled at the end of his words trying to reassure Sam that if he decided to come he wouldn't be the third wheel or any of that.

"You sure? I seriously don't wanna be there if you two start sucking each other's faces" they were now before Cas' house. Winter looked good on that house; it made it seem as if it was something taken out of a fairytale.

"Completely"

"Cool" Sam returned to his videogame almost immediately, buttons were pushed violently, apparently he was winning.

"I'll call you" said Dean to Cas bringing his hand to his ear gesturing a telephone. Cas was already out of the car and winked at him, Dean's smile could not be any wider.

* * *

Dean woke up early the next day with a firm resolution on his mind. That day was the day he'd tell Sam about his relationship with Cas, and to be honest he felt a little dizzy and nervous about the whole thing.

He was being stupid, he knew that far too well. In Sam's eye he and Cas had been dating since they had met, Dean liked the fact that his little brother could be so open-minded and non-judgemental, but he was terrified about his performance. He could be really dim when it came to express his ideas in a clear way.

He made his way to Sam's bedroom after brushing his teeth and washing his face with cold water. The door was closed but it wasn't locked. Sam was snoring softly, his body facing down and his hair a mess of brown locks. He had grown during the last year but Dean still was the taller brother, little did he knew how things were about to change when it came to his brother's height.

Dean sat on the edge of the bed and touched Sam's shoulder blade stirring him to wake him up. Luckily Sam's sleep wasn't heavy. His eyes went open in a second and he threw a pillow at Dean for scaring him.

"What the hell, Dean?" his voice groggy with sleep.

"I need to tell you something, Sammy" Dean lowered his gaze and started playing with the sheets.

"Is this about Dad eating your reserved pie? 'Cause that's got nothing to do with me…"

"No, Sam, it's not about that." His voice was high pitched and he hated himself for it, why was it so hard for him to say something his brother already knew? Was he so much of a coward?

"Spit it out, jerk" Sam propped in his elbows to lift himself a little so he was half lying and half sat.

"It's about… you know, uhh me?... and Cas?" slowly, a pinkish color spread all over his face giving him a vulnerable aspect as if he were a little child caught after breaking a vase; the point of his ears were scarlet and he could feel his throat tightening.

"You guys are okay?" he was concerned, Sam was a real supporter of his brother's relationship with Castiel, and he could find no signs of something which could've triggered harm on their relationship.

"No… I mean, yes. We're fine… Ahh, what I want to say is that we're more than fine, we… well I guess you already know but, I-I wanted to tell you. Cas and I…" he coughed to continue "Cas and I, we are not, uh… not _just _friends, Sammy." _That's got to do it._

"So? You thought I was so blind, Dean? Of course you aren't _just_ friends; nobody could ever think that after spending thirty seconds with you two making eyes at each other" Sam's worry had ceded territory to irritation. _Did he really wake me up to tell me that, on a Saturday morning?!_

"Uhh, is it… is it that obvious? I mean, I'm not a chick, you cannot say I'm feminine just because I happen to like Cas. We're not like that, okay? We—"

"Dean, shut up! I get it, you like Cas. It's fine. I don't care. Now get out, I need to sleep" Sam shoved Dean out of his bed. The second was about to close the door when Sam called his name again. "Oh, and by the way, I'm not going to your date today. Have fun" and with that he fell asleep, the mop of his hair a tangled mess, and his mouth parted.

* * *

"I'm going out!" announced Castiel taking two stairs at a time. He was almost in the foyer when he heard Camille's voice.

"Where are you going?" she wasn't angry, she was pretty cool when it came to going out. She always gave her consent, just asking where one was about to go. Unfortunately for Castiel, _ice skating with Dean_ would raise more his family's suspicions, if he said he was going ice skating they would say ask with whom.

"To hang out with Sam!" he didn't stay for a reply and hurried to the Impala to where the Winchester brothers would be waiting for him. His ice skates were a little worn out but usable, he'd got them two years ago when he tried to play hockey. Actually his first aim wasn't hockey, he went through a phase in which he decided he needed to practice a sport but after some months trying he settled for none.

"Hey!" the inside of the Impala was cozy and delectable.

"Hi, Cas" Dean was wearing a gray beanie and damn he was looking hot!

Cas' brain froze for a couple of seconds. He could feel the embarrassment getting to him, Sam would find out and they'd be screwed.

"Where's Sam?"

"He chose not to come" the car was making his way through the streets of Lawrence, there was a beautiful melancholy impregnated in the air. It seemed cold outside, but the sunlight was stronger than it was the day prior, a good indication, Castiel thought.

"Why?"

"Well, he said this was a date" Dean glanced at Cas like he himself didn't know the true nature of it.

"It isn't. You should've told him, Dean" Cas lamented Sam's absence but the sole prospect of having Dean to himself was way too charming to be rejected.

"Not a date? Let's see… We're going out, just the two of us, to have some fun ice skating. We're gonna spend a good amount of time kissing each other's brains out, which sounds pretty kinda romantic to me. I don't know Cas but this seems like a date to me, fair and square."

"Never thought you were the romantic type of guy" Cas placed his hand on Dean's thigh "But I think I like it"

They drove for nearly thirty minutes; Dean wanted to find a good place to skate. He wanted the lake to be very solid, no signs of liquids; trees needed to give the lake some privacy, and there had to be a close spot for the Impala to park.

It wasn't a lake after all, it was more of a pond, but it was very comfy and the vegetation that surrounded it protected them from the wild winds.

Cas put on his ice skates feeling them as comfortable as they always had been. His charcoal scarf tied in a European loop, his hands gloved and a dark coat warming him from the temperature.

"Ready?" Dean was already at the edge of the pond, he spirit competitive a delighted.

The surface of the frozen pond was idea for ice skating. Dean told Cas he was out of practice and the very less thing he needed was an injury, so he grabbed hold of his boyfriend's gloved hand stopping many times.

Dean stopped their round once more taking Cas' in his arms, his waist in his hands and their lower bodies pressed together in a minimal touch. Cas was looking up to be able to see the other boy's eyes properly, his arms were enclosing Dean's neck and the stillness of the ambiance trapping them in the spot.

They decided for their safety to go to firm ground before an ill-fated accident could ruin their date. When they were away from the traitorous quietness of the dew pond their first basic instinct was to raise the temperature in the most pleasurable form they could, kissing as if the world depended on it.

Soon enough Cas could feel the heat and the scarf became unbearable so he took it off and broke the kiss to fill his lungs. When he looked at Dean, he saw the scrumptious state of debauchery he had, those curvy lips claiming to be taken de novo until they were left puffy and bright red.

Cas drew Dean closer using his scarf by placing it at his nape, they were sitting on the cold earth not really caring about it. Each little movement was a caress, a dedicated one, there was no time for thinking, no time for anything other than them, it was just Dean and Cas there, nothing else mattered and nothing could break their amalgamation.

"What was that?" Cas asked, he was sure something was there, something other than the wind.

"Perhaps a squirrel" was Dean's answer. It was noticeable his only assignment, from his point of view, was to taste the insides of Cas' mouth.

"Dean, it wasn't a squirrel"

Dean rolled his eyes; there were times he really wanted to hit Cas for being such a tease even without knowing it. "Who cares?"

And just as that they both committed themselves to their task. It didn't last long though, the breeze was turning more feral and their bodies were giving signs of tiredness.

Before taking Cas to his house they went to the little café to get something hot to drink. Hot chocolate seemed the best option, but they didn't drink it inside, the place was crowded and they had no more energy to expend.

Castiel felt relief once he trespassed the doorstep of his house, it was welcoming. The cup of hot chocolate still smoking in his hand, his skin dry because of the season, and his fingers slightly numb. He was in a good mood; Dean always made him walk on air.

Explosion sounds were coming from the family room, there he found Lucifer, Raphael and Michael sprawled on the sofas watching some action movie, Michael's eyes were perhaps too closed to be watching anything at all. Uriel was at the window desk typing something on his laptop and Balthazar was lying on the floor texting on his cell phone and giggling overexcited.

"Hey, guys" said Cas to make his presence acknowledge. The only response he got was the guttural murmurs indicating that yes, they knew he was there, and no, there was no need to say anything else.

Castiel sat on the sofa chair and withdrew his trainers with a swift movement, sighing when his feet were free at last.

"I knew it!" screeched Balthazar, raising a closed fist as claiming victory.

"What?" asked the other five boys as incredible as it may sound, all their faces turned to Balthazar, even the sleepy Michael who yawned opening his mouth like a lion roaring.

"Castiel, was there any need to deny your love?"

"What?" this time it was Castiel alone who inquire in incredulity.

"You and Dean Winchester, silly boy. And your secret ice skating date at a pond. There's a lot of kissing involved too, I like my cousin isn't afraid to show his dominance" he finished his small speech by winking somewhat excessively at Cas.

Poor Castiel was left speechless, he had no idea how Balthazar had gotten that information. That was private, that was he and Dean and the cold winter air.

"No, that's… that's not—"

"Drop the act, Cassy!" said Balthazar exasperated "I've got proof, see?" he showed Cas his cell phone, and indeed, there was a picture of him and Dean kissing, their bodies as close as they could get and Dean's fingers buried deep in his hair.

"How did you get that?" Cas was beginning to feel betrayed, infuriated. How could anybody invade their solitude like that?

"I wanna see!" Raphael's grave voice said, he had always enjoyed taunting Castiel along with Lucifer, they were quite the dynamic duo when they wanted to.

"Look in Facebook, Bela Talbot's profile" informed Balthazar uninterested.

"Bela Talbot?" Castiel was certainly surprised. He knew Bela wasn't someone to lay your trust on, but he didn't think her to be the kind of girl who sneaks behind people in the hopes of getting a chance to mortifying them. She was way too popular and self-centered to do that.

"That's what I say"

Castiel grabbed his trainers and went straight to his room closing the door with a thump. He kicked the nightstand and scream with his face on a pillow as hard as he could.

_Was his and Dean's private life so interesting it deserved to be stalked by a random person? Not just that but also taking them pictures? What did this Bela Talbot want to prove, what benefits could she achieve with it? _

He pressed one and waited for Dean to answer, the time waiting felt so long he had had to pace from one side of his room to the other.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"You and I. On Facebook."

"Wanna establish a Facebook relationship, Cas?" Dean was laughing softly at the other end of the line.

"No! I mean you and I are on Facebook already. There are photos of us from today, at the pond, and I fear that it cannot pass as friendship, Dean"

"WHAT?"

"Yes, apparently a girl named Bela Talbot took some pictures of us and uploaded them on her profile." As if it wasn't bad enough, Bela being as popular as she was had at least 1500 friends on Facebook. How encouraging.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean muttered trying to control his rising anger. He knew the little skank, she was a year younger than him and was sexy as hell, but also the queen of liars and a very manipulative girl.

"I'm sorry, Dean" Cas felt as if all of it was his fault, he was the one who invited Dean on a date, if he hadn't said anything none of this would've happened and they would still be happy being themselves without the intermission of unwanted strangers.

"I'm sorry too, baby" said Dean, he really was.

* * *

_the plot thickens, muahaha_


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter has been split up. It was much longer but I thought maybe 7 thousand weren't so pleasurable all together, I don't know.**

**Ahh, the other chapter as it's already finished won't take long. I'll update tomorrow, so it's your lucky week. **

**Okay, straight to business then!**

* * *

A ball of compact snow hit Dean square on the cheek, it was hard and damp and friggin' cold.

"You're gonna pay for that one, Cas!" yelled the older Winchester as he collected snow with his gloved hands in order to form a perfect orb to strike Castiel with it. However a new shot at the back of his head disoriented him. "What the hell, Sam? Are you two teaming up against me? That's pretty low!"

Sam was roaring with laughter as he bombarded his brother who had found shelter behind a tree.

"Hey, assbutt!" cried out Castiel. Sam turned around and all he saw was the pallid snowball directed like a whirlwind at him. Sam's last provisions fell from his hands and landed around him with a soft thud.

Dean burst out laughing coming from behind the tree and clapped a hand on Cas' shoulder looking at Sam with a satisfied expression "You're the best, Cas. Oh, Sammy you _deserved_ that one! You were practically asking for it, dude" His open palmed on his stomach as he tried to control his mirth unsuccessfully.

"Shut up, jerk" replied Sam cleaning off the rests of the white powdery material.

"You wanna call it quits?" asked Dean to nobody in particular. He was tired as hell after running up and down and hiding behind crappy refuges; getting hit by snow isn't so funny when your adversaries are as skilled and determined as Cas and Sam.

"I agree with that suggestion" said Cas a little breathless. He had to admit he was out of shape; he was surely not the kind of guy who practiced sports or exercise for the physical benefits of it. He was as sedentary as a senior student with a passion for books and movies could be, and that's a lot to say.

"Yeah. Sure" was Sam's short reply.

They went straight to where some benches awaited. The temperature was pleasant even if the breezy winds were something to take into account. The park was mostly empty. Apart from them the only other occupants were a group of four young kids, ages around nine or ten, who were building snowmen with cheeriness.

"Well, isn't this the best birthday?" Dean was at the center of the bench squeezed between his brother and his boyfriend; his arms open wide at the back of the bank.

"If your definition of best is to get attacked by feral snowballs, then yes" Cas felt warm against Dean. Different than Sam, Sam was just warm, Cas on the other hand, he felt _warm._

"You know what'd make this day better? Mom's pie. I'm sure she made some. Let's go" Dean was on his feet as soon as the word pie was out of his mouth. His stance suggested he was waiting for the other two to join him in his precious quest for the beloved pie.

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Dean" Cas' tone was down like he was dejected.

"What… why?" Dean glanced at Sam in hopes of an answer but the boy just shrugged his shoulders.

"Your parents… By now they must be aware of the nature of our… relationship" His last word was pronounced as if it was strange to his tongue.

"Nah… they don't suspect a thing. For all they know you're just a good friend who happens to hang out a lot to watch movies and play videogames… and join us for holiday dinners" he huffed recognizing it was a tiny bit weird for just a friend to join family gathering especially when he was part of one of the biggest families in the whole town.

When Dean got out of his absorption was to welcome Sam's bitchface on full mode. Sammy cocked his head towards Cas trying to make Dean comprehend the idiocy of his words.

"I think you should tell them, Dean" said Sam, and Dean instantaneously knew it was true. He hated when Sam was right mainly because it meant he was wrong.

"What?"

"Look, I know you think—"

"No, no, Sam. I'm _not _telling mom and dad about _this" _his face was all dread and no rationalization.

Sam crossed his arms over his chest and looked at his shoes intently.

"Why not?" Castiel stared up at Dean, and the latter could feel the contrition and shame starting to consume him, slowly but indubitably.

"Because… well, you know" a hand on the back of his neck attempting to alleviate the pressure.

"No, I don't" Cas knew he was pushing perhaps too much. Dean had been clear, telling his parents was not part of the deal, but Castiel couldn't help but to feel disappointed of Dean's childish behavior.

"I'm not telling my parents I'm… Fuck, I don't know, okay? It's just…"

"Dean, you're an idiot." Sam stated after quitting his quietude. He had no part to play in this conversation but seeing Dean act so stupidly just because he wasn't able to get his head out of his ass was almost physically painful.

Dean and Castiel pierced him with such ferocity he nearly backed down but someone needed to say it. "You seriously believe mom and dad will be mad at you for this?"

Dean limited to nod as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, _yes._

"You're their son." Sam's voice was firm and stern, when had he grown a pair? "Mom will be okay with it. Dad's probably gonna freak out and then he'll be fine with it too. I'm sure"

It was impressive the power Sam had over his brother, even when he didn't know it, Castiel thought. Dean seemed to think things twice after Sam's assertion, not daring to look at Cas for more than a second.

Then he did. Cas looked… hopeful. Fuck.

"Fine" the word a low mutter.

"Really? I'm sure your parents will be fine with it, Dean" Cas was now standing too, very close to Dean and with a giant green on his face. "This deserves some sort of celebration. I'll get you another present and the lunch is on me" all this at an incredible speed.

"Woah, woah, wait, Romeo!"

Cas frowned, Dean had lost him. Again. He tended to do that to him. "What?"

"If I'm telling my parents, then you are too" Dean prayed to a God he didn't believe in to Cas to withdraw his request. God didn't like him that much.

"Okay" Cas countenance was way too serene, and happy. _Damn him._

"You two are done with your drama?" Sam was some steps away from them motioning to where the Impala was parked. His long limbs carrying him with the exuberance of a young blissful boy.

Dean looped his arm around Cas' waist, a wave of renewed contentment filling him up. "I have no idea what gift can be better than Black Ops 2, Cas"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there, Dean" Stated Cas with a pinch of seriousness Dean couldn't help but to chuckle at.

* * *

Dean could feel the tension accumulated on his muscles as soon as he heard the front door opening. Sammy was deep asleep in his bedroom. The book he was reading, _The Sorrows of Young Werther__, _splayed wide open on the floor; and his right hand hanging from the edge of the bed, the fingers stroking the little green rug.

Dean was pacing in his room feeling like an animal in captivity. He was so not ready to come out to his parents, it was madness. A frenzy hand ran through his now messy hair and his mouth went agape to let him breathe big mouthfuls of the so yearned air.

The urge to hide under the blankets and never go out again was very hard to resist, but Dean knew better. He'd promised Cas he'd tell his parents about their relationship, and well, if things went bad he could stay in his room playing Black Ops 2 and enjoying Cas' other present, Led Zeppelin's _Celebration Day_ Deluxe Edition. Cas is awesome, Dean thought.

And he deserved this, he was awesome and he was worthy of Dean's courage, wasn't he? Dean took one last deep breath and let it fill him before exhaling hard and shaking his arms as if he were a boxer about to enter the ring.

The way downstairs and to the kitchen seemed short and terrorizing, each step closer to his inevitable doom. The television was on and the noise of plastic bags reached him indicating that whoever was home had done the shop. So his mother it was.

Dean was eternally grateful for the privacy he could have with his mother about this particular topic. There was no one else so if he embarrassed himself Mary wouldn't judge him too much.

"Went to the market?" he was standing awkwardly next to the counter not knowing what to do with his body, a light prickle nagging at the back of his neck.

"Yeah, we were running out of food already. You boys eat too much, especially you, Dean. You can end with everything in a single day, and still be able to swallow a whole pie." She wasn't by any means scolding him; there was fondness in her voice.

Dean strolled at a snail's pace towards her, stopping not too near to evade her inspecting every little movement he did. "Mom, I need to talk to you" his eyes fixed at the cabinet behind her.

Her posture went stiff and her hands stopped in midair abandoning the groceries. "Is everything all right, Dean?"

"Yeah, it's fine. It's just." He let out a frustrated sigh and leaned on the counter, his hands gripping the border intensely. "I have to…I. I'm not what you, no, no. I mean, I'm dating… someone" the reddish on his face and the heat ringing his ears were becoming overwhelming.

Dean was surprised when his mother started giggling to later allow her soft sounds to evolve into a pleasurable chuckle. Mary patted his shoulder and poured herself a glass of grape juice.

"Please tell me it's Castiel" her eyes were shiny and her voice tender.

"Wait! Did you know?" his mouth drew a perfect o, astonishment written all over his face in bright red paint.

"Well, I'm your mother, Dean. I dare say I know you very well, and there is _something_ in the way you two act around each other that gives it away." Even though Dean was relieved there was a torrent of questions building inside of him, Mary had to see it because she shook her head and ordered with a hand Dean to stop whatever crazy thing he was about to say. "It's okay, honey, it's fine. I know what you're going to say, and I'm totally fine with your liking for Castiel, even though he's a boy. There's nothing wrong with that as long as it makes you happy and you do no harm" her soft hand cupping Dean's face "It's alright, I promise"

When she retreated her hand it was like Dean snapped out of whatever daze he'd fall into. "Does this mean Dad knows too?"

Mary put the empty glass on the sink before responding Dean's question. "I don't believe so. He's so… distant. You know how he is, Dean. But I wouldn't worry too much about him" that was the way their relationship developed; Mary couldn't care less for John's opinion and John would usually reserve his things to himself. As long as he didn't get in the way they were fine, as fine as the Winchesters could be.

Dean knew that was hoping way too high. At least his mother didn't care about Cas being another boy, she was delighted Dean was taking someone seriously and not just for a good fun time.

"I like him. He's a nice boy" Mary was now in that stage where mothers praise their child's election, talking about what they like and allying with their kids to gain more confidence.

Dean grinned and for the first time his gaze lingered on his mother's "I like him too. He's awesome, mom. It's like Cas and I… I don't know, but it's… different" the glint in his eyes was charming, he was lost in thought and the only thing that returned him to the present and away from soft pale skin and dark malleable hair was the sound of the word _pie._

"Huh?"

"I said that I'm going to bake some pie for you. You're the birthday boy so you get to choose the flavor. What's it gonna be, wooer?"

Dean laughed and then added "Uh… apple? And pumpkin? With ice cream?"

"I knew you were gonna say that. You always do, although asking for any other than apple is unusual"

"Craving"

Mary laughed one more time and grabbed her keys and purse. "Okay, I have a meeting with my boss, and then I'll buy pumpkin. I won't be long though, an hour and a half at the most." She started walking, Dean closed behind her "Tell Sam I'm going to try to find that book he wants if he wakes up and if your father comes… well, you can handle him, I don't care." She turned on her heels and affectionate eyes looked at Dean "Thank you for telling me. I'm really happy you and Castiel are together, honey. He's invited to dine with us if he wants to, he's always welcomed" she planted a gentle kiss on his forehead and waved him goodbye.

* * *

Dean was surfing through the channels when the door opened. John Winchester entered the domicile taking off his coat and mumbling something about damn snow.

"Hello, son" his voice revealed the soberness and lucidity he wasn't owner most of the time.

Dean hadn't had time to gather his nervousness, after speaking with his mother he felt pretty relaxed about the whole thing so he didn't feel in the slightest worried. "Hey, dad!"

"What 'cha doing, boy?" he sat next to Dean on the couch, Dr. Sexy MD was on.

"Just watching some tv" he wasn't, not now. All his attention was concentrated on his father. Dean surveyed the older man and the happiness of seeing his father sober and _there _was enough to make him spill the beans. "I'm seeing someone"

John beamed, what father wouldn't be proud of their boy dating a girl? He tapped Dean's knee and chortled "What's her name, son? I bet she's a very beautiful girl if she caught your eye"

And that was when Dean started to shiver slightly, his skin went cold, and his mouth arid.

"Dean?"

"Uh… yeah, about that" a closed fist close to his mouth feigning a cough "I'm with someone… Not a—It's a _he, _dad"

John's straight face was something Dean always feared, now more than ever. John cut Dean with a look, and started fumbling with his hands. The silence and tension growing with every second, Dean was holding his breath and staring at his father like a statue, finally John broke the ostensible pressure.

"This is all about that queer friend of yours, isn't it?" his voice was flat and humorless, scarier than if he'd yelled.

"Dad, please"

"No, Dean. I know this isn't your fault. Who knows what that faggot has done to you" his fists were closed firmly and his mouth was just a fine line.

"Hey, it's not like that!" bellowed Dean rising from his seat and trying to distance from his father.

"Oh, it isn't? Then how is it, Dean? Huh? How!" John's serene anger had washed away, his cheeks colored and fuming.

"You're talking about him like he's some kind of freak, dad"

"And he isn't?" an eyebrow arched.

"No! You don't understand. He's great, okay? Just because you can't stop being a—"

"Is he forcing you?" John intervened now standing up too.

"What? No!"

"Is this some kind of prank?"

"No—" Dean was becoming more and more frustrated, this conversation wasn't getting them anywhere.

"Then why the hell are you _dating_ this _boy_, Dean?" John was almost biting his fist in order to control his temper but he wasn't being successful.

"Because I like him!" Dean blurted out. It felt both like a blessing and a curse to say those words, but most of all, liberation.

"You _what_?" his brows almost pressed together, and his head tilted towards Dean to hear better what he already knew.

"You heard! I like Cas, okay?" Dean was enraged by that time too. The air seemed to compress and the world to stop still.

"Are you telling me my big boy is nothing but a-a fucking cocksucker?! That all this time I've been raising a fucking pansy, Dean? Is that what you're telling me?" the pitch his voice had taken was alarming; neighbors would definitely have something to gossip about.

"I don't know, dad! The only thing I'm sure about is that Cas and I are happy together, and if that means that I'm gay, or queer or a pansy as you say, then so be it!" his face had turned from red to white to something very near purple.

"What the fuck's wrong with you, boy? You think this is good… this thing you've got with that Castiel? From the moment I saw him I knew he'd be trouble, way too much nice if you ask me. Men don't fucking act like that. A little girl, that's what he is. And you! I—how, Dean? You know this is sin, right?... My own son a damn fruity sissy"

"Well, you're just an asshole" muttered Dean loud enough to be clearly heard.

"Don't you use that language with me, boy!" his finger pointing at Dean accusatory.

"And why the _fuck_ not, dad? You've been insulting me and Cas since I started talking to you. You're just a goddamn drunk and guess what? We don't need you here, and mom doesn't give a crap about you!" Dean needed to get everything out of his system, now that his verbiage had started there was no hope to fix the dam.

John's countenance stiffen at the mention of Mary, she still was some kind of guidance for him, though he'd never admit it.

"You drink every day and you don't care about it. You care for nothing else than your lame ass, dad. I don't know why…why you do what you do but blaming other people for how miserable you've made your life isn't the answer."

"Dean, you have no right to talk to me like that, you're just-" there was something else than ager hidden in his tone, was it a pinch of pain?

"Why? Because I'm in love with another boy?" Dean huffed in disbelief and annoyance "If that's the best you can do, dad, then I'm sorry for you." As he started walking to the staircase his shoulders slumped and his pace became a stamp.

"Come back, we aren't finished, Dean! DEAN!" John yelled from the living room, his arms thrown up in the air and his legs barely sustaining him.

"You're a dick" said Sam. He had woken up and had watched the fight from the kitchen not daring to intervene. "Great birthday present for your son by the way" said he sarcastically following Dean's route to join his brother.

John cursed but there was nobody there to listen.

* * *

The Novak family sat at the table in content silence, just focusing on masticating their victuals as they usually did. The party on this occasion was formed by Zachariah, Camille, Castiel, Anna, Samandiriel, Uriel, and Gabriel. They were having cold soup and fresh slices of French baguette.

Castiel was sincerely terrified of what he was about to say, no, he was terrified of how his family would react to his announcement. His efforts to be optimistic were crumbling down with every spoonful of the smooth liquid.

Halfway through his meal Castiel lowered his hands placing them on his lap and looked from one side of the table to the other. Better end it quickly. He coughed softly to attract the interest of the others, which he did, frighteningly fast.

"What is it, Castiel?" asked Zachariah politely taking a napkin at the corner of his mouth.

"I thought it necessary to inform you that I am… in a relationship, just so you know" the voice that had started loud and clear had diminished its volume until it was just a murmur. Everyone was quiet though, so everyone heard.

"Aww, isn't that the cutest thing I've ever heard?" said Gabriel playing with his left cheek rather improper.

"Leave him alone, Gabe." Said Camille causing Gabriel to drop his hand in the act. "Will you tell us who it is, Castiel?"

"Uhh… it's. His name's Dean. Dean Winchester" his body relaxed at the mention of Dean's name, he was like a calming drug to Cas.

Anna spitted out the contents of her mouth, Samandiriel was playing with his food and Uriel was like a dull spectator at a baseball game.

"You're not!.. Are you?" asked Anna, her eyes squinting.

Cas nodded briefly.

"Well, that settles it" said Camille smiling enormously.

"_What?"_ Asked the rest in unison, heads turning at her.

"You're inviting Dean to our Spring Barbecue of course. I'd like to know him" said the woman returning to her soup avidly.

The rest of the members returned to their meals, Cas as well. Gabriel nudged him and whispered in Cas' ear "I knew you were hiding something, Cassy. I cannot wait to meet your beau. Must be quite the catch" he winked and drank his soup.

From across the table Anna directed occasional furious glances at him which he pretended not to notice for everyone's sake.


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm thinking maybe it'd have been better to upload it as one.**

**Please don't hate me.**

* * *

Truth is people never mind their business if they can put their greedy hands in the affairs of the others. People always talk, usually behind your back, it doesn't matter if it's to eulogize or degrade you. The little rumor will boost turning a girl's first kiss into a fuck-me-all-day-all-night-long-everybody, or maybe a boy's liking for Rihanna's latest song into him dancing at a gay club and having AIDS.

Dean and Cas tasted some of that luck, and man it was sour. Bela Talbot had made sure every soul in Lawrence High School double-checked the pictures she had taken. The bitch took it as if it were her goddamn job.

At first it was the gossiping. Everywhere Dean or Cas went people would talk behind their backs or even in front of them, shamelessly. Girls Dean had hit on would wear that revolted expression whenever they saw him, some even insulted him. Thank God there were still people who didn't give a fuck if Dean was gay or if the new boy was a homo creep (the latest one and the one Cas laughed heartily at).

Guys however are less chatty and more energetic. By the time Dean and Cas' relationship was no longer a rumor but rather a certainty Dean received a beating after defending Cas of some douche's mordacious words. Castiel had afterwards assured Dean there was no need to do what he did. Dean had answered there was no way he'd permit people to treat Cas like he was some punching ball they could throw their abuses at.

After the first week, which had been hell, things had calmed down. The homophobic population would still shut them out, whereas the rest returned to their usual activities. All that remained was the chitchat of some girls, envious for sure of Cas getting Dean.

They did nothing at school for Valentine' Day. No cute gifts, no flower bouquets, no boxes of chocolate, or love cards. Yeah sure, Valentine's Day's supposed to be special, to cherish the one you like or even love, but Dean and Cas needed nothing of that. They knew what they had and risking people to hurl insults at them? No, thank you very much.

Dean still was on bad terms with his dad after their fight, so were Sam and Mary. The man appeared like a ghost in their house, and the few times he was there he gave Dean the silent treatment. Dean spent as little as he could in the same room as John, Sam always following him. Mary alone had to deal with her husband. They also had destroyed each other verbally… well Mary had also slapped him hard, thrice.

The bloom of the spring verged upon Lawrence at great speed. Snow melted discovering the green grass, flowers blossomed coloring the landscape, the sky clearer and the sun brighter. The smell of renewal and freshness filling the lungs of people.

Birds were chirping the day Cas asked Dean to join him in one of those huge-crazy-ass reunions his family did. The day was coming to its end, the sun burning out the last rays of light.

"Will you come?"

"I don't know, Cas. Don't take this the wrong way but your family's a bit… scary." Dean admits, hands concealed in the pockets of his jacket.

"What are you talking about? They're nice, good people" head tilted in that endearing way Dean wishes Cas never used because he knows he'll say yes to whatever Cas asks of him.

"I'm not saying otherwise. But wouldn't it be, like, weird?"

"Weird? Not at all, Dean. I don't think so. My family wants to meet you, and I think it's time for you to meet them, too."

"This isn't that get to know the boyfriend's family shit, is it? Like, officially going there and shit, right?"

Castiel laughed softly, the sweet sounds at the back of his throat and Dean only thought how deep he was in this thing with Castiel. He's drowning in Cas and the worrying part of it all is that he doesn't care, he likes it, and he won't lose his grip in what they have, he'll hold on with teeth and claws if it's necessary.

"I think it is, Dean" Cas grabs Dean's waist bringing him closer to give him an encouraging kiss. "It'll be fine, Dean. I promise"

So Dean believes him with all his might and parts his lips to let Cas' tongue do the job. The Novaks may be a friggin' huge family but that doesn't mean they're going to hugely pick on him, right?

* * *

Saturday dawned clear and light blue. The temperature was ideal for outdoor activities and the scent of misted grass, open flowers, and awoken earth was an invitation to leave the oppression of walls and enclosed spaces.

It was around 3pm when Dean took a shower, a cold one. Thinking about a stripped and needy Cas he still hadn't tasted was definitely a turn on. As the last spasms of his dick released the white juice left inside him Dean wondered how much time he'd have to wait until Cas was one with him, skin to skin, all sweat and heat and no space between their bodies, with the thumps of their hearts as the only witnesses of their devotion.

Cas had said it was a super casual, easygoing, unceremonious reunion. The whole of his family, all eleven members were going. It was a tradition for them to make a large meal to gather the family, kind of a banquet really, with each change of the season.

Cas had also prohibited Dean to bring any other than his presence. He'd said that what mattered was Dean and Dean alone, no gifts or food to justify his attendance. And Dean embraced the message without waiting it to be told twice.

So when Dean parked outside the blue Victorian house with the white picket fence and the recently trimmed lawn he was feeling pretty good, insecurities stacked at the back of his mind.

There were four cars outside the house. Two inside the property, a black Toyota Camry and a sandy minivan; and the other two parked next to the curb, both fairly new and shiny, the first a hot red Audi A3 and the other a two-door white BMW.

The Impala purred quietly as Dean turned off the ignition. Cas was out of the house as soon as Dean was out of the car. His hair as tussled as ever; he was wearing dark skinny jeans, grey leather Converse, and a tee displaying three t-rex clothed dinosaurs and the words _STAR T-REX _in vivid yellow over a grayish background. _What a nerd._

"Hey!" said Cas opening the little door and stepping aside to let Dean in.

Dean kissed the boy's cheek and pulled him into a hug squeezing Cas and then tickling him until the latter was laughing hard and raw and telling Dean_, please, please stop. Fuck, Dean, l-let-et me ggg-go!_

"Hi" said Dean finally letting go of Castiel and placing his arms at his sides seriously and grinning like a little child.

"You're nefarious" said Cas shaking his head and offered a hand which was taken hurriedly by Dean; fingers interlaced and cheerful converse loading the atmosphere.

"Are _all_ your cousins here?" Dean asked tensing up when they entered the kitchen to grab some drinks before going to the backyard.

"Yep, and some other people too." Cas admitted pouring lemonade for both of them "I'd never met the others either, anyway."

The backyard of the house was as well kept as the rest of it. It was spacious and the terrain flat; a taller white fence encompassed the extent of the yard. Two grown rotundiloba sweet gum trees provided comfortable shade and a Japanese maple tree claimed attention with its crimson foliage.

The first object Dean noticed was a single table in the center of the patio, a very long one, that is. It was covered by a white table cloth, some pots containing colorful flowers acted as centerpieces and the cutlery was already set.

However, the marvelous table wasn't the only piece of furniture there was. There was a wooden gazebo which protected a small round table for two, rattan chairs that looked like nests because they seemed way too much cozy, a white swing bench, a hammock, two solitary benches, a three level medium-sized murky fountain, and a tire swing hanging from one of the rotundilobas.

A short woman with pale blonde hair and light blue eyes was the first to receive them; her smile was dashing, crinkles in the corner of her eyes.

"You must be Dean" said the woman extending her hand. "I'm Camille, Castiel's aunt"

"Nice to meet you, ma'am" uttered Dean taking her hand in his.

"I hope you haven't heard too many bad things about me, Dean" joked Camille directing a swift gaze at Castiel, all affection.

"Not at all, ma'am. He's just said the good ones" said Dean chuckling in an easygoing manner. If this was what meeting Cas' family was then he was all in for it.

"I have to go prepare more food. The crowd won't feed itself" informed she, happily leaving them to go to the kitchen.

"I like her" admitted Dean as he watched her go.

"Yeah, she's nice" was Castiel's response. He took Dean's hand once more to an area less observable, the others hadn't notice their arrival yet. They were too engrossed in whatever they were doing.

"Maybe I should tell you about them before I present you" whispered Cas when they reach one of the benches.

"A manual of the Novak family?" Dean asked not really asking, just kidding.

"You could say so" he moved closer to Dean, his hand on Dean's thigh and his shoulder pushing gently the other boy.

"Let's see" said Cas surveying the view "That old guy by the grill is my uncle Zachariah, he can be uh… a little snob, but nothing you should worry about. His manners are somewhat superior, but I think he's a nice man, all in all. My aunt is the one with the throne, and my uncle is just like a companion. He spends most mornings in the house and goes to work at midday. Samandiriel says it's because he isn't able to wake up early and he rearranged all his work schedule so he wouldn't have to. Oh, and he hates mowing the lawn" finished Cas.

"Are you gonna tell me everyone's history? Damn! What a good tour guide, Cas" Dean loved teasing Cas, maintly because most of the time it was the other way around.

"Oh shut up" replied Cas shoving Dean's shoulder and chuckling.

Dean acted shocked putting a hand on his chest and then returning to his original position "Okay, sorry. Please continue"

"Good." Cas pointed his finger at a black young guy sitting on one of those comfy rattan chairs who was writing something. "That's Uriel. He wants to be a politician and can get pissed really easy. Don't tease him; he's like a bomb always waiting to explode"

"Got it. No messing with Martin Luther King" Cas just shook his head searching for another person.

"Okay. So you already know Smandiriel, see the ginger next to him?" Dean nodded "That's Anna. She's…. well, she's kind of your fan?"

"What?"

"Yeah, I mean. I think she had or has a crush on you, I don't know."

"Gee. Guess you'll have to take care of me while she's around" Cas stared at the girl and then at Dean who couldn't refrain a laughter because apparently Castiel was seriously considering this. "Okay, okay. So… who's that?"

He was gesturing towards a blond attractive man who was eating an apple.

"Oh, that's Michael. He's the oldest along with Lucifer. They're 25 and they live in Kansas City; they used to come more often but now it's just like two times per month."

"So his name _really_ is Lucifer?" asked Dean, how could anybody name their kid that?

"Yeah. He enjoys toying with people" a bitter tone in his voice. He hadn't told Dean Lucifer had said all those things to him. "Uh… he is very manipulative and picking on people is kinda his hobby" Dean nodded "On the other hand, Michael, he's really polite and kind. I believe he's a counselor though he's aiming for ambassador, and Lucifer's a dentist"

"I bet he skips the anesthesia" Dean said, because seriously… Lucifer a dentist?

"Over there you can see Raphael with his girlfriend" he pointed at the man who was grabbing a cute brunette's waist. "I don't know her name so don't ask me. Raphael is seen very rarely around here, he's just a year younger than Mike and Lucifer. He's impatient, sardonic, and somewhat stern. Oh, and the short guy who's approaching them is Gabriel"

"That one?"

"Yes. He's horrible, Dean" said Castiel, his eyes rounder.

"How come?" Dean thought Cas' behavior amusing.

"He's always mocking people. He calls himself the Trickster, and if he knows something about you, you'll never hear the end of it. I'm not saying he is mean, but his manners are…. He takes nothing seriously, just his addiction for sweets."

"So the guy is a candyholic, huh?"

"Okay, uhh I think I should hurry up. Let's see" his hand gesturing to were a young man was groping another guy's ass "That's Balthazar and his latest conquest. Bal's just nineteen and he's basically a gigolo so we may never see that guy's face again." Dean's expression was one of disapproval. Curious thing since he used to be like that. With girls. "Oh, and the one who's helping uncle Zack –the one with the curly black hair and squared jaw- is Michael's boyfriend. I think they're going to get hitched pretty soon. They've been together for two years, but Michael's still living with Lucifer"

"Okay, I think Michael needs to get away from that evil brother of his and move in with his boyfriend"

"Yeah, me too."

They joined the others after exchanging some other commentaries about Cas' cousins. Dean felt secure by Cas' side, the air was cleaner and the grass greener. When had he become such a girly girl?

"Hey, Dean!" yelled the short man. _Gabriel._

"Gabriel, right?" said Dean trying to be polite with the Trickster.

"That's me!" He laughed with gusto tilting his head back even though he hadn't said anything funny. "So you are Castiel's secret love?"

"Uh..yes" answered Dean after glancing briefly at Cas in search for guidance.

"He doesn't talk about you much, you see, the boy's really shy." His hand on Dean's shoulder, the other holding a beer "You should listen to him when he's taking a shower, though. He thinks nobody hears, but I do. I caught him once—"

"Gabe" Cas' voice was restrained as well as his facial features.

"Oh, Castiel, you're such a wet blanket. Come on, man, it's funny! I wasn't going to say-"

"Oh, who is this?" asked Balthazar approaching them, his date long forgotten by a tree all by himself. "Dean, right?"

"Yes" said Dean, grateful for Balthazar's interruption.

"I must congratulate you, Cassy. He's as handsome as the match stick affirmed"

"He's talking about Anna" clarified Gabriel. "That girl has something for you, my friend. If you get tired of Castiel here, although I doubt it, you can go to her. But I wouldn't advise it very much. The girl can be clingy, even I admit it. You should've seen her face when Castiel told—"

"I think Michael would like to meet Dean. Excuse us" said Cas, his voice annoyed and a bit harsh. He pulled Dean by his elbow and left without a second glance.

"I prefer Balthazar over Gabriel anytime."

"Huh. Balthazar was too polite considering his usual demeanor."

"Are we really going to Michael or…?"

"Boys, we're going to eat. Please sit with the others; I'll serve the food with Anna. And no, Castiel, you won't clean the table afterwards. Go" She left as quickly as she had appeared.

Cas and Dean sat side by side somewhere in the middle of the colossal table. There was enough room for everybody, no shoulders bumping or feet crashing. Michael and his boyfriend were talking in whispers and giggling. Anna was next to Samandiriel, the former too busy with her cell phone and the second looking as if he was from other planet, stranger to humanity itself.

Balthazar's companion was being object of attention was more, but not my Balthazar but by Gabriel who was telling him a joke and punching him on the shoulder repeatedly.

Lucifer joined the party followed by Uriel. Then after Raphael, the cute brunette, and Zachariah, who occupied one end of the table. Next to him, Camille at last.

"Good afternoon, everybody! I'm very glad you could make it here. Now, eat!" was Zachariah's short speech.

That was not just a barbecue, that thing was a feast! There were grilled steaks, chicken, and skewers, of course, but not just that. There were basins overflowing with steamed shrimps, barbecued meatballs, stuffed Anaheim peppers, and corns on the cob. Little baskets held various types of bread, and cheeses.

Dean didn't want to appear greedy and famished, but his mouth was watering at the sight of such culinary beauty.

He started with some pork ribs, garlic butter bread, some chicken casserole, mashed potatoes, shrimps, and a stuffed pepper; accompanied by fruit punch. Cas' appetite was less fierce than Dean's but he indulged himself filling his dish with grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, cornbread, brisket, and chicken casserole; iced tea to drink.

Conversations started flourishing here and there. Dean could hear Gabriel joking, and Balthazar replying with witty answers. Lucifer was talking about politics with Uriel, whilst Raphael and his girlfriend enjoyed a story Camille was telling.

"Castiel, is that your famous boyfriend?" asked Raphael after gulping down a mouthful of wine.

"Oh, Mr. Winchester?" asked Zachariah shifting in his place to get a better look at Dean, who by now felt like an animal at the zoo.

"Yes, sir" said Dean not even trying to shake hands, the distance was too much for it.

"I've heard great things about you" remarked Uriel playing with the coleslaw. "Castiel may be reserved but judging by the little I've heard you're a very agreeable person"

"Uh… thanks" said Dean, his hand locked with Cas' under the table.

"You met Castiel at school, right?" asked Zachariah, his right hand holding a fork with a sausage.

"That's right" Dean started to panic due to the fact his conversation with Cas' uncle was now the center of attention.

"And how's school? Are your grades well?" Zachariah leaned forward, his eyes piercing the boy.

"I cannot complain, sir"

"_I cannot complain… sir" _said Zachariah reciting Dean's words "Isn't that a mediocre way of thinking? I've always believed why aim for the sky if you can grab the stars, see the whole universe?"

The atmosphere tensed. Zachariah's voice was crude and sharp. Dean swallowed hard and didn't reply.

"Tell me about your family, _Dean_"

Cas' grip tighten. "Uh… I live with both my parents. And my little brother." Said he clearing his throat.

"What do your parents do for a living?"

"Mom works for a-a… cell phone company. And my dad works as a mechanic" Dean felt himself shrinking. He had no idea what Zachariah's job was, but surely as hell it was fancier than his dad's. And he wasn't a drunk.

"Oh. Is your father John Winchester?" Dean nodded, _not bad then_. "I've taken my car to that garage, but I never let your father fix my car. He always seems to be under the influence of alcohol in you ask me" a grin on his face, his eyes beaming.

"Zack, that's enough!" retorted Camille throwing her napkin on the table.

"I'm just pointing out a fact, dear. Isn't it true Dean?"

Dean's ears were red thanks to both embarrassment and anger.

"Uncle." Said Cas, his tone revealed how pissed off he was.

Everyone else at the table watched the events as they developed, not intervening.

"He can't be too much of an example for you or your brother, I'm sure. You know, Dean, people say children are a reflection of their parents; I don't think that benefits you. I sincerely hope you don't turn out to be like your father."

"ZACHARIAH!" shouted Camille who was no longer sitting but standing with her hands on her hips, her head tilted and her lips narrowed.

"Sir, I don't—" started Dean, he wasn't going to let this man insult him and get away with it so easily.

"I'm just looking out for my nephew, Dean. If his love is to be invested it better be on a person who is worthy of it, don't you think?" he had the most satisfied shit eating grin one could express.

Dean felt the words of the man sinking inside him. He stood up too fast, knocking down his chair on his way out. As he started walking his pace accelerated and he could feel the so hated salty drops blurring his sight.

Castiel had left the table almost at the same time as Dean, just delaying to direct a few words at his uncle. "You have no right to treat him like that, uncle! He's my boyfriend whether you like it or not, and you can be sure none of your petty insults are going to make me like him less. They're only going to make me despise you more than I do right now."

Cas didn't wait to see the effect his words had had. He couldn't care any less. All he could think about was Dean. Everything had turned out badly, everything was fucked up now. He knew Dean was still sore of his father's treatment, but this? His own family rejecting and humiliating him?

"Dean, wait!" bawled Cas. Dean was opening the door of his car. He looked… wrecked.

"Cas, don't" Dean didn't wanted to talk with Cas, or anybody else for the record.

"Please, Dean!" He was now close to Dean, not sure if physical contact was allowed.

Dean was looking down; he wanted to hide the tears that were still running over his face. He let out a shaky breath when he felt Cas' fingers on his chin trying to lift it.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't know this would happen. My uncle… he… There's no excuse for what he said" Cas sounded truly sincere, apologetic, and ashamed, as if it were his fault. "If there's anything… anything I can do—"

"No" Dean looked up and stepped back "I'm… I can't, Cas. Not now. I know it's not your fault, but… Please. I- I can't right now. I'm sorry" he entered the Impala and kept his head straight, he couldn't see Cas, he didn't want to see whatever expression Cas had.

Castiel cursed as he saw the black car moving away. He could feel the rage and frustration building inside of him. He couldn't go inside, so he decided to take a walk to clear his mind.

Back in the backyard the barbecue had become bitter. The majority of them were truly annoyed at Zachariah's behavior. Some others (Lucifer, Raphael, and his girlfriend) acted as if nothing had happened. Zachariah just kept eating and ignoring Camille's words. Only the five of them remained at the table, the others decided it better to take their plates with them away from the dispute.

As Dean drove and drove he remembered Zachariah's words. Maybe the man was a dick, maybe he was just bitter. Maybe he was right. What if Dean wasn't good enough for Cas? What if he turned out to be like his father, a useless miserable being who needed alcohol to get out of bed, whose only motivation was a bottle of whiskey? What if he was destined to never be as good as he wanted to be, as he needed to be? What if Cas woke up one day realizing Dean was just… Dean?

* * *

_Cas' Star T-Rex tee is a description of a design by Captain_RibMan_

_I hope this chapter responded some doubts about the Novak family (Ages, occupation, personalities, etc)_

_Michael's boyfriend is based on Louis Garrel, french actor._

_Uh, well guys I really appreciate reviews.  
_


	11. Chapter 11

**I have to apologize for the lateness.**

**I hope this chapter's worth it.**

**You guys are awesome! Enjoy the ride(:**

* * *

After two days of avoiding Castiel Dean decided it was not worth it. Castiel was, the rest wasn't.

Dean realized that yes, his father was somewhat of a disgrace for the family. He was a man with no convictions, no ambitions, and no bright future, but hey, the man was family after all. Nothing you could do about it.

When Dean plucked up enough courage to call Cas he was dreading every second of anticipation. That was before he hit the button because as soon as he did someone on the other side picked up leaving no time to back off. It was Cas. Of course.

"Dean!" he sounded a little nervous and on edge. There was also relief there and Dean couldn't help but feel guilty as hell for making Cas upset.

"Yeah, Cas…" said Dean pinching the bridge of his nose. "Listen, Cas, I'm sorry—"

"Don't" interfered Cas. His voice determined and strong. "You have nothing to apologize for"

"That's not true, Cas, and you know it." Dean could feel Cas sigh at the other end of the line. "I—"

"Dean. I told you. Don't." as Dean was about to protest Cas rushed to say what he needed to say. "I'm the one who has to apologize and ask for forgiveness. No, listen to me. I'm sorry about what happened at that stupid reunion with my uncle. He's a dick" Castiel could almost see the grin creeping on Dean's face. Cas wasn't used to speak like that; apparently Dean was an influence on him, although he couldn't say whether he was a bad one or not. "I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to prevent it, and I'm really, really sorry for what he said. There was no need to do what he did, but he did, so I apologize for it"

"Cas, it's fine" Cas huffed "Okay, okay, it's not. I don't like your family treating me like a bad son of a bitch 'cause honestly, I've done nothing to them so I don't—"

"It's not my family, Dean. Just my uncle. The rest of them were quite charmed by you I dare say" Cas thought he heard Dean muttered a _huh_. "But, as I was saying, I'm sorry. Not just about that, though" said Cas biting his lower lip.

"What else about, Cas?"

"Your father?" Dean rolled his eyes and took a sharp breath. He was not discussing this thing with Cas. Not now. Castiel must have felt Dean's reluctance on the topic because he hurried to add "Dean, I am sorry you're not on good terms with him because of me and that I'm causing trouble with you and your family. It's not my intention to meddle in what you determine your personal issues, Dean, but I cannot help but wince at the thought that I… I—"

"You nothing, Cas." Dean replied. His heart was racing at the mention of his father. A mixture of unwanted feelings rushing through him. "Not your fault my father's who he chose to be, and get this inside your head, listen to me, okay? Nothing, _nothing _about this is your fault. You're nothing but I don't know, kitties and rainbows, all cute and nice and the kind of guy who couldn't hurt anyone even if he wanted. And don't make me say that again because, fuck, that was gay as hell" Dean could feel his face getting hotter and his skin getting all tingly.

Cas smiled, his heart and mind both felt lighter than they had in the last couple of weeks. "I _am_ gay, Dean"

Dean chuckled "You know what I mean. The touchy-feely part."

"I know, Dean" then he added "So, this means we're okay?" Cas had been worried to death Dean was hurt enough to break with him because of Zachariah's words. He wasn't talking to the man.

"Yeah. We're fine"

"I think it'd be better if I'd stop frequenting your house as often as I do. Your father." He stated the last as the explanation. He wanted to stay as far of trouble as he could with Dean's father, even if Dean said he didn't care about John's opinion Cas knew better. He had seen the devotion Dean professed for his relatives. John was no exception. Castiel opted for the unobtrusive plan, which should work.

"Is this because of my father's freaky behavior?" Dean said abandoning the dark spot on his wall he had been staring at for the last fifteen seconds.

"I just think it wouldn't be wise of me to provoke any disturbances with Mr. Winchester. I know how he's not dealing with this—with us—so I think it'd be better to give him some time?"

Dean wanted to contradict Cas badly, to somehow show him he wasn't one to retreat merely because an old man was being an asshole about something as normal as this was, but Cas was right. He always was. "Geez, Cas… I hate to say it but I think you're right." After a moment he added "I wish things were different with him you know"

"I understand, Dean. It must be hard for you. He's your father and he should be grateful to have a son as wonderful as you are" Dean blushed, his face as bright and warm as hot sauce.

Dean said, "Cas, you have no idea what you're talking about. I'm a nightmare, man! But it's true. My dad's going nuts about us, me. Better let him chill out and accept what he's got." Dean rolled off the bed and sat on the floor, his back leaning on the nightstand.

"I sincerely hope he comes around it better sooner than later" Castiel was sitting on the window seat of his bedroom, a crazy designed psychedelic green cushion clutched between his chest and knees. A gentle drizzle was dampening the glass.

"Yeah, whatever."

"How is Sam?"

"He's fine; been talking about how he was gonna forbid me of using the Playstation and hide my baby's keys if I didn't tell him what was going on between you and me. Kid's nosy" Dean remembered how worried Sam had looked when Dean had told him to stay out and mind his own business. Apparently in Sam's eyes Dean and Castiel were like a perfect couple in the land of love and rainbows and hearts. The Brangelina of Lawrence.

"He is very wise then" Cas chuckled. He really liked Sam, he was such a nice, intelligent and attentive kid. Most of all, he meant so much for Dean; their brotherly relationship was so strong Cas doubted if he had ever seen brothers so close, protective and friendly to each other.

"Oh you're just saying that because you don't want me to get better and beat your ass" joked Dean.

"Like that's even possible, Dean. I've spent so many hours in front of a screen playing video games and shouting at them there's not even a remote chance for you to defeat me"

"Wanna bet? 'Cause let me tell you—"

"Dean?" asked Cas after Dean had trailed off and gone mute.

Castiel could hear Dean talking to someone, the phone probably pressed lightly against a surface to restrain the noises.

"Yeah. Okay… I'll do it, just… No, mom. I promise. Fine." silence "Okay. Have a nice day, love ya'. Bye" Dean readjusted the phone to his ear and closed the door once more. "Sorry about that"

"Your mother?"

"Yeah, she's trying to get me to clean my room and wash my clothes and do a whole other bunch of friggin' housewife stuff."

Cas laughed because he knew how Dean hated to clean, scrub, wash, or any other thing related to house maintenance. The only work he enjoyed –to degrees which could be considered preoccupying—was working on the Impala, or any other cars for the record. "Then you better hurry up"

"Seriously, Cas? Are you gonna pull me into chores? That's low."

"If your mom's being so insistent then I'm wholly certain she has a valid reason to be. You're not known for being careful with your untidiness"

"Well, see, that's because I don't wanna go all clean freak, and OCD like you or Sammy." Said Dean. He really hated cleaning and tiding up.

"Ha ha. I'm not a clean freak, and you could benefit if you decided to go OCD" said Cas drawing air commas in the air with his left hand "you could actually see what color your floor is"

"You think you're being funny, huh? What if _you_ had to do the cleaning?" Dean was getting tired to talk about cleaning, _seriously who does that? _"So, what are you doing, Cas? Wanna break a record on time talking on the phone with your sexy boyfriend?"

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop procrastinating and go clean your room" said Cas. Dean could be such a dawdler when he wanted to.

"Aw, man! Are you gonna go all bossy on me?" said Dean frowning and shutting his eyes. Sulking.

"Yes. I'll see you tomorrow" a car stopped in the street parking in front of his house. It was Michael's car.

"I don't want to, Cas. I wanna stay all day in bed doing nothing else than this. Your voice, it's… nice. I like it. Maybe you should work as a DJ, you know, playing music on the radio. I'd definitely choose the songs, though. We have to polish your music taste—"

"You're doing it again, Dean, you are rambling." Dean huffed "If you start your _housewife chores _now you'll finish them before midday and you'll have all noon to do nothing productive. And your mom will be happy"

Just with that last phrase Dean knew he had lost the argument. He knew Cas missed his mother and that respecting attitude he held towards paternal figures was result of the death of his own parents. If this made Cas smile, even a little, Dean would clean every corner of his house, mow the lawn, fix the roof, cook dinner, and put flowers in vases.

"Fine. I'm doing it for you. But if it gets messy again I'm not cleaning any time soon"

"Okay. I'm more than okay with that" Cas smiled wide and stood up stretching his limbs. "See you tomorrow"

"Just if I survive the creatures living under my bed" Dean checked the underside of his it. Something moved "Dude, I think I saw a freaking cockroach or something. Shit! There's more than one! Oh God dammit!" Dean jumped to his bed, and peeked under the bed. Yep, definitely more than one.

"Oh, you better take care of that soon. That cannot be hygienic"

"Thanks, smartass. I had no idea cockroaches were dirty nasty whores" Dean winced at the prospect of disinfecting his room. Yuck. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Cas"

"Okay. See you tomorrow then"

Dean waited for Cas to close, he always did.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you"

Dean grinned openly. He always enjoyed Cas saying those three simple, yet meaningful words "Love you too, Cas."

Dean stormed out of his room in search of a broom, and a roach killer spray. As he was taking two steps at a time he realized he was actually excited about the cleaning. Just his room felt too little space to do such a thing, perhaps the living room could use some spruce up too, and the garage too. Oh, the things Cas could do to him.

* * *

Castiel woke up with a vague remembrance of his dream. He could recall a dark room, like the ones which were used to interrogate people. He remembered being sitting on a hard, uncomfortable chair, and a man questioning, no… judging and yelling at him. The odd thing about the man was that he somehow knew him, or at least part of him. It was like his uncle and Dean's father had been morphed to bring out the worst of them. His memory cannot present him the exact speech this Zachariah/John Winchester told him, but he's sure it was nothing near nice. It was rather rejecting, hurtful, vengeful, humiliating and infuriating.

His head is throbbing and the wetness on his forehead indicates he's been sweating. So nightmare it was. The beeps of the alarm do no good for his rising headache and he really regrets going late to bed. Marvel documentaries shouldn't be so good.

Feet on the floor. It's cool, his fingers curling on the plain surface. Castiel's never been fond of Monday mornings, having to wake up to go to school? Not his cup of tea. At least Dean's gonna be there, he's gonna be here too, waiting for him to get him to school.

Sometimes they make a halt before school to grab some breakfast. Usually it's just coffee, but there are some times when they treat themselves with waffles, sausages, and hot cocoa in that coffee shop they both like, the one in which Cas claimed himself to be Dean's property., because that's how it is. Dean is Cas' and Cas is Dean's. Period.

When warm water runs all over Castiel's skin he can feel his body relaxing. Tension goes away and he feels himself melting with the water. He woke up earlier than usual so he has more time to get ready. The sensation of a balmy shower is enough reward. His eyelids are threatening to close and his head, now painless, feels somewhat heavy, like it's declaring the need of a pillow to support it.

As always his dream, daydream, trance or whatever this thing is, takes him to Dean. His face is jovial, and his eyes so very expressive. Dean's face is flushed just as it is when Cas tells him how beautiful or wonderful he is, when he says something that turns things into a huge chick flick moment, or when Cas says those three words. Beautiful burgundy adorning his cheeks.

Castiel lowers his gaze and becomes conscious of Dean's nakedness. He can feel his ears ringing and his face heating, the lust invading his senses. Dean's body is bare, yes, but at the same time it's like Cas can't see the totality of it, like there's some kind of cover to it, and Cas' aching to see it, reach it and touch it. Dean is very muscular apparently.

Castiel is surprised when plush lips coat his own, the kiss so delicious, just as Dean. As the kiss prolongs his body fits like a puzzle piece to Dean's, and it feels good. A moan escapes Castiel and he can feel Dean growing harder than ever. Dean whimpers needy in Cas' mouth, lips trailing to his jaw, a soft nibble here, a light sucking there.

When Castiel begins to experiment the beginning of the end his eyes open wide, the cream tiles salute him, the water still pouring over him. He can feel his arousal; a hand is wrapped around his cock pumping fiercely and his body arching. He can see Dean in his mind and imagines it is Dean's hand instead of his the one that's jerking him off. A moment of tension in his muscles and half a second later Castiel comes.

* * *

The class was boring, Castiel had to admit, and so did Dean. They both liked English class, but today Crowley was all crabby and his easy manners had diluted leaving them with the history of the most remarkable wars the United States had gone through.

The day is fresh and the sky bright. Dean walks resolutely, his bag hanging loose on his shoulder. Castiel is walking next to him but his eyes aren't looking to the front or up as Dean's, in its place he is surveying his footwear and counting his steps distractedly.

"Cas?" Dean had called him two times already, and Castiel hadn't get a single word.

"Sorry, I was… unfocused. Apologies" if Dean isn't mistaking a pinch of embarrassment on Cas' eyes, then his name isn't Dean Winchester and he doesn't own the most amazing car in the world.

Dean opts to let Castiel make the decision, to tell him or not, he isn't going to push him into anything.

"I was telling you we could go to my place. Hang out. Eat something? We could order pizza… if you want?"

Blue eyes are sharp upon him and Dean feels like shrinking. "I thought we had… agreed not to do that. I shan't be further cause your relationship with your father gets more damaged, Dean. You know it. If he sees me—"

"If he sees you, I'll have to deal with him. It's time for the man to stop wetting the bed over this relationship of ours." Dean enters the car and waits a few seconds for Cas to join him. He starts the ignition.

"Don't we have to wait for Sam?" asks Cas, he's inspecting the outside in search of the younger Winchester.

"Sorry, I haven't told you yet" Dean slams an open palm to his forehead "He went to Bobby's for a week. With Dad."

A shifting of fabrics and the intensity of Castiel's full concentration on him makes Dean go all cheery and relaxed and timid. "I thought Sam was vastly displeased by your Father's behavior."

"He is." Dean looks at him for a moment before returning his eyes back to the road. The distance they cover is way too short, both wish it were longer, miles and miles of pleasant company, holy silence, cheerful laughter, and sloppy kisses on the road.

Castiel is still waiting for Dean to elaborate further. After three or four houses he does.

"I think he's trying to keep Sammy in the right path. You know, the _straight_ one, no deviations." The window of the driver's seat is rolled down, warm air ventilating the Impala. "Mom didn't wanted him to go, though. At first Sammy wouldn't hear a word of it, but…" as he trails off, he does a half shrug.

Castiel scrutinizes Dean's features; his hand goes to Dean's thigh, a dainty contact that seeks to reassure the older boy.

"Your mother agreed?" his voice is gentle and calmed, but behind it Dean knows Castiel is feeling uneasy with the whole situation. The poor boy might be blaming himself for John Winchester's childish mind-set.

"She did. When Sammy did. I think he said yes because he hasn't seen Bobby like in two years. Dad might want to keep his only remaining healthy son who happens not to like other guys from the menace I am for all I know" Dean thinks he's done pretty well, his voice didn't crack. The sole thought of his own father being disgusted of him for what he is and who he loves makes his insides crumble and blood runs faster and hotter and thicker making him short-tempered and put out.

Castiel sighs. There's not much he can do if Dean's father keeps acting like a capricious three year old. "And how does going to this Bobby is gonna help Sam not to… go, or be gay?"

"Ah… Bobby's pretty hardcore. Old man, drinker, hunter, had a wife, never married again, owns kind of a scrap yard." Dean has taken another street, an unnecessary one just to remain a little longer with this amazing person Castiel is.

"Right" Cas nods not understanding.

"What?"

"Is that manly? I don't see the logics of sex roles and social delicacies when it comes to this"

Dean chuckles. Looks like they're gonna drive around the park once more "I know that, Cas. So… you coming with me?"

"I don't—not sure, Dean"

"Oh, man! Say yes, please. We can have cold pizza and see crappy tv. Maybe I'll get the chance to beat your ass in the video games"

Castiel glances at Dean, the light-heartedness on his chest is at the same time fulfilling and comforting too. He misses the cozy couch and the warm carpet which conform –apart from the foyer, a half bathroom, and the kitchen—his knowledge about Dean's house. He's just got two homeworks for tomorrow, neither are very important, mere grades that won't do much difference. "In your dreams, honey. Keep wishing and count me in"

* * *

The key bundle was tossed straight to the couch. All lights were off and the curtains were drawn so the inside was very dim, poorly lighted.

Cas, so familiar with this room, was taking off his shoes and leaving them properly ordered next to the comfy chair where no one could trip over them. He phoned his house but no one answered. Then he tried contacting Camille, or Samandiriel, but no luck. After several fruitless attempts he grew tired of it and let his feet take him to the kitchen.

Dean was bending down, the fabrics of his jeans stretching and making a nice view of it all. The widening of the denim parted Dean's buttocks clearly. Cas recognized little after that he had been holding his breath and staring shamelessly at that illicit ass when Dean stood up again surpassing Cas in height, a wooden cutting board in his hand.

"Called your aunt?" he was now looking for something in the drawers. A razor-sharp shiny knife.

"I tried. But no one's answering"

"Better text her then" said Dean pointing the knife to Cas for a quarter of a second before making his way over to the fridge looking for ingredients for whatever he was planning to cook.

The chilly air of the fridge hovering over Dean's face whilst he grabbed some vegetables and some cold meats. Cas was silent. Silence they managed a great amount of times in great comfort; there is something pleasurable and satisfying in being with someone and not muttering a single word because you know there's no need for such, it's just you and that person fitting together rightly, conquering secret victories which would turn bittersweet if they were spoken.

But this time? _I don't think so._

"You staring at my ass again? Didn't know lust was one of your top five traits, Cas" said Dean turning around and winking in that flirtatious way he had causing Castiel to drop the cell phone on the counter with a hushed bang.

"I wasn't—"

"Oh, sweetheart, you're such a lousy liar. I saw you from the corner of my eye when I was looking for the board" he reached the aisle and threw a red tomato to Cas, who surprisingly caught it. He had good reflexes.

"I wasn't" replied Cas.

"Yes you were" retorted Dean washing lettuce leaves in the sink.

"Wasn't" said Cas again, a little bolder.

"You were, and stop denying. I know I'm a fine piece of ass to look at" as he gestured Cas to cut the tomato in slices. To cut all the greenish rabbit food.

Meanwhile Dean was heating up mortadellas, ham, pastrami, and salami all at once in a frying pan. Castiel was focused fully in his duty, slicing and cutting like he had a fucking degree on it.

The clock's hands had already traveled twenty minutes south "Mom should be home by now"

"Maybe she had to go shopping" after a brief moment he added "I'd like to see her. Your mother is very welcoming"

Castiel smiled so Dean did too. Mary liked Castiel very much too. She even tried to get Dean to talk more about him during meals so she could know how he was doing, and what he liked or disliked, for all she cared Castiel was a Winchester as much as her sons.

Dean exited the kitchen in search for his cell phone. On his way back he noticed a red page with big black letter that read _I'm gonna be home late. Mitchell's mother died. I left 40$ by the Tv if you want to order something. Love you._

"Is everything alright?" Cas' torso and head were the only visible parts. He was carrying a loaf of bread and his brow was furrowed.

"Yeah. She isn't coming any time soon though. Mitchell's mom died" he took the loaf from Cas' grasp and tear a piece of it stuffing it into his mouth and making a content sound to the taste of it.

"Who's Mitchell?" asked Cas, head tilted and eyes fascinated by Dean's chewing. The movement was distracting.

"Works with mom" and that's all explanation he had and he gave. Sure, the woman dying was sad but they didn't know her. Nothing more than her name. Besides, a pair of scrumptious looking sandwiches was tempting enough to get them to succumb on the couch watching Dr. Sexy MD.

"So this woman is also in love with Dr…. Sexy?" inquired Cas when on screen a blonde woman cried her heart out inside of a bathroom stall chanting words of desolation and unreciprocated burning love.

They had decided for television instead of video games, it was a lazy afternoon. Too lazy even for video games. The coffee table is supporting the weight of Dean's crossed legs and his arm is wrapped around Cas, keeping his warmth and fragrance of oat soap close to him.

"Yep. She's had a crush on him since she began working with him but it wasn't until now that she discovered she loves him, but that other cold-hearted bitch, Margaret, hates her. She's in love with Dr. Sexy too. But Stacy is dumb enough to listen to the bullshit Margaret's saying and she friggin' believes her!"

Castiel nods in understanding and returns his attention back to the screen instead of the smoothness of Dean's neck. He throws an arm across Dean's chest and settles just a little closer.

The blonde woman, Stacy stops crying. She confronts the other woman, Margaret, when she decides Dr. Sexy couldn't possibly do what that skank in heels and white robe says, because the night he was having an affair, well, they were together and there wasn't time for him to go to Margaret, pleading for forgiveness and blazing with wanton. Then there's a chick fight in the elevator; nails acting as claws, hair being pulled and slaps slapping and leaving reddish skin. The doors open and right there, is no other than Dr. Sexy, accompanied by the Hospital administrator. Both women get suspended.

"Their manners were misplaced after all." States Castiel matter-of-factly.

"So they deserved it? Stacy?" asks Dean, his fingers tangled in that dark hair and his voice gentle.

"She works in a hospital, Dean. I hope you're not justifying her actions" Cas looks up and his gaze locks with Dean's, he is unable to escape. It happens always, Cas thinks, they're like magnets, a gravitational force pulling them together and nearer and just a tiny bit closer, to let…

Cas stops the hard thinking the moment Dean's lips have found his. They are soft and there's a hint of shyness somewhere, hiding within his mouth. A secret? An unspoken desire?

Lifting himself only a tad more, Castiel deepens the kiss urging Dean to be closer by putting a firm hand on his nape. But Dean chooses to get lower until he's lying flat on the couch, Cas straddling his hips with his knees, hands on the other's shoulders keeping him down in place. As the kiss breaks they sucked each other's breaths inhaling the precious air filled with the enchantment of chaste yearn.

Castiel sits on top of Dean, butt and erect penis separated only by their pants, which by the way, have no reason to still be there. Cas leans once more to take Dean's mouth in his and the latter jolts when he feels the contact of something tender and unconfident right there where the pressure is becoming little by little harder to endure.

There's an almost uncontrollable impulse of thrusting his hips upwards in search of relief but Cas is being keen tracing wet kisses on his neck, licking all the way up to his jaw line and being this awesome yet unpracticed lover whose only guide is the passion that's eating him up.

Deans tugs at the hem of Cas' tee trying to get rid of it once and for all, to see that skin he's been trying to stroke with his own hands, no barrier of any kind keeping them apart.

And then a very high-pitched, needy, combusting-like, girly moan of nothing else than sexual pleasure ends the kiss, the lip action, but they're lips are still lingering over each other, eyes open wide and cheeks flushed even redder, if possible.

"You're so eager today, Cas." Said Dean chuckling "Didn't know you'd turn into such a whimpering chick when—"

"That wasn't me!" complained Cas, his eyes dark with the lasting trace of longing.

"_Right" _

"It was Stacy. I don't sound like that" pouted Castiel detaching from Dean's body.

Dean holds Cas atop him, hands on Castiel's waist and right thumb going up and down in a soothing manner. His lopsided smile and glinting eyes could've done the work and obtain the same results. A subdued Castiel who needs little excuse to stay right where he is.

His hand goes up to cup Cas' face, a soft caress that asks for everything but expects nothing. "What do you sound like, Cas?"

Air lacks oxygen and heart beats three times faster. The walls seem to be closing on him, and all that's left is Dean, a wooden plank amidst a vast ocean, he's just a shipwrecked and he's holding as tight as he can to his divine salvation.

"I…" Cas starts but never finishes. The calmed countenance Dean's being displaying is slowly going away. He knows what he's asking is off limits and he was damn prepared to hear it, _no, _but fuck everything! It hurts like hell to be rejected when your heart hopes blindly.

Dean lets his hand fall and looks everywhere but where Cas is. The ceiling is pretty interesting. There's a tiny damp stain darkening the whiteness of it.

"Cas, it's fine… I'm sorry. I won't… I know you don't want to, you know" his hand gesturing vaguely and not really explaining in the least.

"Dean, I-I… perhaps you can uh, find out?"

"What?"

"Dean, I. What I'm trying to say is… I _want_ you, Dean. I _need_ you. Just you. Please." A pleading tainted with raw desire, a voice attempting not to break and coming out enervated.

Next thing they know they're no longer on the couch. Fast, clumsy steps rushing to the second story looking for the intimacy of a bed and four walls, a cocoon for their scorching yen. The way upstairs isn't easy with the all those kisses so desperate and ready. Dean shoves Cas pressing him against the wall to devour his lips and tongue. Castiel gropes Dean's ass forcing their groins together in a frenzy motion that has no rhythm yet. They trip sometimes; clothes are becoming as useless as air and distance.

At last they reach the fortress Dean's bedroom is. There's not much time to examine it. Maybe later. Cas has never been here before but it gives a feeling of Dean, like every inch of it saves a little piece of him, stories waiting to be told.

"You cleaned" manages to say Cas in the midst of a short break they take, forehead's resting against each other, breathing is hard and there's no composure.

"For you" and then Dean has taken off that annoying tee Cas was wearing.

Castiel is thin but not bony, his white skin stretches firmly and elastic with each movement he does. His collar bones are like heaven and his nipples are perky. Dean stares for a couple of seconds to admire the beauty in front of his eyes, and then he remembers he's allowed to _touch._

The look Cas is giving him says it all. It says, _go on_, but it conceals _I'm nervous_, not too well.

Dean's hands are on Cas' shoulders, he glances at his boyfriend's face, his eyelids are closed expecting the so wanted touches he's been aching for, God-knows-how-long. Before going to unknown territory Dean kisses Cas on the chin, forehead, nose, eyelids, and jaw. A worship.

Dean places his lips on Cas' neck, down down they go. Always south. Those tempting collar bones end up being nibbled with the softness of a feather, Cas makes a sound at the back of his throat.

Next, the nipples. They are raised and firm and God, so fucking hot. Dean pinches the right one while the left is taken in his mouth, first a light kiss, then a gallant suction. Dean can feel Cas humming in pleasure, and the latter falls to the mattress gasping for dear air.

"Ummphhh" groans Cas when Dean starts to pull down his pants. Dean succeeds after struggling and cursing softly for his inefficiency, and Cas' looks like a deer in headlights. Dean doesn't miss that, and he lays his lips on Cas, devotion seeping.

A lime green boxer brief is the last piece of clothing covering Cas. Dean plays a little with the upper edge of it, then he begins to pull down, but a hand lies on top of his stopping him.

"I want t-to see you too" says Cas. He's so nervous he has literally no idea how he managed a coherent sentence expressing exactly what he wants. "Please"

Dean nods and disposes of his t-shirt, then goes the pants. Castiel had distracted him to the degree he wasn't aware of the pressure his cock had been under those damn jeans. Taking them off is… liberating.

They both remain in their underwear. Dean's boxer briefs are plain black. The garments cover the floor long forgotten.

Castiel traces patterns on Dean's chest liking the sensation of his skin beneath his hand. Dean, this Dean, and not the one he fantasized about that same morning, is the most magnificent creature Cas' has ever laid his eyes on. Dean has tanned skin, and there are some freckles sprinkled on his chest. His abs, unlike Castiel's are toned; he's got an athletic body and Cas suddenly feels the urge to gain more muscle.

"I've never done this" says Dean hoarsely; he's waiting for Cas' stamp of approval. His head on the crook of Cas' neck, bodies perspiring and heat engulfing them.

"Me neither" says Cas, his hands traveling all over Dean's back and resting on his shoulder blade at the same time.

Recommencing the groping is easy enough. Doing it without all those layers is certainly more comfortable, but they still aren't skin to skin, vulnerable and completely exposed.

Cas rolls them and now he's the one on top. His attention to the shell of Dean's ear "I want to ahh… see you" Dean gasps out. Cas is licking and _fuck, fuck, fuck _it feels good.

Cas hesitates and then nods. That's all permission Dean requires, moments later those green boxer briefs are hiding nothing from him and it feels like a blessing, a Christmas present that came too late, or is being delivered way too early.

Castiel is possessor of a remarkable boner, in Dean's opinion, and his own cock grows with just looking at Cas. Cas -who is piercing Dean with those steely blue eyes he's got—looks preoccupied, ashamed, embarrassed?

Dean inhales deeply and gulps. His hand, hesitantly, makes its way to Cas' penis, which is so very flushed. As his hand feels the length and weight of Cas in his grasp, Dean can feel hot blood going straight to his own penis. A mast by now.

"You're… beautiful" Dean chokes. It's the first thing that comes to his mind, but it's also the truest statement he's made in a very long time where sex is involved.

Cas chuckles and feels his body relaxing a bit, his erection won't go, of course. Dean is below him, and those eyes, those lips and those words. He can sense no lies, it's true then, at least it is to Dean and that's all he needs. He pulls down the black fabric that's covering Dean and is amazed by what he can do to Dean. Castiel has never experienced this, the desire, the lust, the real emotional salaciousness combined with his devotion and care for someone. He doubts someone apart from Dean can make him feel whole and still keep him wanting for more.

Dean rolls them over again, hands greedy as well as lips. Underneath him Cas starts bucking his hips, the knot on his lower belly becoming somewhat unbearable.

"Dean… Dean, please"

Dean kisses that once-pale-now-pink chest, and crouches on the feet of the bed. He's nervous about doing this, so he gives his cock some attention, up and down, up and down. Cas begins to breath more and more rapidly.

Dean lowers his head leaves a wake of chaste kisses on Cas' thighs, anticipating and fearing for the wanted touch. As Dean comes closer and licks the inner part of a groin, Castiel pulls Dean's short hair and makes noises so desperate Dean goes straight to business.

He sanctifies the act by kissing the tip of Cas' circumcised cock which is leaking pre-come. Cas thrust upwards his hips bringing the swelling dick closer to Dean, and God, he so wants to do this.

"Deeean…" murmurs Cas in a soft quivering whisper.

Dean opens his mouth and receives it into his mouth. At first it feels… odd. But then Cas is humming and Dean becomes aware that this is Castiel, _his Cas_, and his scent, his essence, Cas is here, and he'll give him pleasure.

He has no idea how to give a proper blowjob, so he just avoids being too eager in fear of hurting Cas with his teeth or something like that. But then he feels a wave of pleasure and how sensual this shit really is. So he gives it a try and sucks gently, not yet prepared to take him whole in his mouth.

Castiel is working hard not to fuck Dean's mouth, but… it's _hard_. His head cocked to the side to silence his moans and whimpers.

Dean lets his hand go to Castiel's balls and he starts caressing them, soft, loving, caring, then he adds more pressure and Cas goes all shaky. Thrusting hips indicating Cas needs more, and he'll get it because he's fucking Dean's mouth now.

"Ohh_... fuck_!" says Cas. Dean very rarely listens a curse come out of Cas' lips, but _hell_, he's got reasons.

Dean gags, it's too much. He can't get all that inside his mouth, he won't. But then Castiel settles into a rhythm, and Dean is right there following. The feeling of something so personal and intimate as a cock, Castiel's, in his mouth, pressed by his lips, and nursed by his playful tongue, not what he expected. Much better.

His teeth scrape a little but for this being his first time giving a blowjob, he's doing a pretty good job. The pre-come tastes a bit salty, sweat damps his body. Castiel is sweating too, so fucking much. He needs release, _now._

Dean hums of pleasure and that sends Cas straight to the brink. He wants to alert Dean he's gonna ejaculate. "Dean, Deaan… I need, oh God, there oh yess. I'm gonna—"

Dean just looks up at him, cock trapped in his lips and winks. Cas notices he's also wanking and the sight, oh God. There cannot be anything sexier than this. He feels the tension reaching climax, and then he's spilling and chanting something like "Dean… Dean… Oh God, I love you, love you, love…" and he relaxes into sweet oblivion.

Dean swallows as much as he can. He's pretty sure he won't regret this, ever. Some of it escapes him, though. But he licks it afterwards.

Cas watches as Dean crawls up to his side, his erection hasn't been treated and he hurries to reciprocate. A long deep kiss, his hand working at the same time as Dean's, holding a rock hard dick.

"Umphh… Cas, you… taste so ahh, good" says Dean, eyes closed and hand working intensely.

Castiel slides a hand on Dean's back and grabs his ass tight with both hands. Dean gasps once more and he's so close Castiel doesn't want to let pass this opportunity. He experiments slithering his hand between those buttocks and it feels warm there.

Dean knows he can't hold it much longer, his jaw clenches and he loses it when Cas bites tenderly his shoulder. With a loud cry Dean is pouring the white fluid and he feels in Heaven. It's until his head is clear he realizes he came with Cas' name on his lips.

Dean wants to dry himself with a cloth but Castiel simply says no, and he licks him clean with soft noises of delight.

They remain wrapped in each other's arms, naked, doing what Dean's always hated, but now adores. Post-coital talk.

"You're beautiful" Dean repeats, pressing his lips to Cas' temple.

"You aren't so bad, either" teases Cas. He, too, kissed Dean, but on his chest. His lightly freckled chest.

"I usually don't do this" Dean gestures at them, all curled up and covered with lukewarm sheets.

"What?"

"The cuddling and talking, the things chicks go crazy for"

"But you're doing it with me. Why?" Cas knows why, of course he knows, but hearing Dean is what he likes the most, or maybe it's cuddling with Dean, or getting his cock sucked by Dean. Perhaps it's Dean and whatever he does.

"God, I'm gonna grow girl parts" he laughs and then his embrace is tighter. "Well. Because you're… different. God helps me, but you are… I can't stop thinking about you, Cas. You're 24/7 with me, and I gotta tell you… it's friggin scary and it'd be a hell of a lot easier not to feel this crazy-ass way about you but…" He sighs deeply and Cas hooks his leg between Dean's.

"Yes?" blue eyes expecting a change in that face, his ears ringing with delight.

"I love you, Cas. I do, and _God!" _his eyes are shutting out the entirety of the world except for how Castiel feels with him, nude.

"I love you too, Dean. You have no idea how much. I still ignore how is it that I attracted you." Dean is ignorant about that too, not because Castiel isn't attractive, because he is, but looking back Dean knows he is the type of guy who flirts, compliments, fucks and leaves. Castiel is a whole new category; hopefully there won't be any more people Dean Winchester flirts with.

"Oh, it was your ass, dude."

"I was sitting at the time" responds Castiel enjoying the natural atmosphere they have settled. Like they did this all the time, exposing themselves and giving pleasure to one another.

"I have good hunches" says Dean winking and feeling his eyelids heavier and heavier.

They are in complete silence for some three minutes. The afterglow enfolds them and the light grows dimmer.

"I was thinking about you. Today" says Castiel. If there's ever gonna be a good time to say it, this is most definitely the right time.

Dean replies with a soft _huh_ indicating he is listening but won't talk.

"While I was masturbating" his words blunt and sincere cause Dean to open his eyes and stare at this weird, blue-eyed boy whom he fell in love with. "I find your body much more enthralling than the one I imagined"

Dean answers with a groggy voice. "That's because I'm a fine piece of ass" He can feel Cas shaking his head, and then adds "Maybe lust is really one of your top five traits"

They are overpowered by tiredness and fall asleep under the sheets that witnessed their first pure surrender to crude passion and agitated love. They both want to take things much further, to own and mark each other, to be as close as anatomy allows it. But there will be time for it, not now, but later.

The sun goes down and the hours pass, but they won't wake up any time soon. _Not yet._

* * *

_So so sorry, if this sucks. I have no kind of sexual experience. At all._

_Please, let me know what you think by leaving a review. I really appreciate them, and I respond ;)_

_Til' the next one, chaps!_


	12. Chapter 12

**No excuses for this one. I was lazy.**

**Thank you, each one of you. You're lovely and perfect and I love you deeply.**

**Don't hate me please, and.. oh, right. This story is nearing its end, maybe next chapter or in two chapters but it's ending pretty soon. Prepare yourselves.**

* * *

Suppressing a grin Dean fought his way out of his bed. Damn it was comfortable, but more comfortable was the memories that came to his mind every single time he lay down on the mattress. He could hardly believe his own mind, maybe it had all been a dream, a fucking good one. The reminiscence of a hot, damp body rutting against his got him goose bumps; the recall of heavy beads of sweat and silky lips combined with the sense of having his mouth warder of the harden manhood of somebody else, the surprise and pleasure when his lover came profuse and deep inside his mouth took the breath out of him. But not just that, the thought of sex was, for him, always enjoyable and carefree, somewhere he could let himself wander to find bliss. No, this was different. This was the overwhelming idea that strived to make him run back to that moment, the blazing desire to adore with his physique every inch of that other body, the terrifying but beautiful acknowledgement of his feelings, bare for someone else to witness and hold. Castiel.

God, had two days passed already? It felt like both and eternity and the blink of an eye. Only one thing he was sure of, Castiel wouldn't leave his mind, he was always roaming it and Dean knew he should feel at least a tinge of fear but there was only place for wholesome ecstasy.

_The two boys had fallen asleep in the kindest of embraces, the one where there's nothing else than the loved one's unprotected body offered to be held and loved even beyond consciousness. Dean's chest served as pillow for the dark haired boy with bright blue eyes, which were then closed to the world. Cas' arm thrown over Dean's waist, and Dean's hand resting over Cas' shoulder; legs tangled and feet poking out of the used sheets that covered just their lower bodies, torsos revealed to the saturated air._

_The sun had gone down some hours ago and the sound of rain rattling against the window woke them up. Cas reached up to meet Dean's already alert gaze on him, he looked drowsy and when he spoke his voice wasn't all that clear._

"_Hello, angel" fingers tracing an invisible path on his skin._

_Castiel chuckled softly and placed a kiss on the side of Dean's jaw. "Hello, Dean" _

_Dean closed his eyelids and sighed at the sound of his name whispered by Cas' voice "Mhmm"_

"_How long did we slept?" _

_Dean didn't want to think about that, about anything else apart from this, he and Cas, together, in bed, naked. He kissed Cas' temple and answered "No idea, dude, but I'm thinking of something we can still do…"_

"_And what is that?" asked Castiel, too eager and very much aware of what Dean was trying to suggest._

"_We could—"_

"_Oh, dear!" exclaimed Mary, a hand to her mouth and the door half opened._

"_MOM!" shouted Dean pulling the sheets over them and looking as red as a lobster._

_Cas went from panic to shame to fear to awkwardness in less than a second. He couldn't bring himself to words, no. He was too embarrassed to mutter a single letter, so he tightened his grip on Dean and buried his face under the white fabrics._

_Mary was shocked at first but she knew what it was like being young and in love, and she was Dean's mother so she felt no shame whatsoever. "I hate to interrupt guys, but—"_

"_Mom, please…" his voice came out stiff and pleading, his heart thumping violently and the understanding of the weirdness of the situation ringing in his ears. Cas felt warm, a comfort; but also shivering slightly. Oh god._

"_Dean, listen. It's getting late and… No, listen" she said interrupting her son and raising her voice. "Cas, sweetie?"_

_Castiel wanted to be mistaken, she couldn't be calling him, could she? He groaned softly and poked his head out of the sheets, cheeks and neck flushed pitifully and hair sticking up in that appealing way Dean called sex hair._

"_Did you call your aunt? It's half ten already"_

"_Mom, could you please, please give us a minute?" plead Dean to his mother. Mary rolled her eyes and closed the door as she went._

_Dean and Cas stared at each other. Dean was the first one to break into laughter followed by a timid Castiel._

"_I still have two essays to write." Said Cas._

Dean strolled to the bathroom to get a quick shower before leaving to school. He dressed up as fast as he could; he didn't care about being late for the first period, punctuality wasn't one of his virtues, but Cas had told him he had an exam and he needed to get a good grade. He didn't need it as much as he wanted it; there was nothing wrong with that of course, nothing wrong with wanting perfection. Castiel could fail his following five exams and still be top of the class.

Spending time with Cas was always fantastic, but there ought to be a time they had to part ways and wait until they could be together once more. And those times, when Cas was no longer physically with him, Dean felt lonely. He felt lonely all the more because this past week his sidekick, his little pain in the ass had been taken up to the north.

The mirror got splashed and Dean tapped his toothbrush on the sink to throw away the remnants of excessive water. As he was about to leave the lavatory he remembered to pick up his used pyjamas and underwear. He groaned and turned on his heels, but he was okay with it. It meant he wasn't to be alone any more Sammy was finally coming back.

* * *

Balthazar was turning twenty that Wednesday, hence the loud shouts and cackles. He wanted to celebrate a little. Okay, a lot. And he was inciting his brothers to go out with him, not that they needed that much of a provocation to accede.

"Where's the little squirrel, Cassy?" asked Balthazar. He was wearing a white low cut V-neck shirt, and a black opened blazer; dashing and fine as ever.

Castiel tied up his shoelaces and smoothed out his wrinkled shirt. "He's not coming"

Balthazar pursed his lips and shook his head to after, looked upside and whistled. "You boys really don't know how to have fun, do you?"

"What's taking you so much?" Gabriel was chewing a chocolate bar and holding a bag of gummy bears with the other hand. To be such an avid eater the guy wasn't fat, maybe just some pounds heavier, but nothing to make him appear chubby.

"Munchkin is having trouble dressing up" informed Balthazar with a smirk.

"I'll get him" replied Gabriel understanding the truth behind Balthazar's words. Both Gabriel and Balthazar were really close, and it wasn't just because they lived together and shared bills, they knew everything about the other, the good and the bad, and they put up with it. Their relationship was simple but the mechanics could get blurry for strangers' eyes, how could a cockish braggart and an insufferable stooge get along?

"I swear Samandriel does it on purpose, just to get me on my nerves. Not even birthdays count as special occasions" said Balthazar, his back facing Castiel. Cas couldn't read his expression but his voice sounded tired, unsatisfied, crestfallen?

The hand Castiel had in midair to place on Balthazar's shoulder fell. "I'm sure it's not like that, Balthazar."

"Of course not" Balthazar faced him once more, and Castiel had read his voice so wrongly. The young man wasn't a bit let down; he looked rapturous, failing to hide it with a furrowed brow.

"Uh huh…"

Balthazar's arm was around Castiel in less than second, his face very close –uncomfortably close—to the younger boy's. "You look happier"

"Do I?" Cas was trying to sneak out of Balthazar's embrace, but the latter was taller and stronger, and he wouldn't let go.

"Oh, yes" cocking his head to study better Castiel's façade. "Does this sudden twist of humor have to do with that spicy boyfriend of yours? Huh, Cassy?"

Cas felt the nudge on his ribs and the moment it happened it was like a trigger. Dean's lips so soft and pliant, his bare skin sweaty and the length of him hot and leaking. His face could've been burning with real fire and it wouldn't have been so different.

"So it _does_ have to do with him…" Balthazar sniggered and freed him.

Cas wanted nothing else but to run. He was not going to talk about this. It was nobody's business, especially not Balthazar's. But the taller boy wasn't done. One of his many 'qualities', he was stubborn as hell.

"Now, I don't wish to intrude, Cassy, it's the last thing I'd do." Cas huffed and rolled his eyes "However, as your big brother, 'cause I consider myself as such, there are a few things you should know about sexual apologies"

"Balthazar, really… there's no need. At all. For you to talk with me about this" he shifted in his place trying to cool down his body temperature and still look respectable.

"Don't be shy, young Cassy! Sex is as natural as breathing, but maybe you…" index finger on Cas' chest "don't know that yet."

"I don't want to…"

A dismissive hand shutting him up "I can tell you about some tricks I've ah, how would you say it? Picked up? During the course of my physical experiences?"

"Don't. Balthazar…" Cas was bright red, how did he always ended up talking about his relationship with Dean and sexual life with his family? It was like they were all focused on getting the not so dirty truth about him.

"Dean seems the type to enjoy plenty of foreplay and teasing, am I mistaken, Cassy?" the devilish glint on his eyes worried Cas because when Balthazar set a goal on his mind, there was no way of him to give up on it.

"Stop, stop, Balthazar" said Cas through gritted teeth.

"Don't you wanna gain some knowledge from a Lothario? Well that seems unreasonable. I'm fairly sure Dean would appreciate it" Balthazar rubbed his chin, not in confusion certainly, his grin torturing Castiel to the core. "Listen, Cassy… Even though Dean gives the impression to be the manly macho of the relationship, it doesn't mean you can't take away his dominance. It'll surprise him, and he'll love having you on top" there was no sense of shame in his voice, and even less of it when he winked.

"I don't need assistance on sexual matters in my relationship with Dean, Balthazar!" shouted Cas, frustration had reached me.

"Well, I didn't need to hear that, Castiel" said a third voice mockingly.

"Uriel, you kept us waiting!" Balthazar brushed off Castiel and went out with Uriel to wait for the other three outside the house. Castiel was sure he'd broken a mirror somewhere in the past.

Ten minutes later, Gabriel and Samandriel came downstairs. The second certainly seemed like he'd been forced to, Gabe was smiling and inserting gummy bears in his mouth.

"Ready to go?"

The place Balthazar wasn't as crowded as Castiel thought it'd be. It was called Shangri-La and Castiel didn't have a clue how he'd describe it if someone asked him to.

Shangri-La was on the outside little else than a club, not as flashy as most of them, but a club after all. It also lacked a queue of people waiting to be allowed to pass or typical underages.

Nobody asked him for an ID and when he entered the establishment his doubts were resolved. The place wasn't a club after all, even if the decorations pointed straight to his first supposition. The lights were dim but there was no earsplitting music.

The establishment was like a purse in which someone threw a lot of varied things carelessly. Not only it appeared a club when it was in fact a restaurant, but it also was kind of a bar. There was a dance floor and arcade games, not to mention the curious tiki decorations on the lounge area. Waiters and waitresses wore plain elegant black and white uniforms but the simplicity was compensated with the large quantities of makeup both genders sported. Faces served as canvas for masterpieces.

The party of five Novaks found an empty booth near the arcade area, to which Samandriel went straight to.

"Really, Balthazar? Couldn't find a place a little more blatant?" asked Uriel with a face of disgust.

"Oh, come on, Smarty-pants! Don't tell me you dislike my choice" Balthazar laughed at Uriel's sour-lemon face. "I think this place is lovely"

Uriel grunted and rolled his eyes.

"You spend too much time building appearances, Uriel" stated Gabriel, elbows propped on the table. "Watch out or you'll become some of those clannish straight-laced guys mom's been warning us about. Hmm… Now that I think of it, your name _did_ come up during that conversation"

"Oh shut up, Gabriel" retorted Uriel.

"I like it. Here." Said Castiel, not because he was asked to establish his opinion but because he felt in the need to say something, anything.

"See? That's already four against one, Uriel. Suck it up." Said Gabriel animatedly.

Soon after a waiter arrived to take their order. The man was young, no more than twenty-five, Castiel estimated. He was wearing the uniform –long-sleeved white shirt with a black vest on top and black khaki pants—but his face… not a single true feature could be made out of it, but he looked beautiful. The lower part of his face was white, but his eyes were brought out by the detailed makeup surrounding them. Yellow and red paint, intercalated, added mysteriousness to the man. His lips were also painted scarlet and plastic shiny beads trailed a path along the lines of the design. They were basically bright flames encircling his eyes.

"Welcome to Shangri-La. My name is Frank, and I'll be your server tonight. Are you ready to order?"

"Oh, I can surely think about a few things you could help me with tonight, pretty boy" said Balthazar displaying white teeth and shimmering eyes.

"Uhh…" If it weren't for all that makeup Castiel could've sworn the man, Frank, was blushing.

"Don't listen to him, Frank. He can't keep it in his pants today. Or any other day for that matter." Gabriel was going through the menu while he hummed a melody, probably from a cartoon.

Cas surveyed the set of choices as well, and it surprised him to find such a wide range of victuals. You could pick something ordinary like pizza, burgers or hotdogs, or you could go fancy, filet mignon, roasted duck, caramelized pears. If you had a sweet tooth there was always dessert, an impressively vast list of them; drinks, too.

They ordered their food; Castiel settled for something simple, cheeseburger and curled fries. Cas thought he saw the Frank guy smiling at Balthazar shyly before leaving them to enjoy their meal.

"So…" said Gabriel, munching stuffed baked potatoes "Is it time to open the presents yet?"

"Gabriel, what are you, five?" Uriel was much more relaxed now by the looks of it, his tie was loose and he didn't appear to have a stick up his ass all the time.

The music was getting louder now, although it was still bearable, still enjoyable. Lights weren't plain dim and yellow, they were Technicolor, roaming cracks and gaps of the establishment.

"You bought me something, Gabe? Well, that's a miracle. Let's just hope it isn't a Whoopee cushion or a giant rubber chicken" said Balthazar amused.

"I bet he got you an alarm clock vibrator" Samandriel joked, his mood had lightened thanks to the arcade games, thank Heaven.

Uriel choked, he wasn't as liberal as the rest of the party, not counting Castiel. "Oh, that'd be brilliant!" wide eyes from Cas, Uriel and Samandriel stared at him. "What? You asked and I responded honestly. Can you imagine waking up to—"

"Okay, okay, I so don't wanna hear that, Bal!" intervened Gabriel shaking his head sideways. Balthazar shrugged and continued eating his fettuccine carbonara rather lewdly to everyone's uncomfortableness.

Gabriel ducked and emerged with a medium-sized wrapped box with a golden ribbon at the top. "Happy birthday, bro"

"Thanks, Gabe!" Balthazar took the box and opened it just to find something huge and deformed wrapped in newspaper. After retiring three layers of scandalous tabloids something inside exploded and Balthazar's face was left tainted with black ink.

"It washes out, I swear" Gabe was laughing hard now, Balthazar was sort of pissed. After ten more layers of tedious work, a small black box appeared.

"That's it? No more wrapping or inky messes?" asked Samandriel sipping at his beverage.

"That's it!"

Balthazar opened the box, his eyes widened a little and his mouth was slightly parted. A skeletonized watch with brown leather strap and tanned bezel was the content of the simple black box.

"Wow. That looks expensive" Samandriel was quite talkative that day, his left foot tapping impatiently, he wanted to go back to the games.

"It was in offer. Aeromatic 1912 I believe" Gabriel was now distracted from the conversation, he didn't hear Balthazar's gratitude. Apparently Philadelphia cheese cake was all it took to get Gabriel's full attention.

"I got something for you too, Balthazar" said Uriel.

"Smarty-pants, never thought you were one for sentiments" said Balthazar. His birthday celebration was going better than he thought; maybe a pair of hookers, like last year, wasn't the best gift.

"Here" he handed his younger brother an envelope.

"Ohoho, Uriel!" it was a multiple gift card for three hundred dollars.

"Couldn't decide in what you'd spend it so… multiple"

Castiel grabbed the certificate "Well, you have plenty of options. You could buy clothes and shoes, spend it in food… ah, is this place a Spa or something?"

Balthazar snatched it back. "If I spend it on a Spa trip, I'll invite you, Cassy. The massages they give are dazzling"

"Right"

"I don't know about you guys, but I think I'll go to the arcade" blurted out Samandriel. "Wanna come, Castiel? They've got coin-operated Pacman and Donkey Kong and Mortal Kombat! And also space hockey, even Poker if you want to gain some bucks"

"Oh, I'm going!" said Gabriel finishing his cheese cake and rising up, hitting Uriel on his way.

The waiter came back, this time his demeanor wasn't that introverted. He smiled, a lot, and he batted his eyelashes a couple of times, not that he needed to do that to get Balthazar's attention.

"Could we have the bill, please?" asked Uriel. The meal was all on him, he'd insisted.

"Sure thing" said the man picking up the plates and glasses gracefully.

When he returned he gave the check to Balthazar instead of Uriel. The words _I finished my shift. Meet me at the tiki bar _were written on the back. That was Balthazar's cue for leaving Castiel with Uriel.

Castiel felt uncomfortable now. He liked Uriel, but he wasn't someone all that approachable. He didn't feel like doing some awkward small talk, or going to the arcade.

"Wanna go back home?" asked Uriel checking his watch "I have to study for an exam"

Cas was relieved. "Yeah, sure. But let me go to the bathroom first. Too much milkshake" Uriel nodded and went back to his cell phone.

There were more people in Shangri-La Castiel noticed. With the advance of the evening, music grew louder and lights crazier. The dance floor wasn't empty and the stools in the bar were occupied.

Castiel made his way to the bathrooms. When he entered he found an impressively bright room with black and white tiles on the floor. There were three stalls and three urinals, which were the most colorful things in the bathroom. They were crimson and shaped in the form of female mouths, teeth included. Castiel chose a stall.

Music was deafening, but the changes of light were still gentle. He made his way through the crowd but stopped dead when he saw a guy kissing… no, devouring a blonde girl. Her fingers stroking his hair and a hand clutching his back.

That was how Castiel discovered his boyfriend, Dean Winchester, making out with no other than Bela Talbot.

* * *

Dean received a call from Sammy informing him that John had crashed the car somewhere in Nebraska. He immediately called Mary in lack of knowledge of what to do. She called John back and said to him everything was fine. That he just needed to wait for when they returned. But his name was Dean Winchester and he was not letting Sammy go back with his drunken father in that damn truck of his, if the damn thing was still running of course.

The drive to Omaha had done nothing to sooth his nerves or calm his anger. The volume of the music had gone all the way up and the windows were opened to cool his body. He felt like he could punch his father over and over for putting Sam in danger. The man couldn't care less about himself, or his sons. Not even, the good one, the one who wasn't rotten and filthy as he'd called Dean.

Dean banged the wheel with his open hand and drove faster.

When Sammy had said he was okay, that John was okay, he'd really meant it. The car wasn't so bad, just a little dented in the front, and the air bags had rejected any damage to the passengers. Anyway, Sam was pissed. They being okay didn't take away the fact John had risked their lives just because he couldn't let the damn flask out of his mouth.

When they returned home, John been given a fine, Mary was there. She sent both boys to their rooms but they wouldn't hear a word about it.

"Dammit, John! What's wrong with you?" she yelled. Her eyes pierced him and her lips quivered.

"Mary, please. I can explain."

"Explain, what, huh? WHAT?" her pacing up and down was suffocating. Dean and Sam were in the kitchen just listening a muttering under their breaths every time John spoke.

"You could've gotten Sam killed! Don't you get that?"

"It wasn't my intention and you know it"

"Of course it wasn't, you fool! Nobody wants their kid to be dead"

"Then why, why are you accusing me, huh? Because I happen to love my son?"

Sam curled his fists into balls and counted to ten.

"Love? LOVE? You don't love anyone, John. You just have time for that bottle of whiskey… You don't care about us…" her voice broke and she started to sob. Dean and Sam headed right to the living room where their parents were but Mary shot them a steely stare that said: stay the hell out of this or I swear I'll explode.

John tried to pull her into his arms but she backed off.

"How long has it been?" she asked, her hand on her chest and her eyes wetted by tears.

"How long has _what_ been, Mary?" replied John, his jaw clenched and his words less slurred.

"Do you even remember when you weren't like… like this? Do you remember when we met?" Mary laughed a hollow laughter "I guess not. You see, I married you thinking you were the love of my life—"

"Mary, please. I love you" he walked towards her but once more she retreated from him.

"Don't. Let me talk." Clearing her throat she raised her voice "And you are, John. God save me but you are. It's the only reason I've found to let you stay for all these years."

John's inebriation was vaporizing. He could hear and understand every word his wife said, and he wished he couldn't, he wished it badly but he was on edge.

"Yours sons love you, I'm sure they do. But how could you risk Sam's life?"

"Fuck, Mary! I didn't!" his voice was no longer a conciliating one, he was shouting.

"Yeah, right. Because getting drunk while driving with your son as shotgun is such a good way to keep him safe"

"It could've happened even if I was sober"

Dean wanted to shout and yell and hurt his father but there was another part of him that was being shred to pieces by this discussion. John was a terrible father, there was no denying that, but he still was the only father he'd have.

"You weren't" said Mary flatly.

John closed his eyes and sighed loudly, he was getting damn tired of fighting with Mary over something so meaningless, everyone was fine, he should be sleeping his eternal hangover.

"And what about Dean?" Mary's voice was ferocious, and sour, as if it had been stored for forever waiting to come out.

"What about him?"

"Drop the act, John. Stop acting like a dick and start being a man"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

Dean and Sam were both seated on the floor with their heads leaned over cabinets. Dean's ear sharpened when he heard his name enter the conversation. He dreaded hearing what his parents had under their sleeves. He wanted to dig a hole in the ground and wait until the storm was over.

"Why do you treat your own son like that, John?" she was crying now, no doubt about that "Who he loves changes nothing"

"He's a fucking cocksucker, Mary. That's what he is and that ain't the boy I raised"

Loathing for what his body was doing, Dean shut his eyes as hard as he could. The tears welling up in his eyes were the confirmation of how hurt he was by his father's attitude about him. He'd tried to deny feeling anything in spite of what he could find, and now here it was… Public for his little brother to see. He was hurt and his walls were crumbling down. The rejection and hatred his father gave him were stabs of knife to his chest.

"Shut. The. _Fuck_. Up." Retorted Mary. "He is your son, _our_ son. Do you really believe he's alright with the way you've been treating him? Do you think he _deserves_ to be punished for who he is? Or is it that you realize how badly you're hurting him and decide to not give a damn, huh? You're nothing but a self-centered son of a bitch!"

"No, no, no. That's not what this is about. He's my son and Heaven knows I'd die for him in a heartbeat"

_Yeah, right. _Dean felt his chest going up and down fast.

"But… if he could be normal… I don't know, if he could go back to what he was before meeting that fucked up Castiel or whatever… If he—"

"If he was a heartless bastard like you are?" emotion detached her tone again. The silence that followed weighed like lead, invading the Winchesters with undesirable expectative of what would happen, who would speak first, who would drop the other shoe.

Mary looked at John straight in the eye and gathered all courage she had left to ask of him what she should've demanded years ago "I want the divorce"

The single word, _divorce, _shook Dean until he was no longer distant. Ever since he was little the separation of his parents seemed like the end of the world, planet Earth wouldn't keep spinning if they did. After growing up, Dean noticed, the fear hadn't abandoned him. Divorce still seemed like the friggin' apocalypse.

"No… no, Mary. Please, please" broke down John. "I love you, please..."

"I should've done this long, long time a-ago" Mary's eyes were puffy and her words choked.

"I'll change, Mary. I promise"

"You've said that before… Just… just leave. You can come back for your things other day, but I don't want you here. Not anymore."

Sam was angered and it pained him to see his mother coming down like this, to see the emptiness in his father's words, to know none of it was real. He had been praying for this happen for months now, but he hadn't confided it to anyone, certainly not to Dean. He still loved his father too much for his own good, Sam didn't.

"Mary…"

"No. Just… go, John. And please don't come back"

Dean had stormed out of the house wanting to speak with his father despite his mother's protests. He had to speak with him, he had to. If he could make things better, if he could drag Dad out of his problem with alcohol, if his mother could give his old man another chance, if Sammy could understand the gravity of it all, if he could get his father to accept him for who he was. Too many ifs.

By the time he was out of the house, John's dented pickup truck was nowhere to be seen. The spring night was breezy and some stars sculpting the night sky.

The Impala was a good runner, and for a good half hour the speed and the road ahead him was all Dean needed to digest what was happening with his life. He went back to town defeated; he needed something, anything to lift the heavy weight off his shoulders. He had failed as a son, a brother, and he was just done with everything.

His neck ached when he walked inside the weird looking restaurant/bar called Shangri-La. Surely no one there would recognize him, he'd given up places like this when he turned sixteen, when John's problem got worse.

The atmosphere was packed with young satisfaction and the air smelled funny, a combination of all kind of things: food, sweets, alcohol, smoke, pyrotechnics.

Dean went to the bar and asked for a double whiskey, and then another, and another. He had promised himself he'd never resort to alcohol if he were in trouble, but then again, he'd also promised himself he'd made his father proud to call him son. Promises weren't to be fulfilled but to be broken.

For the first time Dean paid attention to the bartender. The girl was short and her bosom generous, but what made him look at her twice was her face. Pale skin was painted in the most bizarre and eye-catching way he'd ever seen. The eye shadow work was beyond pretty, first an electric blue line circling the eye, then a fuchsia one on the upper part and a yellow on the bottom; her brows were painted neon green and her lashes were exceptionally long and numerous, so every time blinked it gave the impression of closing a horizontal black door. Glitter adorned her cheeks and her plump lips were shiny due to the cherry gloss.

"Anything else, darling?" asked the woman, her voice was squeaky. It irritated him.

"No"

"Alright then" she said and went to clean glasses.

Dean tried calling Cas, just to hear his voice, his breathing, to know not everything was bad, to be reassured he still was good at something, but Castiel had left his phone God knows where, and he couldn't be reached. Dean sighed and lowered his head to let it rest on the counter.

After another fifteen minutes she came back holding a bottle of butterscotch schnapps "What can I get you, sweetheart?"

"Dammit, I'm fine!" replied Dean aggressively. He didn't speak to women like that, but man, he was tired of it all.

"Mind your tone, boy" said the bargirl, her red hair moving with the grace of a flame. "I wasn't talking to you"

Dean looker to his right, and his insides went wild with revulsion.

One stool away from him, Bela Talbot was seated, and she was grinning, _grinning_ at him. _Bitch._

"Hello, Dean" said she leaving her seat to get the one right next to his.

"Bela" Dean couldn't hate this moment any less. Here he was trying to drown his misfortunes and fucking Bela Talbot had to appear to mock him.

"Don't get so excited to see me, Dean" she turned sideways to get a better look at him and size him up.

"What do you want? A friggin' box of chocolate or something?" His words were beginning to slur. He had to stop drinking or he'd get drunk. Like John.

"A Buttery Nipple, please"

"What?"

Bela rolled her eyes and then smiled "Buttery. Nipple. A drink? You really don't do the drinking stuff"

"Oh" Dean bowed his head, half ashamed of being ignorant and half infuriated to still be talking to this harpy.

She thanked the bargirl and redirected her attention to Dean "Are you alright, Dean?"

Dean asked for another whiskey, then tequila. "S'nothing"

She shifted closer to him and put her hand on his forearm, a light touch he wanted but couldn't sweep away.

"You can tell me everything" she whispered in his ear and he wanted to pull away, so much, yet he didn't.

He looked into her eyes and all that energy he'd been accumulating, that intense desire to hurt someone was eating him alive. And then she kissed him, lips closed, but still a kiss. He thought about Cas, what would happen if he knew, if he'd break up with him, if he'd hated him. And then he didn't think because all he knew was that he was on his feet and his tongue was reaching for Bela's. For him it was just a pair of lips, and an eager tongue, they belonged to nobody. Her back hit the wall and his leg settle between hers. Her short silky dress felt like a curtain of water. He felt her fingers touching his hair carelessly and her hand on his back. As a needy breath escaped her throat Bela spun them exposing Dean's face to the crowd. She panted and placed her hand dangerously close to his groin, and he opened his eyes.

Blue eyes looked at him. Cas' looked as if his heart had been tore apart. His mouth made a little o and his skin was pale. Dean noticed as well, that he'd started shaking, and he let go of Bella when Cas made his way through the mass, bumping people on his way out, not really caring if he did.

"Stay the fuck away from him" said a short blonde guy, Gabriel.

"I -I j-jusst… Cas, pleeease it wassn't" he groaned frustrated. He couldn't even explain himself to the boy he was in love with, the boy he'd let down as well.

Castiel was standing in the back; Gabriel and Samandriel were creating a barrier between him and Dean. Uriel was behind Cas watching solemnly the teenage drama.

"It wasn't—" hiccup "It's notwhat it—" hiccup "sheems"

Castiel felt the truth sinking deep into him. Dean and Bela. Dean had betrayed him. Maybe he wasn't worth Dean's time, maybe uncle Zach had been wrong when he said his big stupid speech and Castiel was the one who didn't deserve to be Dean's love interest.

"Dean, hey, Dean!" Samandriel was supporting him because he was leaning forwards having lost his balance "Maybe you should go"

"You're not a-a part of this Samandreeliel. Lemme speak to Cas!"

"Okay, buddy. Shut the fuck up" Gabriel was short, but he was strong. Dean learned this as the blonde guy got hold of the hem of his shirt and shook him.

Dean glance to the side and there stood his angel. The only angel he'd ever have, the one who despite all his faults loved him, _worshipped_ him. His eyes were stark and sadness drew the corners of his mouth. He looked as if he wanted to cry his heart out, he probably did. And then a tear ran down his cheek.

"Babyyy, Cass… I'm I'm so sorry. I din't. FUCK! Cas, pleaase just for-forgive mme, babe. I…"

"Now, that's enough!" spat Gabriel. "You messed up, now you stay the fuck away from him or I swear I'll break something of yours."

"_Fuck off_"

"Castiel is my brother, okay? And there's no freaking way I'm letting you hurt him" Gabe let go of him.

Dean searched for Cas but he was already gone, as well as Gabriel, Samandriel and Uriel. He felt desperate and oh God, so stupid! Tears were streaming down his face and a sharp pain settled in his chest.

"Dean Winchester?" Asked a guy, Dean couldn't really tell who he was.

Next thing he knew he was staggering back nearly falling over a table. "Stay away from Cassy or it'll be worse than a punch on your pretty face, boy"


	13. Chapter 13

**Guys, this journey has been amazing. Thank you for reading and reviewing.**

**The story ends in the next chapter, I'm just thanking in advance for you awesomeness.**

**Let's get down to business!**

* * *

The upcoming nausea and brightness of the sunlight piercing through the windows made him woke up with a startle. His head was aching and a stinging pain troubled his jaw causing him to wince at the movement.

Dean crawled out of bed feeling his insides revolving, his eyes shut and a foul taste in his mouth. Every half-step closer to the bathroom was undiluted torture, vomit threatening to escape, the jolts his stomach gave feeling as if someone was kicking him relentlessly. The brilliance of the light stabbed his eyes even through closed lids, and on top of all, the fatigue of his muscles scourged him.

At last long, he bent his head over the toilet bowl. A hot throbbing sensation settled at the pit of his stomach, letting pass to the warm and corrupted contents of his stomach. Leaning his head on the closest wall his sight grew sharper before images turned double and were moving in every direction, provoking queasiness and uncertainty on what to do next.

"Fuck"

Dean had never experienced a hangover, a proper, disgusting, I'll-never-drink-so-fucking-much-in-my-life-again, hangover. Ever. He'd had some beers, just as an experiment or to have a good time with some friends, but never liked drinking to the point to let them do this to him. But last night? Last night had been induced by confusion and desperation. A self torment to alleviate the ominous pain.

After throwing up two more times he felt a tad better, good thing it was over. However, the acidity he was left with and the soaring throat told him otherwise.

Going back to his bedroom to collapse on his bed he noticed a glass of water and some aspirins resting on top of the nightstand. There was a piece of paper as well; it read _We'll talk about this later_ in Mary's handwriting.

Dean groaned, his head was thumping and he couldn't recall any time in the past he'd felt as bad as this. Then, it wasn't just the physical vexations. He began to revoke the events of the previous night. He remembered being at a bar drinking and drinking, shot after shot. Then a girl had approached him, her face blurred but the accent he couldn't forget. Bela.

Soft, intoxicated lips locked with his. He could almost see baby blue eyes and pull dark soft hair. But for some reason he wasn't able to.

Cas stared at him, shocked and hurt. Then Bela was pressing her breasts against his plain chest. Then he was yelling. And after that he was getting punched in the jaw by a debauched man he recognized as Balthazar.

The memories flooded his mind and with a pang of regret and feeling his heart heavy, Dean curled in bed, wrapped in the duvet and sobbing as Cas questioned his actions silently. Hot tears welled his eyes as he cried himself to sleep.

Dean slept seven hours.

"Mphmm" his head on his hands, and elbows on his knees.

The kitchen's lights were a little too intense so he covered his eyes with the back of his hand. The floor was warm and the air compressed. Dean swore to himself not to do this to himself ever again, no matter what reasons had led him to this hangover thing, he wasn't going back.

"Just woke up?"

Sam was preparing a sandwich. There was uneasiness in his voice Dean didn't catch at first. He was feeling too bad to notice anything not being the pounding in his skull or the memories scurrying from one side of his mind to the other.

He simply nodded.

"Why, Dean? Why are you doing this?" asked Sam now fully focused on his big brother and putting aside the dish holding his very green sandwich.

Dean looked up, shame all over his face. What was he doing indeed? Getting drunk to ease the pain of his parents' divorce caused by his father's drinking problem? Appeasing alcohol consequences by consuming more alcohol? Following Daddy's footsteps?

"Dunno" said he scratching the back of his head and sitting on a stool.

"You… you don't know?" Sam crossed his arms over his chest and took a step back. It was the position he adopted when he tried to understand something stupid, meaningless, the one when he was mad over other people's idiocy.

"Exactly… You made coffee or s'mthing? M'head _hurts_" Dean wanted an out. He wasn't gonna discuss this with his little brother, or anyone else. His mother would demand an explanation and he'd give it, but not this. Sam wasn't asking for the same thing, he was looking deeper for something more.

Sam shook his head in disbelief and put both hands on the counter leveling his head with Dean's. "Is this because Dad and Mom are getting a divorce?"

Knowing there was no exit and that Sammy wouldn't stop asking until he got an explanation, Dean decided to respond honestly. After all, who else was there to talk about this?

"Kinda"

"So what, you go get drunk to be like Dad?" his eyes flaring and his tone mordacious.

"It's not like that, Sammy. _Fuck_. It's like my brain's being drilled!" he got up to drink some water and prepare some coffee.

"You deserve it" he sounded disappointed but not offensive towards Dean.

"Bitch"

"Jerk"

Sam, as good Samaritan as he was, prepared some breakfast for Dean, albeit it was already noon. The older Winchester just listened to Sam talk about school, projects, and the uncomfortable ride back home from school. Mary had had to ask permission to drive him home, Sam tried to talk her out of it but she wouldn't listen of him asking any friends or walking all the way back home.

"Sorry" said Dean, his mouth full of omelette.

"Yeah. You should be" both drank some banana smoothie and remained in silence for the next minutes, neither sure of what to say.

The not-so-greasy, yet huge breakfast and the all natural banana smoothie Sam had prepared, added to the coffee, water, aspirins, and seven hours of sleep made Dean felt, if not perfect somewhat refreshed. His head wasn't hurting so much and the nausea had reduced to occasional, bearable flips of his stomach, settling down the new food.

"Cas drunk too?" asked Sam.

"What? Why?"

"He didn't make it to school today" said Sam carefully, he didn't want to push any strings but he had to know what was going on.

Cas. How could he do something like that to Cas? How could he? A brand new wave of emotions overwhelmed him. Shame and remorse dragging him into an ocean of grief and self-hatred. Blue eyes haunted him once more; trying to leave them untouched in a corner hadn't work, for now the pain and regret were stronger, gnawing his insides with harshness.

Sam straightened in his chair feeling concerned for his brother's faraway look "Dean?"

Dean's Adam's apple bobbed up and down, he was staring into the nothingness and…

"Dean!" yelled out Sam getting up to get closer to Dean.

"I…" he needed to confess his sins to his brother, he needed to confide this to someone, to try to make his burden a little lighter, to ask anyone, who was willing, for forgiveness. He needed Cas to forgive him.

"What did you do?" Sam had always had the conviction that if something happened between his brother and Castiel, Dean was the first to be blamed, or at least inspected. He had witnessed the adoration Dean and Cas professed for each other, but Castiel was more stable, Dean on the other hand tended to recklessness.

"I… Dammit, Sammy!"

"WHAT?"

"I fucked up, okay?! I was a dick and I fucked up_ big time_" Dean stood up too and walked to the living room to get away from Sam, but the little brat was at his heels.

"Dean…" his tone was more serene, more understanding. He wanted answers.

Lately this room has seen enough family fights, Dean thought bitterly. He spun around to face Sam but couldn't make eye contact.

He tried to begin once again. There was no way of him dealing with this shit all by himself, even if that was the way he treated problems most of the time. This wasn't just him repressing unhappiness over his parent's marriage or lack of motivation; this was him being an ass to the person who mattered the most.

"I was drunk and I… I _kissed_ someone. And he saw" Dean was chewing the inside of his cheek and playing with the seam of the couch.

Sam could feel the heat in his face, was Dean really so stupid?

"Are you serious?" his voice was rising towards the end of the question, then it was safe to say he was shouting "Are you out of your fucking mind, Dean?!"

Dean couldn't find the strength to talk back, Sam was right. He had been out of his mind. He had been oh so, so stupid.

"Who was it?"

"Who was who?"

"The person you kissed, you moron!"

"Oh" Dean lowered his head even more, he'd really fucked up. "Bela" the word was no more than a whisper and it felt like venom in his mouth. Poisonous and vile.

Sam tried counting to ten to calm himself but couldn't. He really believed Dean and Cas to be happy with the company of the other. They were so pathetically in love, dovey-lovey eyes and romantic as an enamored couple could be. They were happy.

And Dean had thrown it all away. For Bela.

"Isn't that the one harassing you both?"

"Sorta"

"You are an asshole. How could you? Don't you know how much Cas loves you? Haven't you seen the idolatry in his eyes when he sees you, like you were a God or something?"

The hotness residing at the back of his eyes told Dean he was going to shed bitter tears, but he refrained them for he couldn't let Sammy see him falling apart.

"And I guess it wasn't just a peck, right? Chaste kiss?" silence "You had to go and fuck up kissing that girl who was the first to want to take you away from Cas… You're unbelievable, Dean."

"I was—"

"Drunk. Right. Because in this family alcohol has always been the answer to everything, right? I was drunk, pff" a little voice told Sam he was being perhaps too hard on Dean, but he was paying no attention to details, he was staring at a bigger picture. Dean was the one to blame.

"You know what, Sammy? I don't have to discuss this with you" Dean was marching towards the stairs to ostracize in his bedroom but Sam was faster than him and cut his way.

"What did he do?"

Dean looked everywhere, never meeting Sam's eyes.

"God, Dean! You didn't even try to talk to him? What's wrong with you, man?"

"I TRIED, OKAY? I DID! BUT HIS COUSINS WOULDN'T LET ME ANYWHERE NEAR HIM!"

"That why you got a bruise?" Sam's voice was more even by now, his countenance diminishing anger.

Touching his jaw Dean winced at the sharp pain. Balthazar was strong no doubt.

Sam placed his hand on Dean's shoulder trying to serene his brother succeeding "You gonna talk to him?" his voice dropped another level and it was warmhearted.

"I guess" said Dean shrugging his shoulders.

When Dean awoke it was night. His mother wanted to talk to him so he did. She wanted to know why he'd done it, he answered the truth. She gave him a lecture he didn't really need and then dismiss him making him promise he'd never do it again, he'd never become a second John.

Dean told her nothing about Cas. How he, Dean, had managed to besmirch the only thing that made him truly joyous, that made him feel blessed and special as he'd never felt before. He didn't tell her how he had hurt Cas by making out with a skank like Bela Talbot.

It was Friday in a few hours. Dean couldn't sleep all night thinking and rethinking what he could say so Cas would forgive him. He thought about visiting him but most likely, his cousins would beat the crap out of him before he got a glimpse of Cas. Every combination of words seemed meaningless and empty. Cas was too important and perfect and Dean wasn't. Insecurity was eating Dean alive, he couldn't stay in the same position for more than two minutes and with each roll and tug of the duvet he'd remember Castiel.

The bed was just another reminder of Cas. Dean recalled being there with the blue eyed boy, lying tangled in each other's arms breathing warm air, and smelling the scent of Cas. Cas completely bare, trusting him enough to let Dean see him in his most vulnerable state, Cas allowing Dean to suck him until there was nothing but pleasure exuding from him. Cas' expression when he came, eyelids fluttering and mouth gasping for air, and his words _"Dean… Dean… Oh God, I love you, love you, love…" _forever engraved in Dean's mind.

The floor was hard but at least he knew he hadn't been there with Cas, not really. Probably never will and the thought of it makes him want to turn back in time, get a Delorean or something.

* * *

Castiel had done nothing productive that Thursday. He stayed in bed excusing himself and arguing he had a fever. No one checked his temperature though, everyone knew the reason of his conduct but there wasn't a single soul who'd try to approach him and coax him into talking. Not that he wanted to talk, he wanted to forget.

The images kept flashing back. Dean and Bela, the girl holding onto Dean as if he were a branch she needed to avoid falling into an abyss, Dean's hands on her tiny waist kissing her with such fierceness Cas never thought was possible if it weren't with him. He thought Dean was different with him, that he meant more than a flushed body aching for release, but he wasn't. He was utterly sure he wasn't.

Most of his day was spent on the bed, and most of the time he wished to God he were asleep. He desired to fall into unconsciousness, away from the world and away from Dean. He wished to be reunited with his parents wherever they were.

His reasoning was simple. He was alone, more alone than he'd ever been in his whole life. He felt incomplete, all thanks to Dean Winchester. Dean who had shown him there was something else than academics and books, who had taught him to want and ask and take, to love and to feel. He'd learned to trust someone, to give everything, to be exposed and fear not, because Dean would always be there to catch him.

After tasting the exquisiteness of life and love, living without it would be just wrong. It'd feel bad and his heart would beat slower and slower 'til there was no heartbeat at all. He'd decay each day just as a cut flower does, being withered at the end. And who wants a withered flower?

He wasn't hungry but he could do with some tea. On the way downstairs he stopped. The muffled voices of his uncle and aunt made him cringe, he needn't speak with them. They would inquire painful questions, and he would have to answer because he owed them that much. He owed them everything. They let him live, eat, and coexist with them so he had to be grateful, he had to.

"I told you that Dean Winchester was no good for Castiel" said uncle Zachariah, he was obviously trying to keep his voice low but he wasn't being too successful.

"Shh" said Camille "I'm not saying otherwise, Zach. But we shouldn't really meddle with this stuff, Castiel didn't ask for help of any kind and it'd be better if you kept your big nose out of other people's business"

Castiel's heart was racing. Why were his uncles arguing about this?

"But-!"

"No, Zack! You will stay out of this! What kind of impression will it give an old man fighting with a boy, hm? What will people think about you, about us? I'm no less happy about this than you, but we have to be reasonable, honey." She sighed and Cas supposed she had to be calming Zachariah "Let's give Castiel the opportunity to fix this mess and leave that boy once and for all, okay?"

Castiel ran up to his bedroom and closed the door with a silent thump. His uncle wanted to fight with Dean or was he planning to insult him, just a verbal fight? He didn't consider neither option. He wanted to cut with Dean, to forget him and Bela and Lawrence so he slept.

Dawn greeted him dull and grey. Birds were chirping gleefully and his mind felt clear and resolute. He took a hot shower and had scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast. Uriel drove him to school along with Anna and Samandriel. None of them spoke.

His day was being fair. He hadn't seen Dean and it was almost lunch time, if he could avoid him there and in English the day would be considered an accomplishment.

Castiel pretended he hadn't felt so in the edge of excruciating pain as he had. He told himself constantly he wasn't an emotional wreck, that he hadn't spent his day clutching a pillow and praying it was all a nightmare, that Dean loved him, that Dean would never hurt him. He erased those memories in which he was sobbing for a lost love, the only love he'd had. He imagined he never cried.

* * *

"Hello, Dean"

Dean was taking out a book from his locker when he heard the voice. The other books he was holding almost fell; he didn't know how to control himself.

"Cat got your tongue, Winchester?" continued the voice, sticky and oh so pernicious.

"What do you want, Bela?" asked Dean flatly, his eyes daggers.

"Ooo, no need to be so rude!" a lock of her blond hair tucked between her fingers. "I just wanted to see how you were. I'll have to teach how to drink properly, my dear" she rested white hand on his shoulder enjoying the flesh beneath it.

Dean moved his arm violently brushing her off with a swift movement.

"_Don't_ touch me" he snapped.

She crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the floor, her lips pursed. "Well, you weren't so alien to my touch two days ago, were you?"

"I… Nothing happened, okay? It was a mistake, a fucking mistake, Bela. Nothing else"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes"

"Tell me this is a mistake, Winchester!" and then her mouth was on his, she was gripping his head with both her hands pulling him in, but Dean was trying to break it.

He did. He shoved her trying not to be so violent, after all she was smaller and he possessed much more force and didn't wanna hurt her. That wasn't his intention but Bela made it hard for him not to hit her with all his might.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?!" shouted Dean keeping good distance from her. The books were scattered all over the floor.

"I'm trying to get some sense into you, Dean! You're wasting your time!"

"Oh, I'm sure of it" Dean picked up his books rapidly. "Being here with you what else could I be doing, huh? Wasting my time"

"No, no, no!" her voice erratic and high-pitched. "Can't you see?"

"See what, Bela? See WHAT?" he was getting tired of her bullshit, she was no more than a capricious girl who thought she was above everyone else.

Her fists curled and her lips tight "I love you, Dean!"

"Please, don't give me this crap" he yanked his bag and started walking away from her but she followed him. "I don't have time for this. I've got a class"

"Dean!"

"I said no! Stop it"

"Very well" she stopped in her tracks and her voice indicated she was about to say something else, so Dean reluctantly faced her.

"Perhaps I should have a little chat with your boyfriend… or ex-boyfriend? I wonder if Castiel wants any details, or maybe I could… you know, tell him what we did after" her tone was malicious and Dean felt his stomach gave a twist.

"Fucking liar! You stay away from him, Bela. I'm warning you. If I hear you talked to him, hell, if I hear you breathed the same air he did, I swear to God, I swear I won't fucking care you're a woman."

Bela's eyes were wide open with fear. Dean was menacing and it was scary to watch him acting like this, especially if one was the object of such disdain and hate. She was simply paralyzed.

"You hear me?!" his voice resounded in the now empty hall.

Bela nodded her head barely moving at all.

Dean went to his class, the one he was already late, and left the blond girl standing like a lost child. He couldn't care less about what had happened with her. All he saw when he mentioned Castiel's name was red. He couldn't let a monster like Bela Talbot near his boyfriend. If he still was, of course. But even if Cas' considered himself no longer related to Dean, he would fight for him, he would fight for what he loved the most.

The sun of May reflected on the white board making it difficult for the students in the back of the room to get a good look at it. Various names, meanings and semi-occasional doodles, their function not very clear.

The clock on the wall indicated English IV class would end in less than ten minutes. Dean felt every second like a never ending litany, the tortoise like pace of the minutes dragged by reluctantly. Crowley's words came and went; Dean never knew what the man had talked about, just a few random words he could remember.

He felt his skin perspire, his body was racing as if he was in a marathon and the only thing he could occupy his mind at the moment was whether Cas hated him yet or not. There had to be a reason, a strong one, to get Cas skip a class. He never did, especially English.

Enormous disappointment and preoccupation attacked him when he saw the seat behind his empty because it meant Cas wasn't going to attend to the class. What if he had stayed at home today as he had yesterday?

The constant and incessant beating of his heart trying to jump out of his chest caused Dean to swallow in anticipation. Gulps of air didn't help that much, and people seated next to him appeared to be concerned by his outer shell.

The hall abounding with teenage students was a cage nobody left without being pushed or shoved. The bodies lingering more than the necessary to make small talk, loud cheerings or hollers, guys playing to be tough by humiliating the younger ones and people praying not to be noticed or swept by the current of bodies.

Two to the left. Three to the right. One more to the left and then all the way clockwise. The door of the locker opened gracefully to let a pair of slender pale hands deposit a couple of books.

Castiel felt his body relax as the last period was about to begin. He had miraculously accomplished his purpose avoiding Dean for the whole day. It was hard to believe. He'd thought Dean would follow him and explain himself, to at least cast a guilty glance at him, but he didn't. Castiel resented this feeling, this need to be around Dean, to tell him about all the little things that occurred to him at school.

Cas shook his head and close the metal door.

Dean's face so close to his turn his breathing erratic and he wished he could punch himself in the guts right there.

The shifting of posture and the tension built up alerted the both of them that neither knew what to do. Some minutes, perhaps two had passed since the bell had ringed and now the corridor was much more vacated.

There was no other than them at the moment, just the two of them breathing each other's air and drowning in each other's eyes. Dean tried to say what he had planned meticulously to say since the day prior but every time his tongue tied and he stuttered without even getting to the first word.

Castiel took one sharp breath and at Dean's stoic silence turned on his heels and walked away. _Fuck._

"Cas!" it was a broken sound, a mingled whimper and sob. His throat closing and forbidding him to talk, breathe, or swallow his now choking saliva.

Castiel flinched at the mention of his name. Dean sounded fragmented, literally, a part from him missing. Something physical.

"Please, Cas… I need to know—"

"No, Dean" still not looking and with his back at him, Castiel only dared to look a little over his shoulder, he could see Dean's shoes and the hem of his jeans. He saw the pair of feet approaching him but he raised a hand to stop the other boy. "Please stay away from me. Please" how he desired to be firmer, to sound like he didn't care, like he had erased and couldn't feel.

"No, Cas." In no time Dean was in front of Castiel, personal space was a nonexistent element in the dynamic of their relationship so Dean was dumbfounded when Cas took a step back. Dean never thought such a minimal gesture could affect him so much. Cas wanted space between them.

"I've got a class" said Cas, no emotion tainting his rough voice. Dean wondered if he would get the same treatment he'd gave Bela. He had said those words to her too. I've got a class.

"If you could just let me explain. I am sorry, Cas. I really am, but you deserve to know why… Can you at least give me that? Try to redeem myself?" Dean fought the urge to stroke Cas' cheek, to feel the soft skin beneath his calloused fingers.

Cas was at a loss of what to do. What did people generally did in such cases? He had no other experience so… If Dean wanted to explain himself then Cas should hear what he'd got to say. But if Dean told lies and deceived Castiel then he would be just a fool, he'd fall again for the plush lips and gleaming eyes. If he denied Dean of an opportunity then he'd wondered for what it could've been and wasn't because of his stubbornness.

"Baby, please, please…" whispered Dean no longer able to resist the urge to touch Cas. His cheek was cool under Dean's touch. Castiel didn't move, his muscles still and his eyes closed. Dean distinguished pain in his angel's features.

"Don't call me that." The voice lacked animosity, it was just a plain statement which hid more but Dean couldn't identify it.

Dean withdrew his hand quickly and inhaled the oat scent of Cas. He nodded brief and curt. How could he have lost Cas, his Cas, over a person he loathed? How did this twisted mind of his worked? Was it sadomasochism, letting go of the one he loved because of a tiny little problem that had been going on ever since he was born? How did he allow this to happen?

"We can uh… discuss this after classes. Uhmm, good day." Said Cas awkwardly, trotting after delivering his lines. He wanted to hear what Dean had to say. But he wouldn't fall for a petty little lie; he'd be stronger than that.

Paralyzed on the spot Dean waited until the gears of his mind confirmed what he thought he heard. Castiel was giving him an opportunity and he wouldn't let it pass. He wouldn't screw up again. He had to make it better.

"I thought you wouldn't come" said Dean, hope seeping through his voice, obvious alleviation when he saw Castiel approaching him.

Cas held a respectable space between them and frowned, the gesture so familiar it broke Dean's insides. "I told you I would, even though I had my doubts about… this"

Dean mumbled something that sounded like _right, _his face was all pink and the prospect of what was to come put him on edge.

Dean leaned back on the wall behind him and exhaled slow. Eyes opened vividly to apologize to the blue irises his green adored.

"That night… at Shangri-La or whatever—" said Dean in a haste "I am sorry. What happened… it's meaningless"

Cas' stare began to feel uncomfortable after a minute, hence Dean broke the visual contact.

"You mean you kissing Bela" stated Cas matter-of-factly.

His anticipated speech wouldn't have place in here, Dean acknowledged. He'd fucked up majorly."Yeah"

"Why?" his steely eyes pierced Dean when the second looked up. Dean flinched under the blue stare and Castiel knew Dean felt regret. Still, he needed to be strong and not be led into temptation.

Dean could feel his feeble walls crumbling down. To be at the mercy of someone like that was terrifying but there was a guilty pleasure in it. Castiel was the one who with a simple gaze could make him break down into pieces, and the only one who could give him the Universe with a shy smile.

"I guess… Look, man. I was there and she was there, and I got drunk. I fucked up and I'm really, really sorry. You don't know how much." Dean was bad at feelings, he wasn't Sam or Mary. He couldn't express himself with the delicacy or tact that was required. Most of the time it was an advantage, but here, with Cas, he felt retarded and stupid.

Castiel pondered Dean's words and thought hardly of his before speaking them.

"So what you're saying is that you kissed her because she was available? Was she the first one you go to when you got drunk?" said that way things were different. Castiel ached at Dean's words because he saw clearly through them. He was being as objective as he could, or he thought he was.

Dean shook his head wildly, his arms crossing repeatedly to deny as well. "No, no. No, Cas. That's not... not what I meant."

"Then I don't understand" it was taking a great chunk of Cas' courage to continue this conversation without choking. His body wasn't as relaxed as it was when he started and he feared letting go of his emotions.

"Cas, listen… Some crap happened and I hit the bottle because I didn't know what to do. I wasn't being myself. I'd never, ever, do that to you if I was actually, you know… aware of it. Never, Cas. You gotta trust me" he was reaching forward but Cas kept recoiling.

"You said it was meaningless"

"Yes"

"It wasn't. Not for me."

Dean palmed his face. He had a special talent to mess up lately. That or Cas wanted to torture him, which was fine, if it meant Cas would let him into his life yet again.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I am stupid and selfish and I don't deserve you…" the words felt true, they were a confession but he was uncertain he'd be absolved. "Please forgive me, Cas. I'm begging here… Please"

Cas held it no more, his eyes were glassy and he blamed himself for being so ridiculous. None of this was his fault, yet he was the first one to come down. Weak.

Castiel blinked several times to keep away from crying, but a tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped it up with the back of his hand. There was a tight knot in his throat and his knees buckled.

"Dean, I… I love you. I'm trying to hate you but I can't. It's impossible" Dean heard this words with surprise and he swore to God, if there was one, he'd never let go of Cas. Castiel loved him, he _loved_ him.

"Cas, Cas, Castiel" chanted Dean cupping the other boy's face but Castiel shrank away and looked at the ground. His fists were clenched and if Dean wasn't wrong, he was quivering some too.

"Let me finish." Cas cleared his throat and squared his shoulders looking straight at Dean. "I love you, it's true. But I wish to stop this" he gestured them, their relationship.

"What?!" Dean shrieked. He was scared shitless about this. Cas was really ending it.

Castiel swallowed hard before continuing. The tone of his voice carried a solemn note, dignity screaming to be heard "I was informed of your interest for Bela Talbot, Dean"

Shock ran through his veins and his eyes blew open wide "What interest, Cas? What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's okay. She must be a nice person to have caught your interest. I won't meddle between you and her. It's better if we finish this so we can both move on." Each word was a step closer to the closure he needed. Castiel's fingers were fidgeting with his button and the warm contact of Dean's hands on his was a blessing.

Dean looked into the blue eyes that enamor him each day more.

"I don't like Bela. At all" the mere remembrance of her provoke his insides to jolt in disgust but he shut her out of his mind. There was no space for her here; this was the puzzle fitting together again. This was the completion of a chapter and the beginning of a new one, a better one. "I have eyes only for you, Cas. Since I saw you… You're everything, everything! I don't know if you still believe me or not but I'm telling you, man, there's no one but you. I… I made a mistake. I know. But we can work this out, can't we? We have to, Cas. We _have_ to. You're the most important person. In my whole life. Just you. Please, baby, please give me another chance. I won't screw up. I promise" this had to be by far the longest speech he'd said, but he didn't regret a word of it because he knew every word that came out of his lips was true.

Castiel wanted to kiss Dean so badly, he really wanted to, but…

"Were you drunk today as well?" he pushed Dean's hands gently away from his. The distance they'd been holding wasn't healthy for what he was trying to do.

"What do you mean?" asked Dean. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Everything was going so good, why couldn't good things last a little longer?

Castiel's gaze flare burning Dean "Don't lie to me" the pitch went up. His relaxed posture wasn't present at the moment, instead he was tense. Dean felt shrinking.

"Okay, okay. Geez, Cas… Let me explain"

"Let me explain" mimicked Cas feeling irritated at Dean's behavior "What _is_ there to explain, Dean? How you made a fool of me by saying you loved me, that I was the only one? I believed you and you just—"

Dean interrupted him. He was shouting and drowning Cas' voice with it. "Don't you say it! Fuck, Cas! Don't you dare say I don't love you 'cause you're wrong!" he paced from one side to the other, not being successful in calming down. "You really think I'd lie about that? About _us?"_

"Oh, I don't know. You're pretty skilled at lying. You and Bela have shared more than one kiss but that's no threat for our relationship, right?"

"She kissed me!" it was a weak argument but the only one he had. "She said some crap about loving me but I have no feelings for her. Believe me"

Dean stood close to him, so close their noses were almost touching as well as their chests. There was a tension filling the air, a need to be closer yet far.

"So what was it?" inquired Cas defiantly "What _crap _happened to you? If I may know, of course"

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. He thought it was going to be hard but this was incredible. "My parents, okay? They're getting a divorce"

Dean felt dizzy while the pair of blue eyes scrutinized him, hard at first but softened by the end. Perhaps this was a low blow, but he was running out of options and Castiel needed to understand this had been nothing. That they could still be together.

"I'm sorry to hear about that" Castiel said with a stoic face. He was without a doubt fighting whatever his feelings were.

"Goodbye, Dean"

Dean tried to beckon Cas back to him, to hold him in his arms, or to be held by his angel but he was incapable of moving.

* * *

The final days of May proved to be a torture for Dean. Not only his grades had come down and his spirits crashed to the floor. He also had to deal with the pain of watching Castiel every single day.

Castiel ignored Dean's attempts after their argument. There was nothing else to be talked about. He was just waiting for this hell to be over. He'd never have to see the face of Dean again. Then he would start to forget and it all would be fine.

Then, Castiel skipped a four days of school in a row.

John and Mary divorced pretty easily. Mary had already made the arrangements and only John's sign was needed to seal the deal. The older Winchester accepted like a repentant dog the consequences of his actions.

He hadn't returned to the house for his stuff, but after three weeks he did.

Dean saw him coming and groaned. Making small talk with his father wasn't something he was very keen to do. Especially after his break up with Cas.

"Hey, Dean" said John. His words weren't slurred and he could keep his stance.

Dean didn't respond. He saw the empty cases behind John and felt pain. As much as he wanted to, hate would never be something he'd direct to his father.

"Wanna help me with these?" John gestured to where the cases were and Dean nodded.

On the way to the bedroom and while packing the suitcases, Dean and John conversed, at ill ease, but they did. John avoided talking about Mary, and Dean never mentioned Cas.

They were loading the little luggage in the truck and Dean felt curiosity blooming inside him so he asked.

"Dad, are you sober?"

John roared with laughter. It was a sound so strange to Dean, so nice to listen to, Dean thought.

"I am, boy. I am" Dean was about to ask something else but John stopped him. "I figured what I should've many years ago. I lost you, your brother and your mama. I was on the brink of losing my job as well and being homeless ain't pretty. Bobby received me but wouldn't let me near a beer, I had to work, and it was hell. For two weeks I went into detox and then I went back to Bobby's… I'm doing fine, Dean"

Dean chuckled happily for his father. Apparently John was strong if he needed to be because to be beating such an addiction as his was; it was a hell of a good progress. Dean was excited about it but he remembered the previous times in which his father had gone clean just to wet his whistle again.

John pulled Dean into an embrace and kissed the top of his head.

"How are you?" he asked as he studied Dean, his eyes traveling over his son.

"Fine. I guess" Dean wanted to be sincere with his father. This was a new beginning, or at least he hoped so. But bringing Castiel into the conversation would destroy what little relationship he had with his dad. Besides, it wasn't like Dean and Cas had anything anymore.

"Are you happy?" Dean went quiet and John sensed all that was wrong. As father he had to repair his mistakes. His terrible, horrible mistakes. "Dean, I'm sorry. I really am. I was an asshole to you, boy. Those words… I shouldn't have, but I did."

Dean looked into his father's eyes. Was he apologizing for hating Dean like he had all these months?

"Dad…"

"I'm a terrible father, Dean. But I'm asking for your forgiveness. I know it's not gonna be easy, but I can deal with it. If it makes you happy I'm more than okay" he cupped Dean's face, and his eyes welled up.

Dean hugged his father and heavy salty drops fell from his eyes dampening John's shirt. He let go of his numbed pain. He hadn't spoken about Cas with anyone other than a brief explanation to Mary and Sam that Cas wouldn't be hanging out anymore.

He'd missed so much his father and now he was there, comforting him and patting his back with hands that talked about inexperience, but he was there.

"Are you okay with Castiel, son?"

Dean's arms tighten around his father and he shook his head in the crook of John's neck.

"What happened?"

Dean choked with tears and detached from his father.

"We… b-broke up?" he laughed a hollow sound, so disembodied of any actual emotion that it hurt.

"Oh, Dean" said John holding his boy with strong arms. "I'm sorry"

"Yeah… me too"

"What happened? Last time I saw you were, well, so united" even if the idea of Dean with another guy felt alien to his mind, his duty as a father, a good one, was to comfort his son. He even liked that Castiel boy!

"I fucked up." Dean wiped his tears with this tee. "He was too good for me, Dad"

Dean listened to his father say he was as good as a son could be. That Castiel was a fool if he didn't see how unique Dean was, and that he shouldn't be too hard on himself. Basically, Dean heard John talk like a father.

But then he said something else.

"When you love a person, Dean, you don't let _anything_ get in the way. You fight and fight 'til you stop breathing. If you love that boy, don't you let him go, boy. Don't make the same mistake I did."

Dean drove to Cas' house ready to face whatever stood between him and Cas. He wouldn't let anyone get in the way.

Three times he knocked on the door. Camille was the open it to Dean's relief.

"I need to talk with Cas"

"Oh, Dean" she was surprised to see him there. "You wanna come in, dear? I'm baking cookies!" the apron she was wearing confirmed her story but Dean had no time for tea and biscuits.

"I need to see Cas, Mrs. Novak" Dean looked past her shoulder in hopes of seeing Cas standing behind her but there was no one.

"Well, he's gone"

"Gone? Where?" a heavy weight fell on his stomach and his whole body weaken.

"Didn't say. He just said he needed some time for himself"

"And you let him?!" Dean could feel hot anger pumping through his veins.

"Well, he's of age now, you know"

Of course Dean knew. He had wanted to kiss Cas and wished him happy birthday but that was impossible.

"Thank you"

Dean went back to his car and cursed the Heavens for everything. Castiel was gone, who knew for how long, and where. This Destiny or Karma bitch was really getting off playing with him. With them.

Dean slept uneasy that night. He couldn't just store away this new knowledge. Cas could be anywhere, lost, or God forbid dead. He didn't know how to drive and he wasn't an experienced traveler. What if something bad, really bad happened to him? Could Dean be able to forgive himself? No, definitely not.

At three am Dean's cell phone buzzed waking him up. He grunted nonchalantly and shut his eyes when the light of the screen hit him in the darkness.

The voice was husky and desperate "Dean?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Than you, guys! You are amazing and I really enjoyed reading the reviews you left for me. This story wasn't supposed to be this long, initially there were just gonna be 8 chapters, but look how far we've gone! Okay, so anyways. Thanks you once again for taking the time with The New Novak Boy, I hope it fulfilled your expectations. Ah, I think that is all... My apologies to those I made suffer with Cas' and Dean's problems. **

**Here we go! **

* * *

The black Impala was going through the highway like a bat out of hell. The car disrespected stop signs and speed limits under the star-bespangled sky which vowed to drench the parched fields and the thirsty roads.

Dean was driving at twice the speed allowed, not really conscious of his actions. His mind was distracted and charged with apprehension. He couldn't put two and two together and get the correct answer. Pressing harder on the pedal wouldn't be beneficial for him or his baby, but he needed to get to Cas as fast as it was humanly possible.

The purr of the engine was soothing. Cold air disheveled his short hair and cooled his skin to the point his face felt numb as well as his fingers on the wheel.

Pale salmon tones dyed the sky, the drapes which revealed an ardent sun. A thin line of red announced the uprising star, and the barren grounds lying at each side of the road were flat and graceless.

Dean had been driving for four hours now and yet the whirlwind in his mind hadn't dissipated. The sound of Cas' distressed voice was enough to leave him at death's door. The horizon in the foreground was an endless path of concrete and Dean was sure it became longer and longer with each mile he advanced, as if it wanted him never to move onward.

It was barely eight in the morning when Dean reached Illinois. Cas' choked words sank in his mind. The boy hadn't said much but Dean read every possible other meaning there was to them. He was torn in the inside; on the one hand he believed Cas had forgiven him, that all was okay now and that this was a good sign because Cas apparently needed help and he contacted Dean for said task; on the other hand, eating away his guts, was the suffocating sensation everything had gone southward, all was worst and Cas was in so much trouble his only option left was the stupid ex-boyfriend he never wanted to see.

The second alternative was preferred by Dean. It meant Cas hated him, Cas would act harsh and rough and the desperation Dean had heard on the phone was just false pretense. It meant Dean couldn't hurt Cas anymore and he was okay with that.

Thirty minutes later he was circulating the town Castiel had mentioned, Pontiac. The streets were dark due to the heavy rain that had fell on the previous night but the air was limpid with the renovation of freshly wetted earth and vegetation.

Dean parked the car on a curb and reached for his cell phone. There were no missed calls or messages, nothing. For all he knew, and what he terribly feared was that Castiel had never called, that the succinct conversation between them was just a figment of his imagination, forlorn and anxious to reconnect with the soul he learned to love almost immediately after seeing for the first time.

"Cas…" Dean spoke hesitantly still not sure if what was going on was real "Cas?"

A sigh of relief came from the other end of the line "Dean"

Dean's chest rose up and down in a swift motion sure evidence of nervousness. Suddenly the space inside the Impala was too small and the air compressed, his tongue tied.

Neither of them spoke for several seconds which actually felt like eons. Each boy listened to the respiration pattern of the other in an attempt to gain knowledge of his well-being.

"Uh… Cas, where are you?" asked Dean. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brow not sure if Castiel wanted to see him or if it had been all a huge misunderstanding. He prayed for the first.

"Southside cemetery"

"Okay. Don't move, I'll be there soon."

"Thank you" Dean ended the call abruptly and pinched the bridge of his nose before starting his quick search for the graveyard. He imagined what was all this about. Cas was with his parents, he'd wanted to come back home. Dean couldn't bring himself to judge the guy for this. He'd help Cas, even if that meant Cas going away from him and disappearing from his life. If Castiel's wishes were to return to his old town and live in his old house hanging out with old acquaintances then so be it.

Castiel was standing in front of a granite headstone. There was grime on the tombstone and weeds had grown covering the lower part of it. As he sat on the ground he started pulling the unwanted plants from the root. He had stopped crying some time ago, and when he'd talked to Dean on the phone, Castiel tried to sound as calm and normal as possible, but he knew he failed.

Footsteps subdued by the wet grass under their feet drew Cas out of his meditation. The footsteps he recognized; he knew every little noise and thud that body made.

"Hello, Dean" Cas looked up to where Dean was standing. He felt incredibly stupid for not knowing how this conversation would go. In the last minutes he had memorized his speech and measured all possible reactions from Dean but all of them had vanished when Dean's only response was a hand extended to help him up.

Dean put his arms around Cas' shoulder blades reminding himself he was doing something he wasn't allowed to, that he was already trespassing the bounds he'd marked in his mind about Cas and Cas' personal space, both physical and emotional.

With the first contact Castiel was shivering and trembling, every hair on his body standing as if electrified. His head had found its way to the crook of Dean's neck, sheltering in the warmth of his scent; salty tears streamed down his face and his arms were gripping tight at Dean's nape.

The ferocity and necessity injected in the embrace encouraged Dean to do what he wanted more than anything else, to hold on to Cas just like a godforsaken soul to hope. His strong arms clasped the body beneath them and his hand drew comforting circles on Cas' back.

"Shh, it's okay, Cas. It's fine. I'm here. It's okay" Dean muttered in Cas' hair kissing his forehead to continue his hold on the shorter boy.

Castiel whimpered and tried to answer but the words wouldn't come out; halfway in his throat they'd tied and make a knot leaving his adam's apple to bob erratic and frantic. Castiel felt his nose runny dripping and mixing with the tears he was still fighting back and being unsuccessful with.

"Dean… I'm. Oh God…" he pulled back to stare at Dean's eyes, their rim was pink, very close to red, and the wetness was there too. He wasn't crying, he wasn't as weak as Cas, of course. But the potential of the petty act was there, and Castiel's heart broke at the sight. Dean always so strong and vigorous and detached from feelings as mundane as the ones he was feeling at the moment, he was on the brink on coming down. For Cas.

Cas' waist was lean as the rest of his body. The thin frame shivering under his own body awoke the flare of protectiveness inside of Dean, the one that was usually reserved for Sammy, but now extended to this precious being confiding his sorrows in him. "Cas, it's fine" his voice broke and fuck that wasn't the moment for him to become a wuss.

Some minutes passed before Cas was composed enough to let go of Dean. The second withdrew reluctantly knowing this was the last time he'd be as close as that to Cas.

Wiping away the tears Cas' eyes remained fixed on Dean. He had the look of a person who hasn't rested on days, a starving person who devours with the eyes and never allays the hunger within.

His throat hurt so he cleared his voice before speaking, after making sure he was able to say anything, of course. "I'm sorry, Dean. I'm not entitled to—" his hand gestured between them to refer to what had just occurred "Please forgi—"

"Stop" Dean threw his hands up and moved his head from right to left. This was his only chance and he was aware of it. He needed to explain himself to Cas to be less hated, less despised. However, Dean couldn't believe, it didn't enter his mind Cas was capable of such emotions. Castiel, so pure and bright, there was no way for a gram of hatred to live within that body, to bear the weight of akin immaculateness.

Tilting his head Cas gasped for air but never abandoned Dean's face. He was chiseling it in the front of his mind for it to last in there for as long as his sanity would permit.

"Cas, I'm sorry. No, listen to me" Dean stepped closer because, fuck, he needed to be closer. All this time away from Castiel had numbed the pain in his chest but now it was there and he was not going to push it away. He was going to deal with it and try to make things, if not better, clearer.

He took a deep breath and continued "I was stupid. I was a dick for what I did and I'm s-sorry… God, I'm sorry, Cas. I am." Cas had both his eyes and nose red, the dry trails of tears still marking his face. "I fucked up big time and I… I just know that I'm sorry, Cas. That's all I know and I'm feeling guilty, so damn guilty for being so bad to you. Asking for a second chance, well I know it's never gonna happen, but I want to explain for being such an asshole. You think you've got a minute for that, Cas?" fighting back the urge to lift his ex-boyfriend's chin Dean kept his hands to his sides in a military stance.

Castiel's head was a little woozy, Dean noticed his hair was damp and wondered if… No, he hadn't shed a tear, and even if he had it wouldn't have caused the sogginess Cas' hair had. Cas hugged himself and nodded looking down after eyeing the green eyes briskly. If he stared more than a few seconds he'd drown and never would be able to comprehend Dean's words.

"That night… I was upset, and I'm not trying to excuse myself 'cause you know I'm not like that. It's just… My parents, they had a fight. Dad crashed the car because he was too drunk and Mom went mad. He could've fucking killed Sammy, so she couldn't take it anymore… His drinking. He. Fuck, it was bad, Cas. I—"

"Your Dad had an accident? Is he and Sam okay?" asked Cas, genuine concern in his voice. Dean didn't let himself hope too much.

"Yeah, he's okay. Sammy too." Cas avoided his gaze again and Dean carried on with a wretched voice. "Anyway, uh… I needed to clear my head and me being as stupid and brainless as I am, uh… I went to get drunk. You know it's damn ironic, Cas… My Dad, he… All that was happening was for that same freaking reason and I just. I wanted to forget, to think it wasn't happening, you know?" from the back of his throat came a raw deflated laughter.

Castiel's sight only covered the dewed grass and Dean's shoes. The accident wasn't something he knew, as for the divorce Dean had informed him some weeks ago. He hadn't given it much thought. Cas was familiar with Dean's strong, strong feelings for his relatives. They were the most important thing in his life, but thinking about Dean and a valid –no, not valid. Excusable, exculpatory, not too bad reason for his actions?- That would make him forget about what he was trying to feel for Dean, and his desire for keeping everything to himself, to let Dean in the past, to be deadened in the inside, it would be merely impossible.

"So I tried to call you, but you didn't answer…" Cas cringed remembering the missed call he'd seen in his phone that awful night. "I had some drinks and boozed up 'cause I'm not a drinker. I'm a very shitty one; I have two shots and drop out. But that time, I kept them coming, shot after shot, beer after beer and I well… Then Bela appeared and. Shit, I'm sorry. She kissed me but I kissed her back" he made a halt to study Cas' face but it was blank, and for some reason that hurt him more. "Sorry, Cas. I'm half-witted and a douchebag. Uh… and then, you know what happened, you saw it." His voice had lowered with each letter until it was barely a whisper.

Castiel let Dean get a hold of himself and then asked "And why… did you kiss her again, at school?"

There was no disdain in that gruff voice, no sign of judgment but a want to understand.

"No, no. _That_ time I was sober and not wasted and I pushed her away. That wasn't what I wanted… what I needed." His hand hovered over Cas' shoulder but he let it fall back to his side "What I still need"

The crash of lips cut whatever he was about to say. Dean wasn't aware of what was happening at first, but then the body pressing against his, the fingers pulling his hair to then travel down to his back, holding him with claws of survivor brought him back to the present.

Castiel's lips were a little chapped as they always were. Cas' tongue parted Dean's lips and he ventured the interiors of Dean's mouth with it. He was oblivious of how much he'd needed this until he was with Dean once again. Dean bit softly his bottom lip and cupped his face with tenderness. The touch of Cas' eager lips and mouth on him was so familiar, so perfect, and vital. Dean kissed Cas softly, apologizing with actions better than words. The lock of their mouths was blazing and forgiving but they soon had to break it to get oxygen.

Foreheads pressed together, Dean laid his hand on Cas' neck while Castiel evened out his breathing, shuddering slightly.

"I missed you" said Cas opening his eyes, a renewed shimmer in them. He brought Dean's face a little lower and proceeded to kiss his forehead, then both his eyelids with gentle care, his cheeks after and Dean felt like melting. When Cas lips reached his chin Dean let out a quivering mewl. Open-mouthed caresses on his jaw made Dean shut his eyes tighter, the soft appearance of teeth on his skin startled him but he let go anyway. This was Cas. Cas was with him again, he wasn't backing off, it hadn't been a product of his mind. This was real, it was happening and damn he was gonna enjoy it for as long as it'd last.

"Mmm… missed you too" said Dean completely blissed out by the touches Cas rewarded him with. "So, you and I… are we _okay_? You forgive me?"

Cas' thumb brushed Dean's cheek with affection "Yes, Dean. We're okay, we're _more_ than okay"

They stood there for some time. They never spoke another word but kisses and strokes told the real story. And then a growl reverberated between them.

"Uh… sorry" Cas lips were all puffy and now his already flushed face, was tainting redder spots on his cheeks. It was a delightful visage.

Dean's arms were a reassuring pressure. He chuckled, but now the sound wasn't as it had been some little time ago, that emptiness which had terrified Cas was replaced by contentment and mirth.

"You hungry?"

"I guess…"

Dean unstuck from Cas to get a good look at him. The boy certainly looked tired and disarrayed. He paid attention to Cas' damp hair, he had bags under his eyes and if his sight wasn't lying, he did look thinner.

"When was the last time you ate, Cas?"

"I had a coffee last night" said Cas defensively, though his tone wasn't harsh.

"Food, Cas. When?" Cas didn't reply so Dean hooked an arm around his waist to bring him closer "Let's get some breakfast"

They strolled to the nearest diner. Dean wanted to ask what was Cas doing in a graveyard, though he suspected the reason. What he wanted to know was why, but he restricted himself from mentioning any of the sort. Castiel was fine but he could still push Dean away for meddling in his business.

Two orders of omelette, hashbrowns and sausages were on the table. Cas asked for a hot chocolate, whereas Dean preferred black coffee.

With a mouthful of food Dean picked up the conversation. He was sitting across Cas and the space the table imposed between them was most bothersome. "I'm not complaining, but… why did you call me, Cas? Don't think it was for the make out session, was it?"

Castiel lowered his fork and stared at the window. He simply answered "I needed a ride back home"

"Oh" Dean fell silent after that. So he'd been used just for a lift, what else was he expecting, the miracle of having Cas completely by his side again? Those kinds of things were reserved for movies. Sappy movies.

Seeing the distress provoked, Cas leaned over the table and took both Dean's hands in his own, he was resenting the distance set by the table as well. "That's not what I meant. It didn't come out properly…" Dean looked into his eyes and the feeling of being the girl of the relationship was almost too overwhelming but he didn't give a rat's ass. "I meant I needed help and you're the only one I could think of."

Dean lifted the thin pale hands and showered them with light touches of his lips adoring every inch of this flawless human being who was stupid enough to like him. "What kind of help?"

"I… My intentions were to return to Lawrence and finish school after. I was just spending some days here and I was going to go back, but… I had no means of transportation or money, for that matter"

"You came here penniless?"

"No, no. I had enough funds to do everything I wanted to do, just…"

Cas looked away and retreaded his hands from Dean's. "What, Cas?" inquired Dean taking a sip of his coffee.

"I was mugged"

Dean spat the dark liquid over the red and white mantel on the table. "You what?!"

"A couple of thieves divested me from my money, Dean. I was robbed" said Castiel patiently. He didn't want to go over the story; it wasn't something too pleasant to remember.

"Sons of bitches! Those cowards, two against one? Oh you wait, Cas, I'm gonna gank those motherfuckers until—"

Looking the uprising anger unfolding inside Dean, Cas intervened "No, it's fine. Really. You're not going to… _gank_ anyone"

"Did they hurt you?"

Cas stared at him intently and brought up the cup of his hot chocolate to let the warm fluid invade his senses.

"Cas…"

A waitress came with a slice of pie Dean had ordered. She stood there sizing him up and asked "Anything else, sweetie?"

Nostrils flared Dean answered "That'd be all. Thanks"

She turned to Castiel and asked him the same question in her sickly-sweet voice.

Cas smiled at her "No, thank you" said he politely.

"Alrighty then!" she appeared to have taken particular interest on Dean for she bent a little to talk to him "Don't you wanna give today's special a try, big boy? It's delicious, you definitely should—"

"Lady. Leave" said Dean through gritted teeth and not looking at the bitch face the waitress was giving him. Cas couldn't help a soft laughter.

With the waitress smell in his nose and Cas' mysterious attitude Dean was, miraculously, put out of his pie. Well, not completely, but he would eat it later. "Cas…"

Castiel had picked the tablespoon and was eating small pieces of pecan pie. Dean didn't argue, it was endearing to have Cas eating his food, and in what damn moment had he turned into such a girly girl? Sharing food and being all dreamy about it, seriously?

"If they touched a single hair of yours I'm… Fuck, Cas! Tell me something!"

Cas licked the spoon, oblivious of how fucking sexy that looked. Cas eating pie? Definitely a new fetish.

"I was slightly injured, Dean. Nothing of import" said Cas. His voice so smooth and calm, not what one would expect of someone who's being robbed.

Dean shook his head in disbelief of Cas' lack of interest in his own security "Nothing of… nothing? For God's sake Cas! You know who they were?"

"It was dark" Cas took another piece of pie, half of it was already gone and Dean hadn't tasted it. "I don't know them and it's not too painful, just a couple of punches."

"Okay, okay" Dean was conscious that if Cas wasn't to pursue the topic he wouldn't get another word of it. "And why are you all soaked and looking like you've seen a ghost?" Cas tilted his head, confusion at Dean's words was something typical in their relationship. "I mean… you look worn out, Cas."

"Oh, that" Cas took the final bite of the pie. It really was delicious. "I told you, I had no money so I could not pay for a room to stay the night. I was out there just waiting for it to be an appropriate hour to call you but I couldn't wait."

"Don't you have a house here? Why didn't you go there instead of going all Michael Jackson under the rain?"

"I wasn't performing…" he sighed, Dean and he both knew what the former was referring to so he didn't elaborate there "I couldn't go back there, Dean. It's just… I can't go back into that house anymore. I-I can't"

Dean didn't want to give free rein to this conversation. Just because he had been good at explaining and making himself understandable, it didn't meant he was king of emotions or any of the sort.

"Okay" he got up and offered a hand to let Cas up too "but before going back to Kansas, you're gonna take a shower and change into some clean, dry clothes before you catch a cold. Okay?"

"Okay" said Cas heavily. Then they were walking back to the car, Dean's hands on his shoulders motioning him forwards.

"And I'm gonna have a look to see if those _injuries_ aren't as bad like you say"

They found a motel in little time. The receptionist had given them a sour look but they couldn't care less. The room was tiny, just containing the basics. The wallpaper was striped so it wasn't too bad, but the comforter on the bed –they paid the cheaper room because, seriously, the most they'd be here would be like an hour—was completely another story. It was too flowery for anybody's taste; the rest of the furniture was vintage, a synonym for old and cheap.

"You go take a shower. I have some clothes in the car you can borrow." Dean scraped his nape and went out taking as long as he could. The thought of being alone with Cas in a motel while his nude body was getting splashed by water, was overpowering. The spring breeze of the morning was fresh and brought hopes of a new opportunity with his angel. He couldn't blow it this time.

When he opened the door to the room the view that greeted him made his jaw dropped. There was Castiel with his torso all exposed and a white towel dangling from his hips. Dean had seen Cas naked some time back, but that had been when they were very aroused and in the brink of release. Now, he was looking at a completely different Cas; this Cas hadn't noticed his presence because his eyes were closed and half his back was turned to Dean, this Cas was so natural and graceful in every movement his muscles allowed, this Cas wasn't aware of how erotic his skin was sprinkled with licking water drops, and his hair so tangled and dark and Dean only wanted to tug it over and over whilst he made Cas come with that delicious flush plastered on his pretty face.

Towel drying his hair, Castiel opened his eyes and saw Dean reflected in the mirror, the wanton his… boyfriend? showed was enough to make his blood run hot after the refreshing shower. He blinked twice and waited for Dean to react at the reality of the situation and when he did Castiel felt a little disappointed.

"I'm. Gonna wait uh… outside. Get dressed before you know ah, get sick or something. Bye" in the haste of his departure Dean almost tripped over nothing and laughed the sound he used when he was embarrassed. Castiel knew him pretty well so he could see through the guise Dean was pulling off.

"Weren't you gonna look at my injuries?" his voice came out husky and rougher than he'd intended and fuck, he was getting hard.

Dean mumbled something Cas couldn't understand and moved a hand to the bed telling Cas to sit there. He'd brought nothing to heal Cas, but that was okay. Cas had said they weren't too bad and they couldn't be because if they were, Dean would've noticed them while he lusted distractedly Cas' slender body.

Hands over his lap, Castiel closed his eyes to receive the warm touch of Dean's fingers trailing over his humid skin. They were docile and his body screamed for more contact, he needed more of Dean, all he could get, but Dean's previous hesitation made Cas question the intentions of the taller boy. Maybe Dean's body as well as Cas' was crying out for the heat the other provided, the ache prayed to be alleviated after weeks of separation, the yearning built inside since they'd started being more than friends, that desire of being united together in the most primal and loving of embraces.

Dean found a stomach bruise and palmed it with extreme delicacy, Cas didn't squirm under his touch and he took it as a sign of Cas telling the truth. It wasn't too bad. Next his eyes fell on a bigger contusion on Castiel's back. This one was bluish-purple instead of red, it was progressing faster, Dean thought. Under his finger Cas moaned and Dean moved back his hand horrified of causing pain in Cas. The guy had already been beat up and now Dean was reliving the trauma by laying his hands on the very places he'd been punched. _Way to go, Winchester_.

"Cas, you okay?"

The expression on Cas' face wasn't one of pain or agony, it was of longing, anguish, appetite? Dean cleaned his hand with his jeans and allowed himself to admire the beauty in front of him. Cas stood up and suddenly clammy hands gripped his face and desperate moans were traveling down his throat, which weren't his, although he couldn't say some of his own repertory hadn't made his way into the other boy's mouth. Dean's back was pressed to the wall and his hands were clutching the bare back of Cas and Cas was just shoveling his tongue all the way inside Dean and then Dean was getting damp by Cas' droplets of water still lingering on his body.

Dean lifted Cas holding his waist, and Cas' legs locked behind Dean. Everything was soggy and wet and fuck, that just made things sexier.

"Mmm, I _missed_ you, babe. _I missed you_" Dean said between kisses. Castiel was sucking his neck, there'd be hickeys left, and he was damn happy for it. Apparently Cas didn't notice Dean's words because he just kept leaving his marks on Dean, too distracted with the throat thrown back for him to vitiate.

The weight Dean was supporting was delicious, it was like his body had finally found what it had yearned for all this time. Against his stomach there was something pressing and throbbing and twitching. Dean realized the towel, in some moment, had fell, and now Cas was all bare and naked and aching for release. Dean wanted release too, but most of all, he wanted to make this last because he wasn't with anybody. This was Castiel, the angel who had forgiven his sins and defects, and _loved_ him.

Dean grabbed Cas' ass squeezing both cheeks. Cas mewled in response thrusting his hips and causing more pre-cum to ooze out of his dick and stain Dean's shirt. His body was experiencing a fever and now the water on his skin was mingled with the sweat of his arousal.

"_Ahh_… Umph, Dean… Dean" Cas panted. Dean's hands were everywhere, from his face to his cock to his ass. "Dean… I uhh _god. _I want to oh… f-fuck you, Dean. Let me. Fuck. You"

Dean had fantasized about this moment so many goddamn times since he'd met Cas. Everything about this boy made him perfect for fucking, but in his fool's paradise Cas had always been the one asking to be penetrated by a cock, Dean's cock. To be completed with the length and being coated with Dean's seed. The petition Cas made threw him off for a moment.

"Yes, yes. Anything for you, babe. Fuck me, Cas. _Fuck me_!" Dean moved to where the double bed was. The flowery duvet wasn't so bad looking after all. With Cas there in a half-sitting position, propped up by his elbows and cock on display, fat and asking to get inside Dean, to enlarge his hole by shoving itself all the way inside. Dean fought his way out of his garments as fast as his clumsiness and desperation let him. When he finished it was to see Castiel pumping his dick, pupils blown and a hypnotizing sweep of his hips.

Dean kissed his forehead and the bead squeaked with the movement.

Cas got out of his trance and nodded, eyes never leaving Dean. "Lay down" Dean obeyed immediately. He let himself relax under Cas. Even if his dick was wrestling to discharge all the cum his balls had in storage.

Castiel felt his body in flames, every touch of his lips against Dean's skin made a torrent of stimulating sensations explode inside his body. His hands supported the weight of his body by being pressed on Dean's crotch. Cas began his work by giving tentative licks at the tip of Dean's very erect penis. He could feel the appendage jerk with desire and that only made him harder, if that was possible.

"Please, Cas. Please. I want ah… you. You inside me, pleas-sse. _Cas" _Dean felt each tiny lick send a thunder of prurience to his dick. Both of them knew they wouldn't last much longer, the need was too strong and they were utterly weak to the enchanting sounds and movements of the other.

The drawer in the nightstand had several packets of lube. Castiel tore one of them open with his teeth and easily coated his fingers with it. Dean felt oily liquid at his entrance just before Cas' teeth sank in his thigh, he could feel the suppressed groan printed on his skin. The anticipation was the worst because he didn't have Cas inside and he was a little worried about how this would go, but he tried to relax his muscles to let Cas inside him.

"Ah… would it be easier if you got on all fours?" asked Cas stopping his nibble for a bit and watching Dean.

"Yeah… But I uh. Wanna see you" replied Dean a little embarrassed. He was gonna play the bitch and he was craving for it. Each second without the swelling mast Cas' cock in his hole was a second wasted. He never thought he'd be one to beg for a cock to fill him up but there he was, withering under Castiel and asking him to do it.

Cas nodded and trapped Dean's lips with his. He tasted salty but there was a trace of coffee impregnated in his taste buds Cas loved. He pressed a finger to Dean's puckered hole, it was tight but it opened anyway to suckle his digit. Dean groaned animatedly, and this was something Cas found fascinating; Dean was so responsive about these things, every caress received a moan, every kiss was drown by greedy hands and each stroke on the inside or the outside was rewarded with his whimpers and cries.

"You're beautiful" said Cas, introducing a second finger and enjoying the tightness of the channel. "And so so tight, Dean."

Dean huffed but the sound was interrupted by the sob that ran fugitive when his prostate was slightly brushed by the digits. "Cas… Cas" he said. The name had become a mantra by then, the only sound his lips articulated other than guttural responses to the strokes of his lover.

"Dean… I'm ahh!" Cas third finger joined the other two. Dean's greedy hole tighten around them and he started fucking Cas' hand with delighted motions, his mewls and pants drawing him nearer the edge every time, but he couldn't come. He had to make this last.

The loss of something inside his anus was abrupt, and he repented it. He needed to have something to fill him and stretch him, he wanted to ride Castiel's dick long and hard all day long. His train of thought was interrupted by the paralyzing feeling of something waiting outside his asshole. It was the tip of Cas' cock, he was just waiting for the confirmation from Dean, the sign of approval to shove his raw boner into that pinkish muscle which made itself larger and larger, absorbing everything just to have him tight inside.

"You sure? Want my cock inside, Dean?" Cas asked choking on his words, his breathing was erratic and his erection was just jerking right outside Dean.

"Fuck yes, Cas! Yes. Now!" Dean shouted his words, caring no longer if the neighbors next door heard them. His legs came to rest around Castiel's waist and the shorter boy kissed his lips lightly. Cas breathed in the smell of Dean, he liked Dean like this. This Dean nobody knew, this Dean was reserved only for him, and this Dean was _his. _

With a sudden thrust Cas was all inside Dean. The latter closed his eyes to the feeling of completion his body welcomed. He was holding onto Cas by his neck, arms all the way up there passing by Cas' underarms, making the position more intimate. They rested like that for a minute, letting some calmness to return, not that it was possible. The heavy drops of sweat made their skin slick and slippery and Dean's pre-cum leaking between them brought them back to the present instead of the dreamy state they were embed in.

"_Move_" the single word was a command Castiel wouldn't dream to refuse. His pushes were a little clumsy for he had never fucked anything in his life other than a pillow and Dean's mouth. Dean.

They gained a soft rhythm which increased its speed when Dean asked for more. What Dean asked Castiel gave. Each assault to the incredibly sensitive spot inside Dean made both of them agonize in ecstasy. Dean couldn't take much more of his prostate being attacked by a vibrating cock so he came first. "CAS!" Dick twitching and man groaning and purring, gasping for dear air and completely blissed out. The cum spreading all over Dean's chest, his cock spilling its contents and splashing Dean's chin with it was what made Cas come with the final plunges of his enlarged member coating Dean's channel.

He fell on top of Dean just after swallowing all of Dean's cum with gentleness and dedication. "Tastes good" He wished to be inside Dean forever but knew he had to pull out to make the afterglow more comfortable. Dean covered them with the flowery duvet but in the act Cas' cock slipped out of him and he wished he hadn't moved. _What a cockslut._

Castiel used Dean's chest as a pillow and Dean hugged him as best as he could. At least he wasn't getting the chick position when cuddling. Dean was tired. The sex had been amazing but now he wanted to sleep and rest with Cas cradled in his arms where he belonged.

"I wanted to come back home" said Castiel pressing his lips to Dean's collarbone and nuzzling his neck.

Dean already knew that but he didn't know what to say. He was shit at these touchy feely moments. He let Cas continue, he'd be a listener, just what Castiel needed.

"I wanted to feel good again, Dean" he was now toying with a nipple and pondering his words. "I thought if I came back it'd be good again. You know that at my uncle's house I don't feel at complete ease. It's not where I belong." Dean let out a soft hum to let Cas know he was still listening, that he hadn't fallen asleep giving no importance to his words. "But when I was in my old house, it just… it was worse, Dean. The feeling of emptiness was still there and then I realized it, Dean."

Dean waited for Castiel to continue but he didn't. "What was it, baby?"

Cas' voice came out shy but confident. His lush lips caressing Dean's neck "You. It's you, Dean. Here in Pontiac there's nothing for me. My parents are dead and very far from here I expect, so nothing here waits for me. And there in Lawrence… Well, my family is there, yes. But… It's not the same… All summer I was out of place and I didn't know what to do or if I wanted to do anything at all, Dean. And then you came into my life unexpectedly and so, I don't know… My life changed, believe it or not, it did. Even if it sounds ridiculous, it's true. With you I felt whole for the first time in months, and when I woke up that morning embraced by you I thought it was a dream, that you were a dream, Dean"

Dean was certainly befuddled by Cas' speech. He hadn't expected this, none of this. He wasn't worthy of such care from another person. But maybe he deserved this, he was not a perfect person, nowhere near, but maybe it wasn't about being perfect. Cas wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for Dean. Every little quirk and flaw –as Castiel called them- was object of adoration for Dean. He loved everything about this boy, and maybe Cas loved everything about him, too.

"I'm not trying to put this weight on your shoulders, Dean, but I fear you're part of me now. I need you more than you need me and it scares me because maybe someday you'll grow tired of me and I can't… I c-can't have that, Dean. I can't. You're my home now"

Dean kissed Cas' temple and held him firmer against his body. "Shh, it's fine, Cas. I won't leave. I promise you. I won't." Dean waited for Cas' heartbeat to slow down, he loved being able to be this close to his angel, it felt so right, like it was supposed to be this way "I love you, Castiel Novak. I love you"

Castiel moved up to trap Dean's lips and stroke with his tongue every crevice he could find. "I love you too, Dean. I love you so, so much"

* * *

They went directly to Cas' home. Five days without knowledge of their nephew whereabouts or wellbeing should've been sickly-worrying. Dean went with Cas to the inside, he hadn't been there since the disastrous party now that he thought about it.

Who received them was Anna. The girl looked with relief at her cousin and hugged him lovingly muttering some words in his ear Dean couldn't catch.

"Hello, Dean" said Anna waving a hand at him. Her eyes glimmered and Dean remembered Cas telling him this girl had some kind of crush on him. He waved back.

"Dad!" shouted she "Castiel's back!"

Not long after, Zachariah came sprinting and halting when he caught sight of his brother's son "Boy you had us worried! At least me. You know how your aunt is, little too liberal and a little too conservative where she shouldn't, right?" he pulled Cas into a man hug and then let go to turn his eyes to Dean who was squared his shoulders and straighten his posture.

"Sir"

"What are you doing here, Winchester?" asked the man, caution and fierceness flaming his pupils.

"He was the one to bring me all the way from Pontiac, uncle. He helped me" as much as Castiel despised what Zachariah had done to Dean; he wanted to make amends between them. He wanted them to get along.

"Is that so?" asked Zach gazing anew at Dean but there was something different in the way he was staring at him, Dean noticed.

"Yes, sir"

Zachariah nodded and extended his hand to Dean who shook it after some seconds of hesitation. Castiel had nudged him.

"I believe I owe you an apology, young man" Dean startled at the man's words, was he really going to apologize for all those things he'd said? After days of mopping around for Cas was he finally getting him back and even getting his family to accept him? Not to mention his own family's approval and blessing? "But I'm not one for such things." He chuckled throwing back his head and Dean rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I guess you're back together with Castiel here so… welcome to the family, son" he pulled Dean into the same kind of embrace he'd greeted Cas with.

"He's still a dick" said Dean once he was alone with Cas in the front porch.

"Yeah" Castiel held his wrist and crashed their lips together, opening his mouth immediately to let Dean in. This freedom of kissing or getting kissed by Cas whenever or wherever he wanted without having to worry about family issues was something Dean treasured deeply.

Cas withdrew from the kiss but placed a few more pecks on Dean's closed mouth before going inside his home. If he didn't then Dean wouldn't go and as much as he wanted he knew Dean had to go back to his family to explain his sudden departure in the middle of the night. He just hoped Dean wouldn't get into so much trouble for him.

Up from the window of his room Castiel saw the Impala driving away. The evening painted the skies with beautiful colors announcing that the summer would settle in Lawrence in no time. Castiel thought about everything that happened in his life since that tragic day both his parents resulted dead from the car accident. Everything had been a blur, everything had been hopeless but then… then he found something worth wanting to live for. The blindfold fell and he saw everything he'd been missing his entire life. His whole existence had been limited by boundaries he didn't dare to overstep.

With the entrance of Dean Winchester in his life Castiel rediscovered who he really was, the self-esteem he lacked came back every time Dean praised him, and the hollowness of his soul was fulfilled by Dean's presence. Life at Lawrence was pretty good.


	15. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

The day Castiel turned 18 was a Thursday.

Camille had organized a dinner in his honor alongside with Mary. The two women got along pretty well as the rest of the members of both families did. It was strange, Cas thought, that two families so unlike each other shared and enjoyed together just because Dean and he were together.

He had spent most of the day with Dean, though, going to anywhere in town they felt like it and doing whatever they wanted. Naturally, they'd spent good portion of the day fucking each other's brain out. They fucked soft and pliant in the back of the Impala while it was parked in front a lake; they gave each other handjobs in the back of an alley in broad daylight just because Dean wanted to experience with the chance of getting caught, he said it made things more thrilling; Cas gave Dean a blowjob while he was driving and Dean had repaid the favor by doing the same thing, just adding whipped cream to his boyfriend's swollen cock to play some pie fantasy.

The night fell engulfing the sun with its velvety darkness. All members of the Novak and the Winchester family sat at the table in the backyard sharing and trading anecdotes and having a good time.

Cas heard John joking with Zachariah, their laughs a sound so alien to him yet very welcomed. His cousins were being as fussy as they always were and Castiel discovered he liked it; the chattiness and clatter of cutlery against plates. He liked this noise.

"And then I told her _My origin? I was bitten by a radioactive porn star" _the sound of various hands hitting foreheads was heard at Gabriel's commentary.

"You really told her that?" asked Parker. "No wonder you attract no decent girls, Gabe"

"As a matter of I did, Parky Park. And who says I don't attract decent girls? Just because you're Michael's husband now doesn't mean you can try to overpower me, naughty boy!" Gabriel had a glint in his eyes so mischievous Dean compared it to a predator that takes pleasure in watching the prey die slowly.

"Drop it, Gabe" announced Michael frowning. Gabriel mocked his older brother with mimics but shut up. He just enjoyed too much picking on the new addition of the family. Parker was actually very shy which made him a perfect target for his pranks.

Sammy was at ease with the rest of the group talking with anyone who started the conversation and he turned out to be a pretty good orator. Hmm, maybe he was good material for a lawyer.

Dean was holding Cas' hand under the table. The lights were getting stronger with the advancement of the night. The air was cool on the skin and Castiel wondered if this was like all other people lived their lives. Careless and happy just being who they wanted to be without the weight of the past over their shoulder, without worrying about the future at every second.

"Is Dean still your prime crush, match stick?" asked Balthazar in good humor.

"Nah. Cas can keep him" answered Anna. She looked healthier, some time ago her mother had forbid her from hanging out with those friends she had, and now she look positively better. It was an unspoken truth that she had been dragged into an abyss in an attempt to be popular; she had had some problems with her eating habits, but now, after leaving the bad influences behind she'd returned to her old self.

"Looks like you're not the toy boy any longer, Winchester" mocked Balthazar sipping champagne.

Dean laughed. He was familiar with the manners of each Novak so it resulted very hard to pull the right trigger on him.

"Fireworks time!" cried out a male voice, Cas recognized it to be John's. The man had kept his promise so far; he was sober and working, being there for his boys when it was important. He and Mary were in good terms, but going back together was a road none of them wanted to take.

The night was refreshing, a few stars could be seen and the dew on the grass was just getting started. Sammy and Samandiriel helped John with the fireworks.

First, the loud buzz prior to the explosion as the rockets of light ascended in the night sky. And then one after another, brilliant and blazing balls of fire were lost for less than a second, exploding in a shower of roars and colors.

Cas held Dean's hand all the while. It was a beautiful spectacle. He just wished his parents were here.

"Happy birthday, babe" said Dean very loud in his ear to get heard over the tremendous noise of the fireworks.

Castiel stared into the green eyes which were changing color with the colors of the fire in the firmament. He recalled the first time he'd seen Dean, and to him it felt like eons ago. He couldn't imagine a life without Dean because Dean had become an intrinsic part of him. All the new people in his life were dear to him, but Dean… Dean was so much more.

He tugged at Dean's neck and immersed him into a deep kiss. Dean moved in accordance with him giving his tongue little swings and twitches until Cas was moaning in his mouth and sending a shiver down his spine.

"Love you" gasped Cas with his forehead pressed to Dean's.

The fireworks were still up dancing in the air. People were too distracted to look at them so Dean cupped Cas' half hard cock through the fabrics and gave it a soft, rapid squeeze. "Love you too"

Lips over lips over again Cas was looking for Dean in the dark, wanting to be close to him, as closer as it could get.

"Easy tiger" said Dean between kisses "we can't put up this kind of show, can we?"

Cas sighed a little frustrated. "Yeah, I guess"

Dean encircled Cas' waist in his arms and pressed a kiss to his temple "But then again, you're eighteen and it's summer… We have all the time we want"

Cas curled up nearer to Dean to hear his heartbeat. If his parents were alive, they would've liked Dean very much.

"Sounds perfect"

Eventually the fireworks died, people retreated to their houses calling it a night.

Everyone did except Dean and Castiel. They went to a nearby diner to get something to sooth the growls of their stomachs. Cheeseburgers and milkshakes at well past midnight never tasted so good.


End file.
